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  • 1 Post By hyp
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Thread: Unsure of status in HB's mind

  1. #1
    qsc176 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Unsure of status in HB's mind

    I'm having trouble knowing where I stand and how to carry on with an HB I asked out some weeks ago. Everything that happened is posted here, since I'm not really sure what information is necessary.

    I approached HB after class (I'm in high school) on the last day before break, Friday. I was halfway through asking her out when my cold acted up and my voice caught in my throat, and I went AFC from there. She smiled when I stumbled over myself, then asked me if I was trying to ask her to the movies (against my better judgement, I let a friend convince me that the movies were a good idea). I told her that I was, grinning at my own AFC-ness. She told me that she was really sorry, that she couldn't go because of a family trip. She suggested we try next week, and I agreed. I was about to leave when she asked if i wanted her number. Grinning again at myself, I took her number and left.

    I texted her Monday whether or not she could hang out Tuesday or Wednesday. She texted back and replied that she'd still be away.

    Thursday evening, after discovering that a my plans for the night had gone to shambles, I asked her if she could go to the movies later that night. She texted back "Aww im sry im in SF right now. I would if I were in town " I told her not to worry about it. (I didn't want to tease her or joke too much, since she's a little more quiet and sweet than she is flirtatious.

    I left the next day on my own trip to see family in SoCal. A few days passed, and a friend of hers that I was texting told me that HB would be in SoCal with her as well. I texted HB that if she needed a break from her break (they were at Disneyland for a while) that I'd be willing to borrow my family's car and go to see a movie with her. She responded that she was with friends so she didn't know how it would work out.

    A few days later, I came home and tried to make plans with her for a New Year's nigh out. (I ditched the movie idea by this point) She replied that she probably had to go to some party. I thought that you know, I could have been invited to said party, but I didn't say anything to her about it.

    Up until this point, we'd maintained near radio silence besides the above texts to her, since we were in the thick of Christmas, families, and homework. but we started texting and a few days after New Year's Day, she asked how my New Year's had been. I told her, truthfully, that I saw the old year out with a piece of chocolate and a blanket, then went to bed, and was glad for the break in the action of the holidays. I asked her how hers was and she replied "It was fine."

    A few days later I sent her a text like a gameshow where the contestant picks one of three doors and called it the "Weekly-Qsc176-Asks-HB-Out-Show!" She responded that she was very sorry and felt very bad but was on another family trip and wasn't blowing me off on purpose.

    A week or so later we came back to school and during the course of one of our first days back I asked if she could go out Friday. I wasn't specific as to what we'd be doing, since I didn't think she'd say she could. Sure enough, she said that she couldn't. I didn't let it show, but I was a little frustrated and asked if the next friday would work. Taken back a little (for whatever reason), she answered that she could. As luck would have it, unforseen circumstances forced me to cancel the Friday.

    We've been texting small talk, semi-flirtatious stuff since, although lately her replies have gotten short enough that I couldn't continue the conversation, due to fear of dlv and appearing needy by answering two-word texts. ("Haha k" and the like.)

    I've been inadvertently Freezing Her Out by not making contact during school, due to schoolwork problems.

    Is it Alpha to be the one who always starts conversations?

    I don't know my status or how to carry on.
    Thanks!

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Unsure of status in HB's mind

    Is it Alpha to be the one who always starts conversations?
    there is nothing beta about starting conversations as long as you aren't being needy, or downright annoying

  3. #3
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Unsure of status in HB's mind

    riffing on the needy part you've asked her from what I can see atleast four to five times, when has she asked you if you wanted to do something? i mean according to her she's always with someone...take a step back and keep Freezing Her Out, maybe she's not comfy with just the two of you going out and would prefer a group outing as a first, and then second try solo but I wouldn't be inclined to ask her out any time soon

  4. #4
    KhaoZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unsure of status in HB's mind

    I have to agree with hyp, imo you asked her way too many times to go out with you, you are being too available for her.
    Just leave it for a while and try to dhv and escalate when the time is right.
    Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.


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