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  1. #1
    jamesvincent is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need Help ASAP Fellas

    I have no problem getting females but am just having a little trouble with this one. Mainly the scenario. Please help with some details. Thanks a lot fellas.

    So I had a girlfriend of 4 years and we just broke up a month ago. Now I am trying to pick up my hair dresser who has been doing my hair for atleast 3 years. Now my ex girlfriend also gets her hair done by her. Every time I go into my hairdresser she flirts a little. I flirt back but she knows I had a girlfriend. Now that we are done I want to take my hairdresser out. Our last conversation in her shop was about how much of a psycho my x girlfriend was. So I have been texting her since then. The conversation went like this:

    Me: How was your night last night at the XXX (the bar she went to)
    Hairdresser: Night was good, but only when my friends in town. How was yours
    Me: It was great I went to the city and ended up spending way to much money
    Hairdresser: Yea so expensive how much money did you spend
    Me: Id rather not say $12 for a freakin whiskey and coke that ridiculous
    Hairdresser: Oh thats cheap
    Me: What? cheap, I am not a cheap person at all I love to pamper myself and my family but drinking like that every weekend could get expensive
    Hairdresser: haha yes its a lot
    Me: So what days are you off I feel like you work a lot?
    Hairdresser: Sundays!
    Me: Dang thats it? We both must we workaholics
    Hairdresser: Yeah probablly. But I like money.
    Me: Yes me to. One day when you are free I would love to take you out.
    Hairdresser: Yeah for sure
    Me: Tomorrow?
    Hairdresser: Tomorrow is no good. Mabye next week. Work is really busy this week.
    Me:No problem. Monday or Weds next week we will go to this mexican spot I like, get some margaritas and relax a little bit.
    Hairdresser: Sounds good

    Didnt text back her for a whole day hoping she would initiate a conversation.

    That next day I texted her a youtube video of a song she likes and she said HAHA Awesome .


    Now considering my situation I feel like she wants to be friends only. But I do not want to be friends with her and do not want to enter the friend zone. I haven't texted her in 2 days and am waiting for a text but nothing so far. She just got out of a seriously relationship about 4 months ago and now I am single and she knows it. What do you think I should do. Just continue ignoring her or send her more texts and get into conversation? Any recommendations for texts I should send her? My buddy said to call her.

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Help ASAP Fellas

    From a PUA's technical POV, lots of mistakes. First, that whole interaction doesn't spark emotion in the least. If you think about it, it's just friendly banter she can get with another friend.

    Her responses look short. Never a good sign, which usually goes to prove that she is not invested. She seems to be responding out of the obligatory politeness/friendliness. So don't confuse responses as attraction.

    There is no teasing, no playfulness and sexual escalation. No connection. You see, when you are being playful with her, it causes a woman to drop her guards making her susceptible to sexual escalation.

    Don't expect a girl to suddenly start thinking about you in the middle of her daily errands/work and initiate conversation unless she is really interested in you. Having said that, you will need to be the one intiating.

    And when you do, you need to come up with more original texts rather than "How was your night?"

    "bedroom eyes, luscious lips, a great smile, a fit body, so hot!...But enough about me. What kind of trouble you causing?"
    OR
    "Holy crap. Last night I got jumped by 3 cougars old enough to be my mom! No they sabretooths! Anyways, how was your night at XXX"

    T-Mal's texting guide has some good pointers.

    Me: Yes me to. One day when you are free I would love to take you out.
    Hairdresser: Yeah for sure (This doesnt' sound like she is invested. Just a polite response.)
    Me: Tomorrow?

    You need to demonstrate higher value on your time. You need to make it look like you are fitting her into your schedule. Here you come off as you are working around her schedule. If you do that, a girl will not place value on your time and you open yourself up to flaking.

    Just pick a day and make a statement rather than asking her a question and giving her a way out.

    "Well I'm going to do you a favor and save you from being a workholic for day. So Saturday night. 9:33 @ [x bar] Margaritas mamacita."

    So she couldn't make it.

    Rather than suggesting dates, you should've demonstrated higher value on your time by saying which dates you are busy and get her to suggest an alternative date. Don't make the mistake alot of guys make saying "When's good for you?" or "How about X day"

    Hairdresser: Tomorrow is no good. Mabye next week. Work is really busy this week.
    You: "Next week is fine. FYI I got some important things, social gatherings, yadayada, going down on Tuesday and Thursday next week. So I'm out T & T."

    If you don't want to be in the friendszone you need to start teasing her and escalate sexually. If you can get her out then make sure you don't get comfortable in rapport and start sexually escalating. But I start practicing in the texts.

