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  • 2 Post By costarica

Thread: Is this situation salvagable?

  1. #1
    esh2006 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Is this situation salvagable?

    I apologize for the long post, I'll try to keep it as concise as possible.

    I'm active duty Army stationed in Kansas. Last summer I met this HB8 when I was back home on leave. Since then we've talked off and on and hung out some when I'm home. She told me once fall started and she was back in college full time and also working a full time job, she wouldn't get to text much. Since then we've gone through periods of not talking for up to a month or 2, and then we'll start right back up where we left off.

    Most recently, I was home this past weekend. She started a job bar tending, so she said since she wouldn't have free time to go on a date or anything, I could visit her at work. We had a good time and great conversation, and talked about trying to hang out again before I left, but she flaked. She also asked when I would be home again and when I told her the dates she said she would for a fact be free that weekend (good sign?).Once I got back to kansas, our conversation fell off again.

    To put this next part in perspective, I have to say that up until now, I was a text-aholic. I really didn't grasp the concepts of waiting to reply to girls, being the one to end the conversation, etc.. It was especially bad with people back home, since I never get to see them I tend to text them a lot. I've been reading up the past few nights at everything that's been happening is making sense now lol.

    So tonight after a couple days of no conversation, I sent her a text, and she replied saying she wasn't trying to be mean, but that she has said before she isn't one of those people that feels the need to talk every day. I played it off saying I just had some free time since I've been back, and things were about to pick up so I wouldn't have much time to chat anyways. I then ended the convo on my terms and said I would text her sometime.

    So anyways, my question is, can this be salvaged? I know I should wait a while before trying again. What's the best amount of time? lol And is it a good sign that she's put up with my poor texting behavior for the past 9 months or so? Or that she was still willing to make a date? I'm not normally one to get twisted over a girl and can usually care less if I get shot down, but this one actually has me interested, and I'm pretty sure I let it show too much lol. Any advice would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    dvjackson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is this situation salvagable?

    Just don't cut down your texting too drastically or it'll look pretty conspicuously like you're changing your behavior to accomodate her, might make you look a little spineless. It is a good sign that she hasn't been apparently bothered by your bad texting habits so I wouldn't be too worried.

  3. #3
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is this situation salvagable?

    I think you are making some false assumptions. There is no rule that says you have to wait X amount of time before initiating or responding to a text. The only rule that should matter to you in the world of texting is that girls enjoy bring triggered. You can "perfectly time" the most lame sh1t in text messages and "perfectly time" your responses. You will get dropped. Or you can send extremely high-quality, energetic texts that just beg for a response.

    The typical phone (my iphone for example) has 7 to 8 conversations on the screen at any given time. What makes your conversation so special?

    You have to learn how to talk in response-driven and attention-getting language. If you aren't getting a response, go read a book on "how to write great headlines" and make every 3rd or 4th text a great headline.

    "BARTENDERS CAN HOLD THEIR BLADDER 72.8x TIMES LONGER THAN THEY CAN HOLD THEIR BREATH." << she may text back something like "wtf?" << in any event, the point is that you elicited a response. Now that you have her attention, use that to bring her more and more into your state of reality.

    Here are some random ones you can use out of the blue as well...

    1. why the hell do they make special "bra holders" for washing machines??
    2. i'm pooping.
    3. you suck.

    Whenever you want to start talking, ignore all the sh1t you hear about "wait x hours or x days" and send a headline-text that is funny or intriguing. She will mood-shift and move into your zone with you at least for a moment. From there, it's up to you to keep it going.
    Last edited by costarica; 02-21-2013 at 09:16 AM. Reason: my spelling sucked
    - CR

  4. #4
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is this situation salvagable?

    but that she has said before she isn't one of those people that feels the need to talk every day.
    she's probably not THAT into you as it seems, or you've texted her wayyyyyyy to long, people get bored of texting alot

    as for re initiating give her a phone call, set it up over the phone if she's flaked once prior over text

  5. #5
    esh2006 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is this situation salvagable?

    Yea she said she doesn't feel the need to talk every day, but she also said she hates talking on the phone and prefers texting. She's always down for hanging out when I'm home tho. So this morning I sent her a cliffhanger just to test the waters, no response yet. The thing I could never figure out with her was whenever she would stop texting, I would just move on to other girls but after a few weeks or a month, she would get in touch with me. I'm wondering if I just haven't been using the right techniques to get her to WANT to text me often. I figure I'll just let it go for now, and towards the end of march I'll shoot her a text a few days before I get home to try and set something up. Until then, I have a couple numbers on hand to occupy my time, plus a limitless supply at the local off post and college bars nearby :-)

  6. #6
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is this situation salvagable?

    Define cliffhanger and post the last 10 messages here along with date-stamps.
    - CR

  7. #7
    esh2006 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is this situation salvagable?

    I actually don't have the conversation anymore lol. What I like to do when I'm doing.. I guess you guys call it a Freeze Out lol (i'm still learning the lingo) I delete the text history. That way when I go into my text conversations, I won't see the name and be tempted to send the person a text message. As for the cliff hanger, I just used a by-the-book one I saw on one of the other pages (Hey kiddo, you'll never guess what happened this morning..). I figured she wouldn't text very soon so I could just play it off jokingly saying that I didn't remember what to say since her response time sucks, or something to that effect. Worst case, if she responded right away I could just give her some line about getting a snow day in the army and that they're so rare, and lead that into something else. Either way, that was around 8:50 this morning and I haven't heard from her.

    I'm actually working on a slight friend zone case right now. Comfort is definitely established, just working on escalation. Did some Kino tonight and I feel l made a some progress. I even did the invisible deck of cards trick just for fun.. she was eating it up haha.


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