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  • 2 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Date #1 Need Advice

  1. #1
    Perez91 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Date #1 Need Advice

    So thanks to advice I got on this forum, I asked out an HB8 from one of my classes to hang out with me and some friends last friday night. I picked her up and we went to a bar with my friends. We played pool for 3 hours, however, most of the interaction I had with her was in my car on the 30 minute drive to the bar. Once there one of my friends, who has a gf and is an alpha was non-stop talking to her and flirting. I tried not to care and kept trying to have fun. Then I started Kino, placing my hand on her leg touching her arm, and when she won a game of pool I high fived her but held on to her hand for a few seconds longer than normal, she allowed me to. On the way back I asked her "I was thinking of treating myself out to dinner next thursday, do you want to join?" to which she said yes right away and got out of my car.

    Some background on this girl, she is a 20 yr old, still lives with her mom, does not drink, most likely a virgin.

    Q:

    1) Was my offer to a date clear enough?
    2) I only text her to set up the logistics a day or so before meeting with her, should I text her more often or wait until after the first date?

    I have a gut feeling that she likes me but she is very hard to read. I'm thinking of taking her ice skating (nice place to start KINO) and then dinner (maybe followed by a visit to my place).

    Any comments & suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

  2. #2
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Date #1 Need Advice

    "I was thinking of treating myself out to dinner next thursday, do you want to join?" to which she said yes right away and got out of my car.
    yeah, that's really all there is to accepting it..nothing behind the curtain

    placing my hand on her leg touching

    she likes you

  3. #3
    Perez91 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Date #1 Need Advice

    Update

    I was stood up. I texted her the night before to confirm I would be picking her up at so and so time and I got this response: Hey! I'm sorry I can't come I promised I would help a friend with her hair like two weeks ago and she has a dance on saturday so I can't really cancel on her. I'd love to go next week if you guys are going though!

    I don't understand. How more clear could I have been. I was flirting/touching her the entire night and then I asked her "I'm treating myself out to dinner, would you like to join ME" to which she immediately said yes.

    I didn't respond to her but I will see her in class tomorrow and act normally. Should I forget about her or should I invite her out with my friends again, build up attraction, and then ask her out again but this time use the word DATE so she understands? Thanks.

  4. #4
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    nameinator is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Date #1 Need Advice

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation =(

    With that said, I think there are two things to keep in mind here.

    1.) One-itis. Don't fall into it. Has this girl done anything significant that separates her from all the other girls in your eyes?

    Remember, YOU are the prize that she must win. There are literally millions of other fish in the sea; don't let one-itis cloud your actions, and girls will unconsciously sense that from the way you act with them, and that will increase your value in her eyes.

    If this fish isn't biting, go fish more.

    2.) Maybe she's sh1t-testing you or maybe she genuinely is oblivious to your invitation for a date. Does it really matter either way if the solution is to simply BE ALPHA? Be direct, ask her out on a date! neg her a bit for flaking "Your new nickname is Snowflake from now on for all the flaking you seem to do" and then give her a chance to redeem herself by doing an actual date.

    If she doesn't bite, then go fish somewhere else!

  5. #5
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Date #1 Need Advice

    Don't forget that other people actually DO have lives too & sometimes things really do legitimately come up.

    I've had the same situation happen to me a bunch of times.

    The best way to deal with it is this:
    Be positive, supportive & understanding. (although if it constantly happens, then "next" her)

    You could say something like, "Oh.. bummer, but that's cool. I admire people who stick to their word & help their friends when they make a commitment. I bet you'll have her looking like a Supermodel! And absolutely yes, I'd love for you to come along next week! It'll be a blast."

    This expresses a non-needy / non-clingy attitude. It ALSO drops a subtle, subconscious message that you expect people to do what they say they're going to do.... without making her feel like you're blasting her.


    So, don't worry too much about the occasional change of plans... that's gonna happen.
    It's only a problem if it happens frequently.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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