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Thread: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

  1. #1
    You_Said_So is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    Hi,

    This girl is driving me crazy. I really want to date her. If it was just someone else it wouldn't matter.

    So, met this girl, Number Close. We exchanged texts likes normal little flirting, I always initiated. Now after initiating 4-5 times, I always received detailed response. Never one word or even one line for that matter.

    So I thought this time I will wait for her to text me first. Its been a week and no initiation from her side? What do I do? How long shall I wait to contact her again?

    Thx

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    look man, as the "guy" in the relationship, it is your duty! to initiate every advancement in a relationship. if you want her, you have to initiate your conversations. wemon seldomly initiate conversations with guys (hints why its a big ioi if a girl opens you) they have come to expect us to take the lead in initiating everything. essentialy as the male your duty is to do most of the work in a relationship. you have to initiate most conversations, setup most dates, and make any and every advancement towards sex. don't get mewrong, its not a bad thing that you have to initiate, as a matter of fact this is what gives you most of the power in a relationship. your the one who gets to chose how and when anything (the two of you do) will be.

    so take some initiative and text her asap. ask her out for a date.
    go get her tiger!
    good luck
    METEORA

  3. #3
    You_Said_So is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    One of the advice which I read everywhere was never to always initiate. It will make you look needy. Good post METEORA but I am confused.

  4. #4
    hyp
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    why don't you just have a conversation over text, and then not cut ties off so you have to reinitiate? ie don't be like "gotta go bye" but rather "you're a jerk " which probably leads to "how rude / why" and then it goes off on a tangent

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    One of the advice which I read everywhere was never to always initiate. It will make you look needy. Good post METEORA but I am confused.
    you can't take every peice of advice you get, you alone decide what is right and what isn't.
    imo initiating is very alpha, and i have never had a girl complain about me taking initiative. that being said, initiating too much (ie talking to her everyday clinging to her every word) will be seen as needy. you need a good balance.

    one of the number one complaints the guys i teach get from girls is actually that the girls think they aren't taking enough initiative.

    my advice would be to initiate every couple days (wait 2-5 days between meetups/texting convo's) for a girl your pursuing, there is nothing needy about taking initiative and setting up dates. however if a girl flakes on you multiple times and you keep initiating it will be seen as needy and annoying.

    you have to take initiative in order to succeed. if you don't take the initiative who will? girls don't just ask guys out. you have to be the one to initiate everything and you have to be alpha about it.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    I really like your input on this one Meteora. It's different from what I have learned about texting game so far, and it does make more sense to do. I'll give it a go next time I'm at it. Thanks!
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    Quote Originally Posted by You_Said_So View Post
    One of the advice which I read everywhere was never to always initiate. It will make you look needy. Good post METEORA but I am confused.

    I can see how both work and it probably depends on the girl for which works best. I do find I am usually "re-initiating" each day, but I change up the time. Sometimes it won't be until late afternoon. Now part of that too is b/c I was trying to give her time to open so I wasn't always the one.

  8. #8
    Starkiller is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    you can't take every peice of advice you get, you alone decide what is right and what isn't.
    I agree with Meteora here. A lot of the advice you can receive is contradictory, and trying to follow everything leaves you in shambles. People give advice based on what works of them, it's not always gonna work for others too.

    In terms of what I recommend, it's gonna sound really familiar. Take the initiative, text her, go from there. In regards to your situation, I had a similar one earlier today. Used to talk to a girl, and it stopped. Not from me wanting her to initiate, just from me not texting her anymore. Text her today, after 2-3 months of silence. It was comfort building stuff mostly, a little bit of hinting at future plans but that's it. Towards the end I suggest she joins some friends and I for dinner Tuesday. It's not a date, but something I'm more than happy with. It's easily escalate-able.

    Which brings me to part two. I'm assuming it's been a couple weeks, have you thought about meeting her in person again? Personally, I'm more comfortable in person, and so my text game revolves around that. In my opinion, texting's great and all but there's no substitute for a solid date
    Best of luck mate
    ~MM

  9. #9
    You_Said_So is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Replies fine, but doesn't initiate. Help

    You are right Starkiller, there is nothing like a date. However, this can't be arranged right now. I am in a different city on temporary basis and it will be like this for couple of more months. She knows it, so I just want to keep our initial attraction alive until I get back.

    Meteora, thanks you post has motivated me to initiate again.


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