Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23
Like Tree3Likes

Thread: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

  1. #1
    Glider001 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 98, Level: 1
    Level completed: 96%, Points required for next Level: 2
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    18
    Points
    98
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Exclamation Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    Hello all!

    I know I'm new to this forums (I've been reading it for quite a while though), but I would appreciate your thoughts on the following.

    I've met a girl about 2 to 3 months ago, and the past months we've been talking a lot. Especially during nighttime (occasionally till 5am), a lot via Facebook chat and texts, but never a call. In December I had dinner with her, her sister and a friend of hers. Two weeks after that I went to the movies with her (1st January). She insisted to pay for the movies, but I payed for the drinks afterwards. We both liked it! No Kino.
    When I asked her to go out again, she happily said yes, but asked me "as friends, right?" I replied with "sure", since I wanted to tell her I have more feelings for her in real life; not via chat/texts. Plus we would go on that 2nd date a few days later, but we didn't go on a second date yet, she has been sick for a week and we both had exams the last 2 weeks. We did study together the morning before an exam, but a friend of hers was there too. We might go play tennis or go swimming this Thursday evening.
    Now, the confusing part (at least for me): She tells me very personal things, like showing me poems her ex-boyfriend of 7 years ago sent her, talking about how she sees her future family and that she wants that soon (so she wants a long-term relationship), and other personal details. She's sometimes initiating texts when I intentionally don't reply immediately. Sends me flower emoticons, heart-kiss emoticons, heart emoticons, calling me sweet/sweety, cuty, kuchi kuchi, wishing me sweet dreams, always wanting to send me the last kiss, and so on.
    This morning she told me she couldn't sleep last night because she was crying over another guy she didn't talk to for over three months, because they didn't have their contact details (except for home address). When I asked her for how long she knew him, she told me for a relatively short time. (OUCH)
    Furthermore, we're Dutch, I'm an atheist, she's a Muslim (but very open minded, she had atheist BFs before).
    If you're familiar with pandora's box: She seems to be an Investor, Denier, and Idealist. She's very caring for her family, but also for me. I tested her to talk about sexual items, but she didn't respond very openly on that. And I would be very surprised if she would be a Tester (but then again, Testers may appear as Investors). I'm just a beginner with Pandora's Box though.

    Long story short, I'm confused. Not sure what to do. I need your help.
    What do you think of it? Please be dead honest, any critics on myself are very appreciated as well.

    Oh and do you think I should ask her how she feels about us? Obviously she will return the question and I'll have to tell her that I would like to see where it goes; as more as friends.
    In the end, I really don't want to lose her; she's one of the best personalities I've ever met.

    Thanks again for taking your time reading this, It's quite a bit..

    Glider

    If something is not clear to you, please say so. English is not my native language.

  2. #2
    Glider001 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 98, Level: 1
    Level completed: 96%, Points required for next Level: 2
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    18
    Points
    98
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    I'm sorry, but I just figured I started this thread in the wrong forum.
    Could any admin/mod please delete it? I'll start a new thread myself in the correct forum.
    Thanks.

  3. #3
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,354, Level: 52
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 196
    Overall activity: 80.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Australia ==> Melbourne
    Posts
    946
    Points
    6,354
    Level
    52
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    309

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    "as friends, right?" I replied with "sure"

    first mistake not being honest, you could've said maybe that's a pretty tough one to deal with considering you don't and I wouldn't have said over text
    but considering you didnt get physical she has every right to fz you

    She tells me very personal things, like showing me poems her ex-boyfriend of 7 years ago sent her, talking about how she sees her future family and that she wants that soon (so she wants a long-term relationship), and other personal details.
    sounds like she's friend zoned you

    She's sometimes initiating texts when I intentionally don't reply immediately. Sends me flower emoticons, heart-kiss emoticons,
    she's being nice so she can keep you around cause your a good person


    This morning she told me she couldn't sleep last night because she was crying over another guy she didn't talk to for over three months, because they didn't have their contact details (except for home address)
    yeah friendzone

    NDI

    shes not open to talking about sex or she's been abused in the past?

    as for the tester part, do you have her facebook? you can easily check if she has 9999 guys posting / talking to her on her wall, though given what you described of her she sounds N [ J / D ] I, not convinced on denier yet


    --

    before getting to the stage where you talk about you two ( dont even bother talking about it to her), get physical - YES Kino what's the point of not getting physical with a chick unless you're looking for chick friends? i don't understand

    anyway use the search button, read up on kino, being alpha (alot of threads on it) and take charge, don't be needy, flirt flirt and flirt

    stop idolising her and relax more, then she'll be more responsive

  4. #4
    KhaoZ's Avatar
    KhaoZ is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 126, Level: 2
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 10.6%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    17
    Points
    126
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    "I really don't want to lose her" here is your problem, enough said.
    Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

  5. #5
    Glider001 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 98, Level: 1
    Level completed: 96%, Points required for next Level: 2
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    18
    Points
    98
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    Thanks for the reply.
    Yeah I thought I had been acting into the wrong direction; exactly why I came here for advise.

    I've been too scared to really initiate anything and lose her. (I've had some bad experiences in the past with a girl, screwed up our relationship big time, and not just that.)

