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  • 1 Post By konman
  • 1 Post By TheDuke

Thread: How to re-engage a girl who has gone cold after 2 messages?

  1. #1
    Haphazard is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to re-engage a girl who has gone cold after 2 messages?

    Convo so far:

    "Hey [HB]! Been a long time hasn't it?
    I caught myself reminiscing about working at [mutual employer from years ago] the other day and you randomly popped into my head lol. How are things going? What've you been up to since I last saw you?"


    "Hey! Haha it has indeed been a while. Oh I haven't thought of that place, I don't live in [City] any longer. Maybe I just popped on your news feed hah?
    Life's good. I'm at Ryerson. One more year to go. You know, living the life. And yourself?"

    "Actually I've been living in [City] the last 4 years while going to school and now that I'm done I'm only just coming back to live in [City] again lol. That's cool that you're almost done at ryerson, does that mean you have your own place downtown? I'd be so jealous if you did :P"
    Not the best convo, but I'm super rusty and it seemed to be going well. My last reply was 9 days ago and FB says she viewed it that same day. Not sure why she got cold all of a sudden. Anyone have any suggestions how to re-engage?

  2. #2
    konman's Avatar
    konman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to re-engage a girl who has gone cold after 2 messages?

    Keep it shorter:

    I've been living in [City] the last 4 years while going to school. Are you living downtown?
    [Yeah I do!]
    Oh look at you, all grown up. I bet you even do your own laundry these days!
    [LOL I do, how did you know?]
    I can smell those lemony fresh shirts from here!

    Don't just keep asking questions after the first one, throw in some random shit. The above is how I try and lead convo's but by no means do you need to copy my style. I'm not perfect.
    I wouldn't let her know how you feel. "I'd be so jealous if you did" adds a beta feel if you ask me. Let me attempt to show why this looks, in my opinion:

    Hey hows it going? I hope its going well!

    Hey what's your middle name? I bet its pretty!

    It kind of looks cheesy and somewhat putting her on a pedestal.

    In a few days try again. Ask her about school, ask her about her new job, ask her anything to get your hooks in and roll with it. Even if you feel like you're failing, use her to brush off the dust and get as much practice in as you can.
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: How to re-engage a girl who has gone cold after 2 messages?

    Quote Originally Posted by konman View Post
    Keep it shorter:

    I've been living in [City] the last 4 years while going to school. Are you living downtown?
    [Yeah I do!]
    Oh look at you, all grown up. I bet you even do your own laundry these days!
    [LOL I do, how did you know?]
    I can smell those lemony fresh shirts from here!

    Don't just keep asking questions after the first one, throw in some random sh1t. The above is how I try and lead convo's but by no means do you need to copy my style. I'm not perfect.
    I wouldn't let her know how you feel. "I'd be so jealous if you did" adds a beta feel if you ask me. Let me attempt to show why this looks, in my opinion:

    Hey hows it going? I hope its going well!

    Hey what's your middle name? I bet its pretty!

    It kind of looks cheesy and somewhat putting her on a pedestal.

    In a few days try again. Ask her about school, ask her about her new job, ask her anything to get your hooks in and roll with it. Even if you feel like you're failing, use her to brush off the dust and get as much practice in as you can.
    This is good advice. The only thing that I want to say is you don't have to wait anymore time. Nine days is plenty and you're free to jump back in right now if you want. Just don't do it tonight, friday and saturday nights are not the nights to do this kind of stuff because it makes it look like you have nothing better to do.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
    konman's Avatar
    konman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to re-engage a girl who has gone cold after 2 messages?

    Wow! Can't believe I overlooked that. Yeah 9 days is plenty. I wouldn't have told you to wait otherwise.

    Like TheDuke mentioned, 9 days is enough and personally I would wait until Sunday to reach out to her, no later.
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  5. #5
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to re-engage a girl who has gone cold after 2 messages?

    9 days is far too excessive, start a new convo with her on a completely unrelated topic to your initial convo, ie get an opinion on something interesting, be fun and tease and set up the meet,

    don't drag it out either


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