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Thread: Text too needy tryhard?

  1. #1
    theory8 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Text too needy tryhard?

    Hey, need your opinion on a text because my friends thought it was too tryhard/needy and scared the target away...

    girl in social circle, we made plans Thursday in person to meet and get mojitos, I told her to find a good recipe so we could make it.

    around noon Saturday, I text her:

    "Tonight. Mojitos on the beach, fancy, candles. Bring recipe, we have some shopping to do."

    and she replies a minute later: "Hey, I completely forgot that I made plans with my cohort already, can I take a rain check? "

    which is a total flake... but thats besides the point. I showed the text to two friends and they thought it was super creepy/tryhard and scared her away. even though my personality is super sarcastic and I joke around with everyone, I didn't actually think it would be taken seriously... considering I wrote "beach" and its februrary and we are nowhere near a beach.

    if I text something next week like: "Lets take that raincheck this weekend. No fancy though, downgraded to happy meals at McDs" will that work?

    cheers

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default The Road Not Yet Taken

    Looking at this, I can see three possible options for you:

    #1. Go with the happy meal message and go with a time on her terms.

    #2. Tell her no, that you're busy then, and then choose to re-establish or cancel the plans on your own terms.

    #3. Do not respond.

    Out of the three, I would go with do not respond. This clearly shows that you are ticked off that she over-scheduled on you, and that you are not willing to tolerate her garbage for any reason whatsoever. She will feel like she wronged you, and then she will respond with an apology and attempt to beg for your forgiveness. There is always the possibility though that she doesn't respond. In that case, just move on.

    It is entirely up to you though. Just make the decision that you feel will be best for this situation.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Text too needy tryhard?

    #4 take the raincheck but get her to do all the shopping
    OR take the raincheck and give her extra work for bailing initially

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Text too needy tryhard?

    It doesn't look needy or creepy to me. Only because of the rejection does it make it look bad. If she said yes then your friends would've thought you were the master!

    But that is the risk of telling her what to do when it comes to plans. It's great because you are taking the lead and not asking "what do you want to do?" On the other hand it looks really bad when she rejects.

    I think your follow up message is fine. But no more after that. She has to make the effort. You may even want to explicitly tell her that you aren't going to try anymore or that she needs to make more effort. Follow your gut and do what you think will work.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    kitkityeah is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text too needy tryhard?

    3 bud. Just move on. If she over schedule you, then that's it

  6. #6
    bookofheelai is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Text too needy tryhard?

    Haha, tbh i wouldn't mind giving one more shot with her, but if she pulls that crap again. Its done.

  7. #7
    dvjackson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text too needy tryhard?

    I wouldn't downgrade all the way to McDonalds, if she thought you were serious about the beach she might think you were serious about that too, lol

  8. #8
    Slater is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Text too needy tryhard?

    I usually prefer the direct approach with people in general. If it's the first time this has happened then it's quite possible she really did just forget she had made other plans. Be reasonable. I would play it cool and say something like "No worries, let me know when you have some free time." If she doesn't get back to you, then you have your answer. If she does, then reschedule. Simple.


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