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Thread: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

  1. #1
    JustWandering is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    Ok, so some quick background first. I met a girl through a mutual friend 3-4 months ago. She's a high quality girl, smart, self confident, attractive, good job. I had met her before, but it was very brief. She somewhat remembered, but my hair had grown longer in the meantime, and she complimented me on it. We swapped numbers later.

    That was all shortly before the holidays. Both of us are pretty busy, traveled for holidays, then both had relatives staying with us. We've been out together once for a park concert, twice for dinner. I know a lot of you say not to do that, but that's just what I like. I like good food and good restaurants... so it's just me doing what I want.

    Since we've both been pretty busy, it's several months between times I've seen her. She knows I date other girls, and I assume she's dating too. (At the least, she surely has no lack of choices, and likely no lack of guys pursuing her.) We keep text contact a few times a week, but it's not real flirty.

    So the reason I called this 50 first dates is that so much time elapses between seeing her, it's like starting over every time. I haven't kissed her yet, partially because I know she has some dental issues she is having worked on. (You'd have no idea by looking at her... her smile is pretty much perfect.) I'm not used to moving along so slowly, and I feel like I'm on the verge of friend-zoning myself, if I haven't already.

    We wind up at her house at the end of the night. Last night, we're first sitting next to each other with legs touching. (which is fine) Then shortly after, she repositions herself sitting across from me, squarely facing me with upright posture. She's smiling... direct eye contact is pretty much constant. I perceive those as strong IOIs, but she's slightly too far away to touch. (Her moving seemed like an IOD at first, but subsequent body language convinced me otherwise.) She eventually mentions she better get to bed soon, and I say I didn't realize it was so late and need to get going. She says she had fun with me twice (I respond with a 'me too'), she says she'll be around this weekend, and she asks if I'm free this weekend. I pretty much say "maybe."

    So now we reach this morning, and she texts me by 9am, thanking me again for dinner and says "I had a wonderful time hanging with you."

    The fact that she texted me so soon and the use of the word "wonderful" there sounds like a big green light. "Hanging with you" sounds like she doesn't want to be too forward, but it does seem like we're developing something. Am I reading that right? What would a good response be? What time frame?

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    She wanted you to make a move and you didn't. It doesn't get more obvious than this. In fact, I'm sitting here hitting my head against the desk just reading this.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    hyp
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    We wind up at her house at the end of the night. Last night, we're first sitting next to each other with legs touching.
    +
    Then shortly after, she repositions herself sitting across from me, squarely facing me with upright posture. She's smiling... direct eye contact is pretty much constant. I perceive those as strong IOIs, but she's slightly too far away to touch.
    = you manning up and saying "come here (soft voice + hand gesture)

    which results in a makeout

  4. #4
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    Quote Originally Posted by hyp View Post
    We wind up at her house at the end of the night. Last night, we're first sitting next to each other with legs touching.
    +
    Then shortly after, she repositions herself sitting across from me, squarely facing me with upright posture. She's smiling... direct eye contact is pretty much constant. I perceive those as strong IOIs, but she's slightly too far away to touch.
    = you manning up and saying "come here (soft voice + hand gesture)

    which results in a makeout
    IT DOESN'T JUST END UP IN A MAKEOUT!!!

    She basically invited him to bed! Haha
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  5. #5
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    i know, and i feel sorry for the wanderer here (y) but you don't just stick it in, kiss first :P

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    As long as we're on the same wave length
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  7. #7
    JustWandering is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    She wanted you to make a move and you didn't. It doesn't get more obvious than this. In fact, I'm sitting here hitting my head against the desk just reading this.

    Sorry about your head. Appreciate your thoughts.

    The movement from beside me to across from me threw me off, as she was only beside me for 5-10 minutes or so, with a dog crawling on us. I'm just now analyzing it all. I doubt she's out of range yet since it sounds like she's chasing a bit.

  8. #8
    hyp
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    "Hanging with you" sounds like she doesn't want to be too forward
    think of it as another chance for her asking you to seduce her

    response: something that was funny that happened or she did, avoid being all like "heyyy it was so nice hanging with you too x0x0x0x0"

    1hr to 24hrs response time, any later and she'll go haywire cause she's semi-putting herself out there (not overly)

    **also im curious, did you even give her a hug?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    I never said she's a lost cause. She is still very much in play according to what you have said, but won't be for long if you don't man the fuck up!

    I like Chase Amante's approach to dating. If you get a girl in your place or her place, make a move within the first ten minutes. If you get her back to somewhere private, she's already somewhat open to a move and things can only go good. If you don't make a move you'll never know. If you make a move and she's not into it, waiting another hour probably wouldn't have made a difference.

    For a guy like you who clearly misses 100ft billboards advertising sexual Tension and desire, I think you should abide by this ten minute rule.

    Good luck!
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  10. #10
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: 50 first dates - wanting to speed things up a bit

    One more thing, You may not have been FZed, but you may have been BF zoned. Don't be surprised if she's not as receptive to sexual escalation next time.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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