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  1. #1
    Grimmshadow is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Okcupid profile critique

    My profile is Geekshadow and I still can't seem to get it just right. My female friends have agreed that my funny, though uninformative approach tends to be a bit weak, the following is my old self-description as it displays on my screen:

    Giving nerdy women hope since forever.

    I'm an awesome sexy beast. There, summary complete, but since I'm feeling generous, I'll add more.

    This amazing level of coolness can be yours for only five easy payments of $19.95.....wait, wrong line.

    I enjoy sunshine, puppies, and long Delves in the dungeon, where I keep my solar powered puppy destroyer.You'll never find the puppy destroyer!

    I'm chill enough that people usually don't realize that It's actually only my first year in college. They guess wrong for the most part.

    I'm probably going to become a cool, non-hopeless version of doctor evil.

    I have fairly high standards, but am also very tolerant of people, so feel free to message me as long as you don't have more than 85/7 skeletons in your closet.

    I enjoy difficult academic subjects, just not the grades and assignments that go with them.

    My inner d20 has a lot more sides than the ones that are easily shown in a single profile on a site like this. To roll the die talk to me in person, otherwise you'll just know me as an odd, attractive nerd guy from the internet.

    I'm not really sure what else to put, so suggestions on how to be sexier (impossible) are welcome.




    Currently, I'm trying to focus on a more serious approach as they reccommended, but I feel like it might be too weak or overused. Please compare this description to my current one and help me figure out which should draw more attention and responses. Could someone please take a look?

    Oh, also, I edit it fairly frequently, so feel free to check again in a few days.
    Last edited by Grimmshadow; 02-27-2013 at 02:56 AM. Reason: preventing future mismatched information

  2. #2
    Grimmshadow is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Okcupid profile critique

    Hmm, it won't let me edit it again, but the words in red are also supposed to be struckthrough with <del>del</del> html tags

  3. #3
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Okcupid profile critique

    My unfortunately harsh opinion:

    1. This seems more nerdy than funny.
    2. It attempts to be cocky, but does it in a nerdy way, so it's not really cocky. Therefore it seems desperate.
    3. The reference to d20 is amazingly nerdy, and I'd avoid that.

    Basically, this looks like something that a kid who plays dungeons of dragons and watches infomercials would write.

    About 4 years ago, I went through a product by one of the guys in the community (I can't remember now, but maybe someone else here can), and tested profiles on a few sites just to see how it would play out.

    My experiences:

    1. Online dating sucks. (Note that pulling girls from facebook to me is not online dating.)
    2. Girls that go online to date are BY FAR inferior (maybe a few gems, but they will be tremendously hard to find).
    3. If you are looking to get laid, be very, very direct:
    - "I hate picnics, roses, and puppies. I like sports, adrenaline, and a woman who knows how to please. Girly girls need not apply. End of Story." << of course this will weed out, and you will need to adjust, but you MUST be clear about what you are looking for because the girls reading these profiles are reading and asking themselves if you are what they want. Your current profile answers ZERO questions other than that you play dungeons and dragons and watch infomercials. Creepy.
    - CR

  4. #4
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Okcupid profile critique

    Ok first, ditch OKCupid and go to POF, the users are far more active trust me.

    Well I don't agree that online dating doesn't work. I have nothing but good experiences from it and it is a good place to practice material. I have a busy life so I just don't have time to go out and meet 10 new girls every week.

    I would strongly advise against being direct! Every other guy AFC is doing that with "hey beautiful want to fuck" messages. Escalate gradually, you don't want long conversations but once you have established a rapport get their number and arrange a date. You should be able to do that within 5 messages.

    as for the profile

    ditch things like "feel free to message me" it makes you appear needy.

    change the profile name and ditch "Geek" from everything, it is not an attractive word.

    Just say things about yourself in a playful manner, but you need to dial down the geekyness!

  5. #5
    Grimmshadow is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Okcupid profile critique

    Ok, due to not wanting to upgrade to a-list yet, I can't yet edit my username, but here is current rewrite of my account (minus some styling which was lost in transition):



    My self-summary

    Catchy, cool tagline



    I hate sunshine, puppies, long walks on the beach, and insert fourth cliché here lol

    Those are all fine and good, but I like Anime, Sci-fi, Fantasy, Martial arts, learning to play guitar, swordfighting, adrenaline, horror, action movies, rollercoasters, playing but not watching occasional games of various sports, the idea of a zombie invasion, and other fun/cool stuff. If you can't handle any of that, then you may be in the wrong place. If you do like that stuff, then we may already have a conversation point.



    Curently rewriting...



    What I’m doing with my life

    -Preparing to add a cool sketch or something to one of these descriptions

    -Going to college to become a mad engineer to build cool stuff better than your average mad scientist

    -Looking cool

    -Writing in incomplete sentences about what I'm doing with my life





    I’m really good at

    -academics

    -fencing

    -profile writing

    -breathing

    -remembering fun facts

    -looking cool while doing anything

    -hobbies





    The first things people usually notice about me How attractive, smart, and cool I am. What, did you expect some profound answer? Why don't you tell me, you're the one observing me right now.





    Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Sword art online

    Accel world

    Game of Thrones

    Burritoes

    Calzones

    rock

    metal

    alternative

    Lord of the Rings

    Puppy kicking for Dummies





    The six things I could never do without Brain, Heart, Lungs, digestive tract, the internet, arteries





    I spend a lot of time thinking about How amazing it would be if there were a zombie apocalypse tomorrow.







    On a typical Friday night I am Existing

    Doing cool stuff





    The most private thing I’m willing to admit I'll never talk, do your worst!!!



    I’m looking for

    Girls who like guys
    Ages 18–23
    Near me
    Who are single
    For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

    You should message me if You're not a complete crazy person.

    You like fun




    So, what's the good, the bad and the ugly?

  6. #6
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Okcupid profile critique

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post
    Ok first, ditch OKCupid and go to POF, the users are far more active trust me.
    This is bullshit and probably entirely depends on where you are. In NYC OKCupid has way higher quality women and is WAY better IMO.

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post
    Well I don't agree that online dating doesn't work. I have nothing but good experiences from it and it is a good place to practice material. I have a busy life so I just don't have time to go out and meet 10 new girls every week.
    In general, I feel online dating is a crutch that aspiring PUAs often use instead of sarging and meeting people. I don't think it works well and meeting in person is significantly better. But to each his own.

    Quote Originally Posted by sidewinder89 View Post
    I would strongly advise against being direct! Every other guy AFC is doing that with "hey beautiful want to fark" messages. Escalate gradually, you don't want long conversations but once you have established a rapport get their number and arrange a date. You should be able to do that within 5 messages.

    as for the profile

    ditch things like "feel free to message me" it makes you appear needy.

    change the profile name and ditch "Geek" from everything, it is not an attractive word.

    Just say things about yourself in a playful manner, but you need to dial down the geekyness!
    Agree with the rest.

    Your profile should be fun and goofy, but not too fun and goofy. You should avoid things that can be misconstrued. Saying "geeky" on a profile is a death knell if you ask me. Just think of how "geeky" most of the guys online are. Then think, how geeky is the guy who admits to being geeky?

    As for ditching the "feel free to message me," I agree, but I believe you should replace this with some form of disqualifier, such as, "Don't bother messaging me if...."
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."


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