  3. #3
    jamesvincent is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Help ASAP Fellas

    Those are very good suggestions. But ebery single text i have seem on this forum comes pff either a little creepy or to submisive. Any suggestions for some good texts that are not to creepy and just flirtu and nice. Overall great advice

  4. #4
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Help ASAP Fellas

    Well it really depends on what you think is creepy. If you can give examples that will be great. The pointers in T-Mal's guide is definitely not creepy. It's playful and fun. That is the key word.

    Long time ago, I use to think that keen wit, cocky humor, sarcastic high brow humor is what a guy needs to make a woman laugh, but it's not the case. It doesn't create an attractive vibe. Also humor is subjective. The girl might not just get it. Fun is not subjective.

    There is a term called "Getting her back to the playground." Fun playful conversation to bring her back to that state of mind where she can let down her guards and let her inner girl out. You can use this same application on dates to provide the foundation for sexual escalation.

    So things can be exaggerated, silly, even absurd. Find the romantic comedy in your environment. The most effective is the whole partner in crime vibe. That whole me and you against the world. A good example is Jim & Pam's interaction on s2 and s3 of "The Office"

    Some playful texts I've used in the past are usually multiliners:
    ME: Chocolate or Vanilla?
    HER: Chocolate.
    ME: Awesome! That's it, I'm making you my text messaging girlfriend on [Day of the Week]
    HER: (some response)
    ME: Keep in mind, I have ten text messaging girlfriends. You're number 6.
    HER: (She might ask you why number six)
    ME: Well, we can work you up to top 5. So tell me number 6, what 3 qualities do you have? (qualifying her in a playful manner)
    HER: Blah, blah, blah
    ME: Well you officially cracked top 5. You're doing well.

    ME: Hey do you think [HER NAME] is a nice name for a baby girl?
    HER: (usually they have a shocking response like LOL what???)
    ME: Yea, I'm stumped. I need a gal's opinion.
    HER: (usually women will be helpful)
    ME: So, what do you think about [HER NAME] a nice name for a baby girl?
    HER: (usually she will say she likes it)
    ME: Oh okay cool! Cuz I just got a girl pregnant.
    HER: (she might laugh or say bullsh1t or actually believe it if she is the gullible type) If she thinks you are full of sh1t.
    ME: What you don't believe me? Fine, I won't name her [HER NAME] then.
    or if she is gullible.
    HER: Omg, you actually believed it? You're so cute and gullible. I love it!

    (Field tested: I have used this to great effect on girls who are not text fiends.)

    One-liners

    ME: Weekends here! Finally time to smoke some weed, steal some cars, get busted on a few counts of racketeering, and maybe bake some Gingerbread cookies. What you got cookin?

    ME: I just heard this girl calling my friend "a random creeper" Can you translate this in womanese for me?

    Places where you could've inserted it in your examples, rather than falling in "interview mode"

    Her: It was great I went to the city and ended up spending way to much money.
    You: I got the perfect cure for that. (Cliffhanger)
    Her: What's that?
    You: Strong drinks with hot guys named [YOUR NAME]

  5. #5
    Zeeman646 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need Help ASAP Fellas

    ME: Weekends here! Finally time to smoke some weed, steal some cars, get busted on a few counts of racketeering, and maybe bake some Gingerbread cookies. What you got cookin?

    Absolutely love this one! Adding it to my texting arsenal if you don't mind.

  6. #6
    jamesvincent is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need Help ASAP Fellas

    That first one liner is perfect. I still feel like some of them are a little weird and creepy. I will defiantly hang out to the cliffhanger ideas though. Thanks for the advice once again.

    Girl update!

    So I didn't initiate conversation for two days straight and hoped she would text me but nope. So after the two days went by I called her this morning and no answer. FUCKK!! This could mean one thing. She is not interested. Kinda sucks cause I really wanted her cause she was a cool girl and gorgeous. Any suggestions on how to get back in the game if she doesnt text or call me back or should I just take the loss?

  7. #7
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Help ASAP Fellas

    Again, where you erred is second guessing everything as coming off as creepy. To even understand the principle of making small talk sexy and conversation escalation, you need to get use to the principle of impudence.

    Impudence meaning lacking modesty, be a little bold, a splash of shamelesslessness, being a bit mischievous in your manner. Enough to make her say "Did he just say that?" to break her out of the mold. It's not knowing your place. Showing too much familiarity to soon. Most guys play it too safe and they come off as strangers...and creepy themselves. A guy who shows impudence is comfortable with himself and cares not what others think.

