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Thread: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

  1. #1
    CripsMcgee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Yo, so I've been using okcupid for a little over a month now and every girl I've chatted with became really interested in me. But whenever I try to transition out from snail mail on the site I keep getting similar messages from girls. Here's one from a girl I have particular interest in:

    "Hey sorry I haven't responded. I've been online, but I really haven't been responding to anyone. And yeah I guess we can text, but as friends. I want to let you know that before I give you my number so you don't waste your time with me trying to get something else. I hope you don't think I'm being mean.I just want to be honest with you so you don't waste your time with me. You're a nice guy and I don't want to do that to you."

    I'm just at a crossroad now, I don't know if I should go along or just move on to the next girl. I froze her out for now, but I want to try something. Can anyone suggest a next form of action?

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Context

    I'm not really sure what is going on here. You haven't told anyone what kind of messages you are sending yet, so I'm not sure what in the world you did to get the "Let's be Friends" speech on a dating website.

    Give more details, and then I'll know how to help you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    Vecen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Would you mind posting a link to your profile?
    "My enemies are advanced, bold, intelligent and powerful. But I am evolved"
    -Kerrigan

  4. #4
    CripsMcgee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Ha ha ha you're right, but the whole conversation was a hundred messages long so I won't copy and paste them all on here. So I opened with the "M&Ms, Skittles, or Strawberries" bit, the went through the routine poking fun at her amusement of Chuck Norris jokes. We then messaged back and forth for a couple of days, played the would you rather game movies came up as a topic, this is where I tried to transition out of the whole snail mail:

    Me: Lol. You probably loved Pulp Fiction then, plus that Django movie seems pretty good too (haven't seen it yet)! Hey, I know you might be hesitant and I understand because I'm not to thrilled about giving my number to just anyone but here let me give you my number #####. I'm a really personable guy and getting to know someone is hard through just snail mail, if you're interested shoot me a text!

    P.S. It's almost 1 am and I still have a lot of crap to wrap up! 0_0

    Her: Yeah I love Pulp fiction! And the django movie was good too. And well I don't know you well enough to start texting you. How about we keep talking here as friends first. And plus its nothing personal but I have to be cautious on the internet.

    Me: Glad to see we moved on from internet strangers to internet friends. I was starting to think I was on the only overly cautious person on the internet, but looks like you share the same idea.For all I know you could be a crazed middle-aged woman trying to bring young guys to her house and watch after her many turtles! 0_0

    Then we chatted for three weeks, she gave out IOIs like asking where I work, telling me that I'm kind, funny, and interesting. She lol'ed and used smileys a lot when she wrote. Then I tried to get her out of the site once again:

    Me: Hey Abigale, I thought of a fantastic idea! Let's start texting each other! I know you might be a little shy, but I know you like goofing off and joking around (plus deep down you know you want to!). You know you want to laugh at different points in the day! :P

    that's when I got the whole "let's just be friends" lecture.

  5. #5
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Quote Originally Posted by CripsMcgee View Post
    Ha ha ha you're right, but the whole conversation was a hundred messages long so I won't copy and paste them all on here. So I opened with the "M&Ms, Skittles, or Strawberries" bit, the went through the routine poking fun at her amusement of Chuck Norris jokes. We then messaged back and forth for a couple of days, played the would you rather game movies came up as a topic, this is where I tried to transition out of the whole snail mail:

    Me: Lol. You probably loved Pulp Fiction then, plus that Django movie seems pretty good too (haven't seen it yet)! Hey, I know you might be hesitant and I understand because I'm not to thrilled about giving my number to just anyone but here let me give you my number #####. I'm a really personable guy and getting to know someone is hard through just snail mail, if you're interested shoot me a text!

    P.S. It's almost 1 am and I still have a lot of crap to wrap up! 0_0

    Her: Yeah I love Pulp fiction! And the django movie was good too. And well I don't know you well enough to start texting you. How about we keep talking here as friends first. And plus its nothing personal but I have to be cautious on the internet.

