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  • 1 Post By costarica

Thread: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

  1. #1
    benmiya is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    I know this is one-itis but I developed feelings for a girl in my current social circle, but she is clearly closer to my friend than she is to me. She's got such an attractive personality that it is going to be really difficult to find someone like her.

    My friend is a natural, and also the perfect boyfriend material, except that he is already in an LDR. It does seem that she likes him a lot, though as a friend or lover, I am unable to tell since she's a very sporting flirt as well. However, she clearly shares a lot with this friend, and I am afraid she is already very close emotionally to him.

    This friend is the alpha in our group and I can almost feel a little Tension when we compete for this girl's attention. I don't think it would be that easy for me to displace him since he is clearly well-liked, fun, and flirts with everyone. It gets tough to beat his game. What can I do now? Should I even bother?

  2. #2
    stonehot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    All these forums are about competing people not weaker, but same level or stronger than 'you'.. And also: everything is worth bothering yourself, still better than giving up Anyway you didn't provide some more detailed info so i would just recommend to play some standard game to put her out of the second guy, some 'your' event, 'your' party, 'your' ocassion, where it should be (off course) inappropriate for her to invite also him.. good luck bro

  3. #3
    blazeboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    Too much talk about how great this guy is. You seem like a good guy. I'm sure you have great things to... things that are different from him, etc. Focus on those. Also, don't put this girl on such a pedestal. I'm sure she's great, but that will mess up your mental game if you put her on a pedestal. Trust me, you will find plenty of others like her. So, a lot of this is inner game and frame, etc. You need to start visualizing yourself as the sh*t! Be the fun guy, take the lead in organizing events and parties like stonehot suggested. Also, I think you should get some one on one time with her. That's the single best way to start working on her and getting to her on a deep level. Ask her out to coffee. Start texting her when you don't see her. Make it cocky funny. Take it to a flrity sexual level. Go out to drinks with her, etc. Don't worry abou this other guy. Focus on you.
    The world is your matrix. You control the strings.

  4. #4
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    This could be a touchy subject. Does your friend "game" girls or are you just trying to yank a girl that has her eye on this guy? Make sure cock-blocking is allowed. When my friends and I go out, we sometimes just act like complete idiots and have a philosophy of "may the best man win" and we literally try to just beat each other down in front of girls (all in good fun of course). Other times, if we see a girl that we just really want to meet, then we clarify (hey, i want this one so chill for a minute).

    It can sometimes be wise to just whisper to your friend "hey man, I am gonna try to hang out with this chick a bit." to get a gut check and make sure you aren't stepping on toes. This of course assuming that he's your friend.

    At any rate, this whole "alpha" thing can sometimes lead people to believe that they have to compete to be the alpha, or to neg the alpha to a beta in order to increase their own value. That is true when you first start because it's a "tactic" that can work. Long-term this just isn't a healthy approach.

    THIS DOES NOT have to be a competition, and you don't have to feel like you are "beating" someone. Look the girl in the eyes, have fun with her, make her feel good about herself, create a bit of sensual Tension and ultimately show her why you just as good if not better than anyone else. Because you already know her, you are in the perfect spot to actually build attraction with her. dhv'ing, alpha killing, and all that are tactics, and obviously they can work, but you have a bigger problem here...

    ** The one thing in your message below that stands out above everything (to me anyway), and in my opinion what you need to work on more than anything is this: "My friend is a natural, and also the perfect boyfriend material" << This is a complete load of shit. You have to wake up every day, realize that YOU are the best boyfriend material out there, and that every day you are going to do something that makes you even better boyfriend material. Whether that is learning something new, helping the world, helping your neighbor, or just inherently coming to grips with who you are in this world. I know this sounds a bit philosophical, but I'll be damned if I am going to be in any group of people and tell myself that anyone of them is better boyfriend material than me. This kind of thinking will kill your chances with women (because they will sense your insecurity), and it will kill your chances of ever truly having the self-confidence to just break through any kind of "situation" like this you are in.

    Also, remember that girls can be attracted to more than one guy at once, just like a guy can be attracted to more girls at once. Just because she has her "eye" on him, doesn't mean that she also doesn't have her eye on you. JUST ASSUME that this girl likes you because you are rock-solid boyfriend material. Tattoo that that your palm and read it every 5 minutes of your life until it becomes who you are. Girls can smell that level of security like a bloodhound.
    - CR

  5. #5
    benmiya is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    Thanks all for the tips and encouragement! Greatly appreciated!

    costarica: you are right, I am slightly insecure because, objectively speaking, this guy is much better than me in many areas, and I know because we share an apartment.

    I am still somewhat of a beginner so I am also trying to pick quite a bit of things that he is doing naturally. I don't want to let my friend know that I am interested in this girl because I do not know if he will find some way to make fun of me, especially in front of her.

  6. #6
    ColonelMathus is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    can u explain how much of a friend you and this guy are? how long have u been friends? close? etc etc...

  7. #7
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    I've actually dealt with this a couple of weeks back. I wouldn't say the guy was better than me, he was just more settled in the group. I did a basic Push Pull approach with her attention. Went out with a couple of her friends and the dude, started focusing on her friends, took them dancing, etc. Then basically ignored her the whole night until then end when I teased her a little bit about her crappy dance skills. I even asked her to take pics of me and the other girls...it really turned the tables.

    Bottom line, be more fun than him. More courageous, and game other girls in front of her. Girls love competition, be that challenge. Every situation is unique, but girls reactions are predictable once you push the right buttons.

  8. #8
    amazingJay is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    The reason you can't win this girl's attention is because this guy's game is "clearly better", work on your own game with other girls, develop solid inner game. At that point, learn how to AMOG successfully. If you do it right and have great game, you will probably keep this guy as a friend and still get the girl. Best of luck and remember, to be the best you have to outgame the best.

    -amazingJay

  9. #9
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any way to beat someone clearly better?

    The idea of you being inferior to him is complete garbage. He may be smooth, but it doesn't mean he's invincible. If you had the right skills and knowledge, you can easily take him down and establish yourself as the dominant one.

    Just recently I wrote a guide on being a successful Alpha Male. This includes taking down other guys and establishing yourself as the most superior of the group. You should go check it out, and then just spend a little time searching around the forums on flirting, texting rules, and the sorts. It will all help you out in the end.

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...lpha-male.html
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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