    It's how you say it. In conversation, if you talk to a girl, you can't look her in the eye and have a expressionless face, that is more creepy than any line you can say. Also if you keep second guessing that everything is creepy, then it will be creepy because you are thinking it in your mind. You heard of the saying "Where you head goes your body follows." Well same is true, "Where your mind is your words, actions, behavior" will follow. You just need that alpha mentality of being unapologetic and stop worrying how others perceive you.

    Bear in mind that most of these lines are published by well known pickup artists with over half coming out of an ebook called "99 best texts of all time."

    As for calling her and her not picking up. There could be various factors.

    That's why I always send what's called a 'ping' text.

    An example of a 'ping' text is :
    ME: "Hey you neve rbelieve what just happened today..."
    HER: "What?"
    Wait 5 minutes and call.

    ME: "Do you have a twin sister?"
    HER: "No?"
    Wait 5 minutes and call.
    ME: "Hey that was so weird. I just saw a picture of a woman who looks just like you on the internet, except she was blonde. Anyways..."

    I would just do a freezeout and re-evaluate the texts you are sending. Because based on your above examples, you were playing it too safe, worried about how you will look (and that's not alpha).

    Another mistake I caught was you sending a video of a song? To what purpose is that to serve? Look at the difference between these two case study texts:

    A. I just heard a Rhianna song and remembered you saying you liked her. (BAD)
    B. It's shark week...made me think of you. (GOOD)

    The first is bad because it's an obvious ploy for attention. Sending her a youtube video of a song she likes is exactly the same thing. If you know she likes a certain song, you hoped that by referencing her interest in some form, she'll validate you with a response. That message you sent secretely expected a response. That right there is a red flag for neediness.

    Wherease the second example is completely random, out there. And since it's so random, doesnt beg for a response. It simply throws out humor and gives her the choice whether to bite.

    Bottom line is you need to break out of your safe mode. When you are dealing with gorgeous HBs who get hit up on all the time, you need to stand out. The themes of curiosity, impudence, and humor are the keys.

    Any high ranking PUA poster like BatMan and many others will tell you the same thing. If this girl was gorgeous, chances are she lost interest because the texting conversation is not competitive. Chances are you are not the only guy she is getting a text from. Upping your standards in hot women will also mean you have to up your game.

    Here some some verbatim copied post from Bill Preston that is applicable to your texts from 7 texting mistakes.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    From Bill Preston newsletter:

    Mistake #2: Not Conveying "Fun"

    Here is the simple truth. When a woman gives you
    her number she is NOT signing a social contract to
    go out with you...

    And until it seems FUN for her... she's probably
    not going to bother meeting up with you.

    So when you send boring texts that don't display
    any personality or don't elicit any emotions in
    her... in her mind you're not worth the trouble of
    meeting up with.

    Here are some signs you're NOT being fun.

    - Am I being stiff and formal "Hi. It was nice
    meeting you Friday".... (too stiff. too formal)

    - Am I putting pressure on her to keep the
    conversation going?

    - Am I badgering her with question?

    Remember, every text you send should make you seem
    like the FUN OPTION. The escape from her boring
    day.

    Mistake #3: Not Having a Texting Style

    If you're texting an attractive woman chances are
    you are NOT the only guy she is getting a text
    from today.

    Hate to break it to you.

    But between other guys pursuing her, ex
    boyfriends, co-workers, classmates, and so on...
    she's got a lot of guys vying for her attention.

    So if you want to stand out- your texts need to
    display your unique style and personality.

    She should be able to know its a text from you
    just by reading it (even if the name was blocked)

    What words, phrases, punctuation, or emoticons are
    uniquely yours?

    Mistake #6: Becoming too "Predictable"

    Lets say that you've now succeeded in getting up a
    date with a girl. You may think you're home free
    when it comes to texting, but there's still some
    things you need to keep in mind to ensure you
    CONTINUE to see your girls.

    First, you never want to fall into predictable
    patterns. Lots of guys use the same jokes, same
    questions, and same texts over and over. While it
    may be easier to fall into 'complacency' with a
    woman you're dating, don't do it!

    Instead, break things up with some spicy ever once
    in a while. Tell her you have a 'surprise' to show
    her later. Tell her something reminded you of her,
    but don't tell her what it is right away. Ask her
    to send you a funny picture of something (or send
    her a funny picture of something).

    Keep her guessing what your text will be and
    you'll keep her interested in you. Moreover,
    keeping the 'spark' of a relationship alive is
    very important when it comes to creating a great
    sex life.

    As long as you don't become ultra predictable, you
    should have your girl texting YOU asking YOU when
    you're available to hang out.


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