Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 4 of 4
Like Tree3Likes
  • 2 Post By Dave-o
  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Texting an Ex - my thoughts

  1. #1
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,945, Level: 44
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    139
    Points
    4,945
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    207

    Default Texting an Ex - my thoughts

    Ok, this is writing from experience and partly writing to try to advise with regards to future behaviour of us guys when we suffer the end of a relationship.

    First off, when the break up happens, never let on how affected you are by the break up in a text based reply. Why? Well, if that happens, don't think that she is the only one that sees those replies. She can show her mates and they can all laugh at what a pathetic AFC you were when the two of you broke up.

    Don't text back pathetic and clingy messages because if she wants to remind herself of moments of the relationship, before she scrolls back, she will see your whiny and pathetic text messages and wonder why she is bothering to scroll back at all. Plus it will natural stay fresher in her head as she can replay the moment again and again and realise that you were an AFC and lost control of the relationship and that she is better off without you.

    Plus, if a woman is breaking up with you, do you really think crying or being clingy or desperate are Alpha traits in a Male? No, they are not and she won't be attracted by any of these.

    Hard as it is, sometimes you just need to accept the break up when it happens. The chances are that you will have some inkling that it will be on the cards and so you will keep your dignity better if you let her say what she has to to you, whether by text or face-to-face and then once she has said what she has to say, the next texts that you send back are along the lines of.... ok, I think you might be right, I was thinking our relationship over and I agree with you that it might be better if we're apart.

    'But that's not what I want to say!' I can hear you say, well no, it might not be the truth but it gives you more of a power of strength and is a lot more likely to persuade her to think that perhaps she has made a mistake and that you're not affected as you had given up on her and so it switches the balance of the power of the relationship break up.

    Next up, comes the moment of No Contact. There are a few reasons for No Contact. What are these?

    Firstly, it gives you a chance to heal without texting desperate or needy texts. She probably isn't expecting a message from you and most likely doesn't want messaging. No matter how much of an effort women make to pretend that they are not affected by the break up, they are as they think it over and they do realise the good moments that you have had, it's just by that point there are also reasons why the pair of you should be apart.

    She will continue to play the good parts over in her head and wonder why you don't seem affected if you don't text her. You can play the act that you are moving on and getting on with your life and that the break up hasn't hit you hard, even if you are sitting in your bedroom, holding your pillow and crying your eyes out as you can't believe that she finished with you.

    So what's next?

    If you can't move on, if you think that you can get her back then you need to ensure that you get this next move right. The first point is how long No Contact should last for.*

    In my mind, the 60 days that is often branded about is only for longer term relationships of 6 months +. If you have a short term relationship of a month or two then leaving it 60 days is too long. I think you need to leave it about a third of the time that you were together.

    If you were together three months then that means that you don't outwardly text her for a month. The most important part of this No Contact is the healing process. You need to heal if you are to be an Alpha Male again and to rediscover those qualities that first attracted her to you. Usually a third of the time is about appropriate for healing I think.

    So what next? Ok, you've sat out the period of no contact and still are itching to text her back. So what do you say?

    Whatever you do, don't text her just saying 'hey' or 'you ok?'.... those are the types of messages which can be discarded and say nothing but represent weakness as they hold no value. Instead, it's best to think of some common thought that the pair of you had together. By all means, text her and ask how she is but then make a comment about something funny that you had shared together. If you can make a comment about something funny, and the break up hasn't tinged this humour, then she will more than likely smile. Get her smiling when she receives the text and this can only be a positive.



    * Reasons for contact - There are reasons for contact and these include if you share a property, if you have had kids together, if you have property of each other which the other will need back quickly. On these occasions then message but only message the minimum number of times required and keep your texts on subject and 'strictly business'.

    This thread is a work in progress and will be worked on if any one else has any opinions on the subject matter or if I want to add more.

    I have screwed up any chance of a reconcilliation with the most recent woman in my life. Hurts every day not to have her in my life but not a lot I can do and I want to try to formulate a programme that helps others bounce back and either heal effectively or get their ex back.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Texting an Ex - my thoughts

    YES!

    (I'm only typing more to meet the 30 character minimum)


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,945, Level: 44
    Level completed: 98%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    139
    Points
    4,945
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    207

    Default Re: Texting an Ex - my thoughts

    I am learning from my mistakes and I learned another important lesson recently.

    If you text an ex and you want to talk about the relationship, be prepared not to ask her to come back to you. Instead, talk about the relationship, the times that you shared and tell her you appreciated those moments. Tell her that you understand why things had to end but you'll always look back on what you had and smile.

    By not pushing for the reconciliation, you are acting as if you have moved on. You are reminding her of the good times but not acting desperate or clingy.

    My mistake was that I told her that I wanted her back and missed her...ouch! Needless to say, she told me that she wasn't going to change her mind. I then asked what had really happened and why she broke it off, she wouldn't tell me. I find that side extremely frustrating as I always want to know what I did wrong so that I can achieve closure.

    I act my natural self but I'm learning a lot all the time. Learning from getting badly hurt. In the end my goal is to become a better guy and to be with a better woman.

  4. #4
    baltazar is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 311, Level: 6
    Level completed: 22%, Points required for next Level: 39
    Overall activity: 10.0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Serbia
    Posts
    84
    Points
    311
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: Texting an Ex - my thoughts

    I already learned from my mistakes, and i agree with u. I was totaly AFC, so it was one great experience for me


Similar Threads

  1. Shut down by HB8, thoughts?
    By callmemister in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 02-04-2013, 04:21 PM
  2. My Thoughts On Getting Over AA
    By Vicodin24 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 12-06-2012, 02:00 AM
  3. Attacking my AA - your thoughts?
    By Hotel Yorba in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 08-29-2012, 08:49 AM
  4. Thoughts on being attractive
    By Link777 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 08-12-2012, 10:15 PM
  5. looking for your thoughts on this one...
    By St.Jonny in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 07-26-2012, 03:04 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com