    Me: Glad to see we moved on from internet strangers to internet friends. I was starting to think I was on the only overly cautious person on the internet, but looks like you share the same idea.For all I know you could be a crazed middle-aged woman trying to bring young guys to her house and watch after her many turtles! 0_0

    Then we chatted for three weeks, she gave out IOIs like asking where I work, telling me that I'm kind, funny, and interesting. She lol'ed and used smileys a lot when she wrote. Then I tried to get her out of the site once again:

    Me: Hey Abigale, I thought of a fantastic idea! Let's start texting each other! I know you might be a little shy, but I know you like goofing off and joking around (plus deep down you know you want to!). You know you want to laugh at different points in the day! :P

    that's when I got the whole "let's just be friends" lecture.
    Holy sh1t, three weeks?! I mean, I'm not trying to be a dick but how what the hell do you even discuss for three weeks on POF? Sh1111t. Have you ever heard of "Be the bait"? If not, part of the idea behind all this is you develop self-worth and make women chase you instead of you chasing them. I know you're wondering how this relates to what you asked so I'll get to the point...with online dating you should NEVER be talking to a girl for that long. She either likes you enough to give you her number or she doesn't and she'll make this determination very quickly, mostly based on your profile and your pictures. I'd say an absolute MAX is 3 days or 10 msgs outgoing, whichever comes sooner. After that, she's just wasting your time and you have to have the self-esteem to say "It's been nice talking to you but I don't think we're compatible for each other." or just stop replying, if you're not a total puss$$y-wh1pped bitch. Remember, your time is valuable and YOU are valuable so you need to get to the point quickly. If she doesn't give you her number or tries to stall or whatever, it's her loss bcuz remember, she should be vying for you to like her, not the other way around. This should be your Mindset so move on immediately when things don't go your way.

  6. #6
    callmered is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Urbancowboy is right. You took too long. I've made the same mistake a couple times.

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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Quote Originally Posted by CripsMcgee View Post
    Yo, so I've been using okcupid for a little over a month now and every girl I've chatted with became really interested in me. But whenever I try to transition out from snail mail on the site I keep getting similar messages from girls. Here's one from a girl I have particular interest in:

    "Hey sorry I haven't responded. I've been online, but I really haven't been responding to anyone. And yeah I guess we can text, but as friends. I want to let you know that before I give you my number so you don't waste your time with me trying to get something else. I hope you don't think I'm being mean.I just want to be honest with you so you don't waste your time with me. You're a nice guy and I don't want to do that to you."

    I'm just at a crossroad now, I don't know if I should go along or just move on to the next girl. I froze her out for now, but I want to try something. Can anyone suggest a next form of action?
    Move on, she is saying FriendZone! and that she isnt interested.

  8. #8
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Hey, I know you might be hesitant and I understand because I'm not to thrilled about giving my number to just anyone but here let me give you my number #####. I'm a really personable guy and getting to know someone is hard through just snail mail, if you're interested shoot me a text!
    correct me guys if i'm wrong, but this is practically throwing yourself at the woman, and being desperate at the same time which i think plays a big part in why you got fz'd - don't get me wrong it shows your intentions but to me its not the most ideal way to go about it

  9. #9
    cityboy321 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Its online dating, girls aren't on that site looking for pen pals, dont be messaging that much. I have had good luck getting numbers within 2-3 messages. The key is to get them to agree to go out with you first-- then you get the number under some pretext of figuring out the logistics of your meet up, if they are responding to your messages more than likely they want to go out (thats why they are on dating websites-- to meet guys in person!)

    if they haven't ignored my message and messaged me back, usually the next message i say i think we would get along we should meet up, and then if she agrees to meet up (usually yes if she responded to you in the first place then get that number), if she doesnt want to give it out, move on theres a million other girls on the site looking for dudes

    at first i too was frustrated with ok cupid, but after you realize that its a numbers game its not too bad, and over time you get better with your opening message, the first message is key to getting them to respond because they get a lot of messages from dudes every day

    -hope that helps

  10. #10
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    konman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with the constant 'wall of text' I keep getting from girls.

    Some of these responses seem kind of arrogant, so without reading anything except OP's posts:

    "Me: Glad to see we moved on from internet strangers to internet friends." You just put yourself in the friend zone, my friend .

    Be more daring. Sorry, but it sounds like you could be boring them through lack of stimulating communication. A lot of the stuff you chatted about could've been meaningful text/phone/date convo.

    Be flirty, fun, but not overly sexual. Respond to all women's messages, at first. Test your limits with the 5/10 and unders that message you. Then attempt to push boundaries with 6+/10.

    I get numbers within like 20 messages to put it into perspective. Maybe some people consider that "a lot", but I have no use for a number If I don't like the girl. Can I suggest a small Mindset adjustment? Find out when YOU are ready to receive her number, not when she's ready to give you hers.

    I think you have a really good base to improve on brother. Work on it a little bit and reap the rewards. Have fun!
    _________
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    Discovering PUA one step at a time.

    Feel free to disagree with my opinions. I encourage it!


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