    She doesn't have a lot of guys posting and talking on her wall, the majoraty is girls.
    I wasn't sure about the J/D either, any suggestions how to find out? The Sex line is the most important..

    before getting to the stage where you talk about you two ( dont even bother talking about it to her), get physical - YES Kino what's the point of not getting physical with a chick unless you're looking for chick friends? i don't understand
    Thanks. I was really in doubt on this one. But you're definitely right.
    I'll digest the nesseccary threads on what you suggested.

    It's just she's the best thing that happend to me in a (really) long time.

    Any suggestions how I should act when she brings up those personal things again? I want to be there for her, but it's just so obviously friendzone material.

    Thanks again, appreciate it.

  6. #6
    KhaoZ's Avatar
    KhaoZ is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 126, Level: 2
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 10.6%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    17
    Points
    126
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    You asked us to be honest so this is what I really think, I think that you have a bad one-itis and the only way to overcome it is to improve your pickup skills with other girls meanwhile keep on contact with this one, after few dates with other girls you might even understand this one isn't so good as you think or if you are still intrested in her afterwards you will have better tools and less needy feeling while adressing her.
    Good luck mate, go big or go home, thats how I roll.
    Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

  7. #7
    Glider001 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 98, Level: 1
    Level completed: 96%, Points required for next Level: 2
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    18
    Points
    98
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    Thanks KhaoZ, appreciate you speak your thoughts.

    What do you mean with "I think you have a bad one"?
    I think I definitely need to improve my skills, as you suggested. They have never been the best, to be honest, neither have I been an Alpha Male (I am good at leading professional people though). I almost always end up friendzoning myself.

    On a side note, we live a 3 hour travel apart. I'm on internship and she's going to university (studying psychology). We both don't have much time, and only during the evenings.
    She actually canceled our date/meetup this thursday because she's at university till late. (I suggested to play tennis or go swimming, we both love to do that)

    I'm really eager to plan another meetup, but don't want to seem needy. In the past three I've only seen her for like 45 minutes..
    What do you suggest?

    PS. She just texted me she's got an interesting class: Sexuality and Intimicy. Now what? Got any concrete suggestions? ...
    I'm at work right now so I can wait for a bit to respond.

    I might seem like a clueless to you, I am..
    Any specific threads / items you suggest me reading? I need to get my facts straight.

  8. #8
    KhaoZ's Avatar
    KhaoZ is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 126, Level: 2
    Level completed: 52%, Points required for next Level: 24
    Overall activity: 10.6%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    17
    Points
    126
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    Try using the triangle technique here it might help you get out of the friend zone: puaforums.com/how-seduce-girl/13348-getting-out-friendzone-using-triangles-your-advantage.html
    I meant you have a syndrom called ONE-ITIS it happens alot while you are an AFC, it means that you are locked in to one girl that isn`t even your gf and dont really deserve it. There are alot of threads on how to get over ONE-ITIS the best way in my opinion is just to go out and meet new women.
    If I was you I would text her something cocky funny in respond, a really good read about texting you can find here: puaforums.com/how-text-girl/5607-gunsnglorys-ultimate-texting-guide.html and also here: puaforums.com/how-text-girl/13034-texting-dos-donts-conversational-bible.html[/url]. gl buddy you sound like a really good person, this community is made just for people like you.
    Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

  9. #9
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,354, Level: 52
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 196
    Overall activity: 80.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Australia ==> Melbourne
    Posts
    946
    Points
    6,354
    Level
    52
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    309

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    i agree with khaoz's advice (y)

    as for your response (if you haven't replied) "it's going to take alot more than that to get in my pants " would suffice

  10. #10
    Glider001 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 98, Level: 1
    Level completed: 96%, Points required for next Level: 2
    Overall activity: 25.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    18
    Points
    98
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Getting mixed signals, it's confusing me

    Thanks, I'll definitely have a look at those articles.

    Do you explicitly suggest I should go out meet new women, or are old acquaintances fine as well? I know this girl from sports a couple of years ago.

    I did already text her, something teasy on which she replied well.

    I am a good person, that's one thing I know for sure. Being too nice is my problem. I putt them first and me second. According to all the articles I should putt myself first; I'm the prize. I'll try my best to change that.

    Another question: Since she (probably) sees us as friends, should I wait telling her what I feel untill she develops some other feelings, too? And thus not ask about what she feels about us either.
    And once I feel like I'm ready for the next step, tell her I first saw the two of us as friends, but as time passed by I saw more in her? Or should I be honest and tell her I felt something for her from the 1st date on?

    Thanks again.
    Do you guys mind that if I have a question that I approach you?


Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. confusing signals, iois then doesnt follow thru
    By jackstraw98 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 12-12-2012, 05:01 PM
  2. I need with some mixed signals
    By mahbellini in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 10-22-2011, 01:31 AM
  3. Getting mixed super mixed signals.
    By TheInspector in forum General Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 09-11-2011, 03:05 PM
  4. Mixed signals... What would you do?
    By monstermind in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 06-16-2011, 10:40 PM
  5. Texting HB9, But Getting Mixed Signals
    By Sterling in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 05-03-2011, 07:30 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com