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Thread: Need some tips about this girl I was dating

  1. #1
    TheWolt87's Avatar
    TheWolt87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Need some tips about this girl I was dating

    Hi there,
    First of all, for the past week I visited this forum for some extra tips on the way I 'should' date woman. Thanks for those advises. But still, I got some questions about how to deal with my specific situation.

    I met this girl at a party, number closed, waited some time and then send her a message. It felt good and we're texted (Whatsapp) like a lot, every day. It went on like 2 weeks and we dated about two times.
    Then we planned another date, on sunday, but suddenly she started to flake ("I want to meet you, but I got this friend of mine who needs my attention right now"-).
    First I ignored it, but later on the day I felt my ego blewn. I told her that 'I didn't like the way she canceled the date'.

    For two days in two weeks we had no contact, but then I started to send her a text again, we called and I explained the situation. Then she told me she 'needs time to think things over'. She wasn't sure she wanted to date again. But she said: "I like to text with you, so we can always text'. I thought the same about it and did send her a text, she did sent me a text sometimes, but it was clear that the way we text was very different: She didn't gave me a direct respons when we were texting of sometimes she didn't answered me at all.
    This all made me very, very insecure, because I really liked this girl.
    What I then did was: asking her out on a date, she refused because she said: "I need some time to think things over".
    The next day (yeah, I now) I did the same. Now this girl was mad ("Stop asking me! What are you, a sick psychopath?"). I explained the situation to her (I'm a little insecure). And we started to texting eachother again (but like 2-3 messages on a day, it felt different, somtimes less, and sometimes she sends me only a 9gag-picture, and I don't even know how to respond on that).

    Monday I sended her a text again, that we are going to get some drinks. So we met yesterday and she suddely started to talk about 'our situation'. She didn't know what to do because: 'I was so needy and obsessive'. She suggested: What if you are that obsessive right now, what about in a relationship later?
    My respons was: "I can't change your mind, and it's not the way I wanted this either". "So we can drink our drinks and go home right now".
    Then she said: "I want to think it over again, think if I want continue dating with you". Which I thought it was ok and told her that.
    Then I said: "let's just be friends than". Then her face turned like dissapointed and she asked me "Did you pick me up just to be friends?". Then I told her "I give you time to think it over, and I think it over as well".

    We ended this 'date' good, and on my way back home she sended me a message "Did you like my lipstick?" But there was no 'goodnight' or 'thanks for the evening' message.
    So this morning I was checking my phone again, and she sended me again one of those 9gag-photos.

    My questions:
    1. How do I deal with this girl? What should I do?
    2. How do I deal with this 9gag-photo things?
    3. Should I give her the cold shoulder, or what.
    4. What are my chances?
    5. Other tips are welcome

    Thanks for reading, answers will be nice.
    And: sorry for the bad English (like the band though).

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need some tips about this girl I was dating

    Ugh this is so bad I dont know where to start, so I'm going to keep it simple

    Let her come to you. Stop texting her. I don't care if it's a week, make her miss your attention, right now you're making her sick of it, wrong move
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    CriticalRap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need some tips about this girl I was dating

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWolt87 View Post

    Then I said: "let's just be friends than". Then her face turned like dissapointed and she asked me "Did you pick me up just to be friends?". Then I told her "I give you time to think it over, and I think it over as well".
    That was a good move, I like the sound of her being disappointed by it and "Did you pick me up just to be friends?" means she hasn't friend-zoned you yet.

    But she's right, you are needy/obsessive and you need to deal with that. I used to have the same problem, I got attached really quickly which leaves you open to take a hard fall and it lowers your value in her eyes.
    The way I see it now is this girl is great, and yeah I like her, BUT there are a LOT of amazing girls out there, so don't place her on pedestal and treat her like a god.

    If she wants some space, give her some space. Do other stuff to take your mind off of her.
    As for her sending you funny pictures, LAUGH at them. Maybe send her one every now and then in return as she obviously enjoys them.

    I don't like the cold shoulder, I feel it brings a negative air with it, don't be cold, be busy/unavailable.

    As for your chances, no one can really say, it could go either way and if it doesn't go your way, remember sh*t happens. Just shrug it off and move on, who knows, she may even chase you if you act like it doesn't really bother you at all. In any case, best of luck bud.


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