What is Qualification? - BatMan
Thanks for taking the time to look over this. One thing I've noticed is a re-occurring theme among aspiring PUA's. You don't need to be psychic, but to only read the title. I'm talking about qualification of course. I'm not sure if it's a lack of knowledge or lack of emphasis on this subject (perhaps both), but I have decided to create a starting point for everyone so they can begin to wrap their head around this highly overlooked concept. Then we can begin to really appreciate the gravity that this component adds to our game. This is open for debate of course. Because I am simply a man with an opinion.
Imagine you walk into your favorite place. Whether it be a night club, a college bar, or even your local bookstore. You notice that ideal woman, with the proportions you desire, smile that sends men to heaven, and a laugh you'd kill to hear just a second time, and you then start to become giddy as Link if he walked into a room full of clay vases to smash. (Don't worry if you do not get the reference.)
Finally you remember your game. Get back your composure and start remembering all the techniques you've been learning for the past few weeks/months. You get your "cool guy" Mindset out and begin to devise a way to approach. Once you do, you start whipping out material after material with boatloads of confidence exuding out of your pores. She then starts to show those amazing ioi's that make a man feel worthy to be alive! But then you aren't sure what to do from here. Do you show interest in her yet? It would feel awkward beings that you've been teasing her this whole time. It wouldn't feel like a natural transition. So you continue running attraction material only to realize that things are going a bit stale. You aren't escalating anymore, but going in circles. So you think, "I can lock in what I have if I just get the phone number and get out!" Great idea!
So you get the number, talk for a few more minutes (because you know leaving immediately just feels like a pickup to the woman), and then leave. You text her the following day and she responds positively to your texts. Then it seems things quickly die out and it's like she's almost BORED of you. You then scramble for more techniques to run to get her back on course with your intentions to set up a date with her. Except nothing seems to work. The more you try, the more she is pushed away. Then you realize "Hey, I'm becoming too needy. I need to back off." So you disappear on her for a week, maybe two. Hoping she will contact you. The thing is...the chances become 50/50 at that point. How can you increase those chances? What could you have done differently to at least get a measly 60/40 chance?
Now let's talk about qualification. You see, we all come into this PUA game with one simple mindset..."we aren't good enough." Yes you may be disagreeing at this moment. You have been successful in the game for some time and your confidence is unrivaled, but really think about it. Why are you here? The reality is that we actually ARE good enough, but don't know it yet. That's where PUA can show us that we are. Almost in a cult-like fashion if you think about it.
One of the turning points in my game was while learning how to use qualification, that I realized that I have been approaching my game with this specific mindset "I'm not good enough" and that to pull off qualification properly, I'd have to start believing that I am ALREADY good enough.
Notice that when we are parading our techiques for women to notice us as charming pickup men, it all comes from the mindset that we need to impress her by being different. This is great for learning how to use these techniques, but eventually you WILL hit a wall. A wall that cannot be overcome unless you get out of this mindset.
Qualification, by PUA definition, is getting a woman to qualify herself to you as to why she would be a good fit for you. What a lot of us don't realize is that 9 out of 10 times when we approach a gorgeous woman, we have already qualified her in our minds and forget that she does not know this (or she pretends to not know). So we either show NO interest or too much. We don't think that we should take steps to allow her to discover for herself that we are slowly becoming more and more interested in her and want to know more about her as a person. Genuine high-caliber men know about this already because they will not just sleep with anyone. But as beginning PUA's we do not have the luxury of that kind of experience with women so we tend to forget this very crucial step. So how she perceives the interaction is this "Well he wasn't interested in me 20 minutes ago, but ever since (fill in the blank) he seems to be more curious." This shows that your interest in her is genuine because it is growing naturally.
The first step to becoming genuine during qualification and to not forget this step is to, literally, write a list of traits you want in your ideal woman...and stick to them. If a woman doesn't have anything you are looking for then that's up to you to decide to continue. You can walk away completely and not even bother, or use those "red flags" you've developed to dictate how emotionally invested you should become when dating her. Does she meet your standards to be your future girlfriend? Or does she just look like a fun time? It depends on your standards.
After this you'll notice that not only will women see you as a challenge and of high-value, but if she doesn't have what you are looking for, she may very well actually TRY to be your ideal woman so she can be with you. (Depending on the type of woman she is though.)
Qualification can be direct or indirect. The most direct qualification statement you could make to a woman is "Why should I be interested in you? What makes you so different?" Unless you are a celebrity and she is massively attracted to you then this will only turn her off by your blatant cockiness. So there's always the more subtle route such as stating "Why do all women like to go out and get trashy drunk every weekend?" or "If you dressed a little more conservatively, I'd be all yours." Mind you this also incorporates some push/pull, but that's a different topic. So I hope this shed some light on the topic of qualification and you recognize how crucial it is for all of us to develop standards so that we do not neglect this important step. Feel free to leave comments about your thoughts.
"All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."