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  • 2 Post By T-Mal

Thread: A little confused with this girl... what to do

  1. #1
    supraz21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question A little confused with this girl... what to do

    so i met this girl at a party, got number
    -went out first date - went good
    - second date - went good, made a move and hooked up,
    -she tells me in person that she wants to see me again but acts flakey sometimes
    i am on holidays for a month atm
    was suppose to see her before i left
    her bro got 'sick' so she cancelled
    she was like im sorry cant make it today
    i ignored and was like **** this
    then she replies with a huge sorry text(brother has lupus btw)
    text her a few days later, she repies instantly
    i reply, no response
    a little after a week, i sent her a valentines text and rose
    no reply atm its 11 30pm

    dunno what to do
    i really like her and shes a pretty cool chick and want this to work
    but a little uncertain

    we have mutual friends, so i asked a closed friend of hers to ask where things where at between us
    basically she never got the rose - bloody florist
    friend asked something she said i was overseas, she said so? asked her a another question, didnt get a reply

    lastly its her birthday next week as well, should i just ignore that as well?
    the confusing thing is when im with her in person shes really different, like more attentive and caring etc
    but text is a little hard to read her if that makes sense

    not sure what to do
    thanks

    sorry if it doesnt make sense wrote this in a bit of a rush

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: A little confused with this girl... what to do

    Her brother has lupus & you got pissed that she had to cancel because he was sick??

    No wonder she didn't reply.
    That came off as being extremely selfish.

    Sometimes we as men, have to remember that it's not "all about us."


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  3. #3
    hyp
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    Default Re: A little confused with this girl... what to do

    ^ Tmal hopefully we learn from our mistakes, and succeed next time when the situation arises

    and my advice, send her happy birthday msg or give her a call (this will be more effective)

  4. #4
    supraz21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A little confused with this girl... what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    Her brother has lupus & you got pissed that she had to cancel because he was sick??

    No wonder she didn't reply.
    That came off as being extremely selfish.

    Sometimes we as men, have to remember that it's not "all about us."
    i wasnt pissed at that
    i understand that her brother needs her, i thought she was bullshiting thats all
    but when she explained it a bit of detail, it made more sense

  5. #5
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    Default Re: A little confused with this girl... what to do

    She may or may not be interested. A little more detail in regards to how your first date went would be helpful.

    Another thing is, have you hung out with her since the first date?

    Typically, if a girl has a great 1st date experience, she will hang out again. I have been on numerous first dates with girls and if I didn't feel like it was worth it, or I found it bland or boring, I typically would flake and kind of slowly back away. She may be doing that.

    I do get what you mean in regards to feeling she is flaking. She may also be just truly pre-occupied too. It isn't easy to tell this. But if you were supposed to hang out a bunch of times, and you still haven't, it may be a sign.

    Look at it this way, there are 2 ways a girl can flake; a good way, and bad way

    1) a girl flakes on you and doesn't offer another time or date
    2) she says she can't make it but wants to make it up on whatever day

    If a girl doesn't at least offer another day/date... it may mean she just isn't interested enough to go forward with another hang out

    Guys get a little too excited about a "decent" first date. I have had many first dates or first encounters that were good and fun, but that didn't mean it was something worth while to push and pull for. You always have to play it cool and with a grain of salt. I like to say, just cause a girl gives you her number, that doesn't mean she wants you. You have to be weary of when a girl seems interested in you because she may seem interested in you only because you want to see that, and not because she does.
    Last edited by KristiBell; 02-14-2013 at 02:11 PM.

  6. #6
    supraz21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default

    first date - took her to a casual dinner
    she offered to pay, we sat and talked for 1-2 hours till the place shut, we went for a walk outside. I then dropped her home. While on the date she asked how my schedule was for the week after so we could organize something. She told a mutual friend it was the best date she had ever been on, so i can safely assume it went good.

    After the first date, was second date
    went for dinner, i picked her up and dropped her home
    was good, we made out at the end, she told me she wants to see me again and when i was free.

    then was suppose to see her for a 'third date' but she canceled because of her brothers sickness, and then i left for holidays and that's where I am atm.

    yea the flaking part is very hard to judge, like i said in person its different when compared to text. well out of the two ways you mentioned couldn't really reschedule so i just told her id see her when i got back

    hope that helps, and thanks for the advice
    what do you suggest?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: A little confused with this girl... what to do

    Considering it is her birthday, I would definitely call (as someone indicated earlier). Just be nice, brief, and just wish her a happy birthday.

    I would work on your text game though. Not sure how it is, but the key to distance is to keep things exciting and fun via text. Not a lot of texting of course, but keep it fun, simple, and help it reignite that initial connection. Reference inside jokes, make her laugh, etc. But don't go overboard. Control the conversation via text too.

    Go from there. Then once you are back, don't ask her to hang out, tell her you two are going to meet up, where, and when? Be confident, assertive, and all that alphamale stuff.

  8. #8
    supraz21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A little confused with this girl... what to do

    yea realised i should text her on her birthday, was going to do it like at night so in the day she is thinking that its my birthday he hasnt texted but he remembered valentines day.

    text game was alright but theres not much to talk about atm since i havnt seen her in like 3 weeks, already talked about most things. Made a few inside jokes and references on both messages but idk, she didnt reply to mutual friends either so hard to judge

    I know what you mean, i dont want to be heaps clingy, so i was thinking of going no contact till her birthday. Just wish her and then as you mentioned call her when i get back and tell her we are going to xyz.
    If she says shes busy because of work or what ever should i say another day?, or wait for her to say something or is that when i should drop it and move on


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