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  1. #1
    ReggieBiggs is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    Hey all,

    I am having a bit of a dilemma with this HB I am currently pursuing. A little background info: I have had her over for dinner where I cooked her a an awesome meal (she was impressed for sure as I am a decent cook) and the night eventually led to my bedroom where we fooled around a bit although she seemed stand off-ish towards taking the next step. I took it as LMR so I did the usual "let's just be friends, us together could be a very dangerous combination" she came back full force, but still something was holding her back. She had to frequently use the bathroom every time things would pick up heavy. I found later in my trash can when I went to use the bathroom that there was a tampon wrapper and plastic applicator at the bottom of the bag...I think she was just embarrassed to tell me it was her time of the month, so things weren't as bad as I had thought. we sent texts back and forth for about two days and I tried to set up another meet, but she claimed to be working all week (she's a stripper. my first in fact!) She seemed a bit cold, so I decided to use a Freeze Out for six days or so. I sent her a text today and here's how it went:

    (I have included time stamps on the texts and my take on what she said)

    13:35 Me: "Getting my hair trimmed, listening to this lady b1tch about the blonde hair she asked for, looks like crap when my hair dresser told her it'd be ugly..Face palm?"

    *I thought it was a funny story and used it to start a conversation. Btw she curses like a sailor.

    15:52 HB: "Hahaha. It took me a sec to understand what face palm meant."

    *Maybe it was too convoluted? I figured since I got a warm and affable response that it was going well.

    17:40 Me: "Trimmed and filled with taming chemicals...it's so clean I feel dirty."

    *I included a picture of my hair all done (I usually have a monstrous afro...its just the way my hair grows and It is a part of my personna as a musician as well, so it was fairly shocking for her to see me that way. I thought it was a clever little jest at being a tad flirty. I waited till I got home to send the text since I couldn't prior.

    17:48 HB: "lol"

    *I utterly hate the one word response and thought I was losing her, so I took a risk and shot for a meet set up text.

    17:56 Me: "Time to wash it out! I want to see my purple haired mistress this week. I hear she cooks! "

    *She died her hair purple so that's where that comes from...I may have gone too far with the "mistress" title. She told me she wanted to meet and cook for me a next time a week prior so I took the risk.

    18:08 HB: "No can do. I'll elaborate later"

    18:21 Me: "OoOo k. Story of the year and a pianist who uses his toes...this and more news at 10. lol! See ya"

    *I wrote this to appear unaffected by her decision. It may have been a bit vague, but I was nudging at the fact that she was going to give some excuse. I believe she may have met someone else and I'm ready to pull the plug even though I really like this girl. I wrote a quick 'see ya', as to not text any longer and prepare for another freeze out possibly.

    18:25 HB: "The fark? lol."

    *I figured she just didn't get it, but since she said that she would elaborate later I figured she was busy and had other things to do as did I, so I haven't responded.

    Can I salvage this? Where did I go wrong? Should I do another freeze out or should I respond with an explanatory text? Things were going so well The night I had seen her and the texting seemed good in the beginning, but ended strangely. Need some help from the gurus! Much appreciated.

    Yours truly,

    Reggie Biggs

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    ignore that, she hasn't been exposed to her humour before ( like that type over text )

    just send her "well? :P" or "epic elaboration (y)" -- don't give her anything else

    also I'd brace yourself for bad news

  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    This isn't much my style anymore. I used to figure that sending really cleverly thought out texts made a girl just melt for me. Something I knew that no guy would have thought up. After a while I noticed. That all they had to do was write "lol" or "ok" and I'd write 3-4 sentences of something funny or clever. It was still investment on my part. I was no better than a stand up comedian.

    I then started to focus on building intrigue, timing of texts, and short, but powerful texts. Texting a woman at the right moment "Wow" (like when she says something inappropriate) can be more powerful than any clever line.

    If you want to pull her back then lighten up on the clever stuff. She already feels like you are putting on a show to impress her by showing how clever or funny you are. Which translates to that she knows she has you. Give her some doubt.

    You may think a Freeze Out would affect her, but it is in relation to how often you talk. Me and my gf speak everyday. So when we don't speak for a day...we notice. It feels like a week. If you speak to her once a week then you need to stretch it to two weeks for her to feel it. At least that's my opinion.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    PUA Bart is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    I do not see anything bad yet in your report. Ok, she is not trying to meet you as soon as she can, it means she's not comfortable enough with you yet. She being not comfortable yet, and you already tried to bed her can lead to some kind of LJBF -speech, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are friendzoned. I guess you did not properly value her before trying to bed her, so she perhaps feels you trying to bed her was too fast and unwarranted, which results in her feeling uncomfortable. Wether or not she wants to take it serious, she wants to have the feeling of you bonding with her... by giving her value as a person before giving her sexual value, even mystery touches this briefly in his method telling us something about her being hardwired that way that she wants to feel you will not leave her once you slept with her. You also made the mistake of focussing to hard on your own efforts on earning value to her. Sure you did enough to deserve her to fuark you, but what did she do? What did she do to deserve fuarking you? You have to convey she holds value to you, and she must feel that value is earned for. On a side note, deciding what to eat together, buying the ingredients together and preparing meal together is so much more sensual, fun, erotic and mutual than just you preparing meal for her.

    TBH I just respond looking from where I stand with my experiences and level of game and based on what you told us in your report. And reading your report I feel you focus to hard on trying to give yourself value to her and there was not much emphasis on you seeing her value (and she being a Stripper does NOT count!) she was trying to earn with you. Even more so the latter was completely missing! It's a mutual process, don't forget that.

  5. #5
    ReggieBiggs is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    Thank you for the awesome replies guys.
    @ Hyp: That is a good way to say what I wanted to say in a simple short and direct way. I was waiting for the bad news, but she hasn't said anything yet and is giving me mixed signals.

    @PUA Bart: Thanks man that helped quite a bit in further understanding how to pull great responses from texting.

    I texted her earlier today when I returned home from a little thrift shopping with a friend of mine. Here's how it went:

    18:43 Me: "I'm such a thrift whore"
    attached a photo of three great blazers i got.
    18:57 HB: "Hahaha"
    I decided not to dignify her laughing with a response and waited for her to send another text.
    18:57 HB: "Thrift Whore"

    waited a few minutes

    18:59 Me: "Says the stalker "

    We had been playfully joking about her being a stalker.

    18:59 HB: "Speaking of my stalker skills I must say your looking divine"

    I took this as a good response, but had something to take care of and couldn't text her back right away.

    19:32 Me: "I know I look good nude. You're a peeping jane now too? Full of surprises"

    She hasn't said anything back yet, but maybe that's because i sent my reply a little late. I tried following your advice BatMan in sending shorter responses and not trying to show value through being long and clever in my texting. Maybe I should have responded with the "Wow" at this point?

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    It's hard to tell at this point what's going on. Everything sounded fine to me. If she doesn't respond then maybe you jumped to sexual talk too soon by the nude comment you made. Again it's very difficult to tell and she may have liked that comment. Time will tell.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    ReggieBiggs is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Texting an HB. Almost made it to home base! please help

    Yes I had thought that after I had sent it, but she usually starts work at 8. I will report back. Thanks again for the advice.


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