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Thread: Almost there.

  1. #1
    fairman_84 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Arrow Almost there.

    First of all, hello all, this is my first post. From the vast spoils of a major city in western Canada. I have been casually observing and looking over the PUA literature out there across the internet, discussing tactics with a wide range of friends, and only today did i find myself eager to enter the forums.

    So let's get to business. I'll give some context, no pun intended.

    We are dealing with an ex-coworker. Let's say, HB 8.5 or 9. Had a fantastic connection for all of september. It happened to be the month after a long a awful summer where I gradually ended a two-year relationship, one of those live-together, plan-our lives-together type things. Looking back, it's entirely possible that I got destroyed by a BF-destroyer, to use the parlance of this subculture. Anyhow, perhaps this is why I am taking a real interest in PUA theory now. Back to this ex-coworker with whom things went swimmingly back in september. I was just loaded to the hilt with confidence that month, and the rush of being recently single made things just so wonderfully easy. Great outings, great laughs, overall greatness. Then I "closed" towards the end of the month. The sex was absolutely terrific. And then once again. And then nothing.... We've hung out outside of work only once since then (I've since had to transfer elsewhere in the city). I'm lingering at the edge of the friendzone, quite possibly inside its borders, but I am reasonably confident from the vibes I get, largely through our texts, that I didn't book myself a one-way ticket.

    Here we are in January. For some reason, she's still stoked on hanging out, and she mentions all these little plans we've made without me having to prompt her. She's coming to see me with her best friend on friday, and has alluded to us spending time together apart from that on another occasion. This is wonderful, right? I need time to rekindle that spark, and will gladly leap at the opportunity. My question to any onlookers and experts is, well, how does one say "yes" over text, without coming across as needy, over-zealous, etc. In other words, I need to give off "yeah, I think I'd like that", and not "ah hells yeah, this is the greatest day of my life".

    I will provide (with obvious protection of identities) a brief sample of the last text interaction we had.

    (keep in mind we already have something set up--albeit with her best friend in tow--on friday. but we havent been alone in ages. yet i know the door isn't closed.)

    her- ".... I'm stoked on friday! we should hang out soon too, hey?"
    me - "I agree. hanging out would be nice. I have specifically craving XXXX. Food for thought. Night, XXXX.

    In the third sentence, I alluded to a classy, hip restaurant in the city that we've made loose plans to go to. perhaps i shouldnt have thrown in the pun? sh1t, i dunno. when i wished her goodnight, I used a shortened version of her real name that, so far as i can tell, only I call her.

    Please offer some critiques on my reply. I wasn't about to engage in some epic texting conversation--- though I haven't purchased the Magnetic Messaging stuff, I know that's often a pointless road to becoming just some lame text-buddy. Besides, we had a pretty good connection in the preceding texts. Anyway, I'm eager to hear your collective two cents.

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Almost there.

    dude I need to stress this, you don't need to buy guides that are good, read the two guides stickied on the forums, they're enough and if they're not read other threads, stuff that you think you'll encounter or might need one day - I put up a FAQ of why doesn't she replied, I get that you're new and it's awesome to be in this forum and I agree, it is

    welcome (y)

    do us a favouri and put the entire last text from her and you, omit the names and place if you want or make it up, either is fine, it's hard to critique your response without seeing it

  3. #3
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Almost there.

    You got the right idea.

    Personally, I think your response to her asking you out looks fine. I don't think you come off as needy/desperate. That pun is not bad. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

    You already went out several times and attraction was developed in-person and that is what really matters.

    Some other variations is you can go as far as mirroring her response. You can keep it interesting and fun.

    her- ".... I'm stoked on friday! we should hang out soon too, hey?"
    you - "TGIF! Stomach's itching for pasta! xxx restaurant @8:13. We can tour Italy."

    So she is excited it's Friday, you are excited it's Friday. Not necessarily excited to hook up with her.

    Looking weak would be along the lines of:
    her- ".... I'm stoked on friday! we should hang out soon too, hey?"
    you - "Hey! Yea totally. When?"
    her - "How about Saturday?"
    you - "Sounds good."
    (which implies you are willing to work around her time)

    The last thing you want is to leave any notion that you cannot enjoy your time without her company.


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