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  1. #1
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Rule on telling girls that you date other girls

    so, I was just curious about this. When you are starting out talking, dating and a girl asks what you do, should you tell her you go out with other girls. If you are committed and its the beginning stages it could either a) make you look like an asshole b) make her see that its not just her in the picture

    Any advice?

  2. #2
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rule on telling girls that you date other girls

    Why do you choose to date different women at the same time?

    For me, I only want to see one woman and focus on her. So I'd like to understand the other perspective better.

  3. #3
    JustWandering is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rule on telling girls that you date other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by tonystark88 View Post
    so, I was just curious about this. When you are starting out talking, dating and a girl asks what you do, should you tell her you go out with other girls. If you are committed and its the beginning stages it could either a) make you look like an asshole b) make her see that its not just her in the picture

    Any advice?

    I won't pretend to be an expert. I assume you can easily check my post history.

    I'll just say this. Be honest. Definitely be honest with girls you are already dating. When you are meeting new girls, the subject will come up at some point. Be honest. Understand that you will lose girls this way... but you will sleep better, often after sex.

    I've never had a girl reject me because I was seeing other girls and honest about it. They do bail on me sometimes when they take me seriously... that they aren't involved in a competition... that I value the girls I know, and that I'm unwilling to become exclusive with them, now, or later.

    It can hurt a little. I've had 2 girls break it off with me in the last month. With one, it seems she changes her mind every few months. The other drove an hour to see me, took me out to dinner, we both came 4-5 times, then texts me the next morning saying she doesn't like "where things are going" and "we shouldn't talk anymore." I think she really meant that, and I think it's appropriate I respect her feelings. I might never hear from her again. I can respect that. I gave her all of the information she asked for, was popping it good, but she wants something different than I did. She is welcome back if she wants, but she knows where I'm at.

    I probably belong on a polyamory forum, more than a PUA forum. But this forum is really good with psychology of relationships and people in all sorts of ways. It's interesting to me. I lurked a long time before posting.

  4. #4
    ED11356's Avatar
    ED11356 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rule on telling girls that you date other girls

    Granted, I'm new in the game. However, I've never said to a girl that I'm dating other people (even if I really was or not). Certain women could interpret that as you being a player/trying to have casual sex. I wouldn't risk it, in my opinion.

    Then again, you telling her you're dating other women could be seen as being honest with your intentions.

  5. #5
    KingKino is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Rule on telling girls that you date other girls

    I think it's best to be honest, but you should say it in a way that doesn't make you come across as a player/man slut. Something like "Hey, I want you to know that I like you but I'm not ready to commit to anything. You should know I'm getting to know a few other girls at the moment just because I'm trying to find the right one for me. If that's not cool with you I understand but I hope you can see where I'm coming from"
    Some shit like that.


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