Re: Tips for this opener?
Fix up the typos, grammar, punctuation, and length. After that, you'll have yourself a solid opener. Women don't want to read something that's a pain on the eyes nor do they want to sit there reading an essay.
Whats up beau - You know what? I think I'm going to go with something different. Im sure you get 30 messages a day saying "hey sexy" or "What's up, beautiful?" I think I'll keep it simple. Hey, I'm Chris
After she replies, have a little conversation about asking "am I your type" questions and how much insecurity they show. You can even set up a Number Close that way, but it depends on how well you handle yourself in the conversation.
However, your opener, the full text, is great for a face to face conversation as long as you say it without making it sound too scripted
Always leave her better than you found her.