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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Building resentment toward girl who slowed down

  1. #1
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Building resentment toward girl who slowed down

    I posted another thread here a couple of days ago about a girl with who things were going quite well (seeing each other for a couple of months, leaving her stuff at my apartment, buying me shirts, etc.), then she went away on a vacation. Since she got back, she has basically cancelled prior arrangements we had, has politely refused my two invitations to hang out, and hasn't been making much of an effort the last few days.

    So far I feel I've dealt with it okay. I've tried some gentle pulling and, when I realized it wasn't going anywhere, I've decided to give her some space. It's entirely possible she's going through some things of her own and that I just need to give her a bit of time. I've started getting back in touch with other girls to try take my mind off her.

    Here's the problem: I've noticed I've started unconsciously building a resentment toward her. I feel she's being selfish and disrespectful to have suddenly ground things to a halt between us after pulling at me so hard and for so long. Yesterday she texted me a couple of times about how her day was, however she didn't ask me any questions and she didn't try to make any plans, so I've just flat-out ignored the texts.

    Is this normal? I know I'm supposed to have the mind frame that I'm an awesome guy with many options and that I shouldn't take anyone's crap, but I also don't want to appear as being easily flustered or that I take things too seriously.

  2. #2
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Building resentment toward girl who slowed down

    Yeah... that's a normal way to feel, so you're not the only one.

    The right thing to do (Which from the sounds of it, you're doing) is to be cool.
    It's OK to feel a bit pissed off...
    Just don't make the mistake of reacting emotionally because of it.

    (I know, because I've done that myself in the past... not good!!)

    What you CAN do is, keep an ALPHA attitude & be positive. Be interesting, funny, polite, respectful & keep expressing a FUN vibe.

    Be flirty with her, but don't give a sh!t about her responses if they're not positive &/or reciprocative.

    Don't be a d!ck or a douchebag to her under any circumstances.... just be level-headed & have the same attitude that you had, when you first met her & things were going well.

    She'll either catch on... or she won't.
    Then you'll have a better idea of whether to "next her"... or if she begins to reciprocate the interest & effort.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Building resentment toward girl who slowed down

    Thanks, that's helpful to know I'm not alone.

    I will do my best to be funny, interesting, and polite. But I fear there's a big danger that I'm going to exhibit a very disinterested attitude next time I see her and until she puts a little effort in.

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Building resentment toward girl who slowed down

    A little "disinterest" can be extremely effective.
    It can cause her to "chase YOU"...

    I actually wrote a thread about that process here.

    I explain how to do it & why it's effective.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Building resentment toward girl who slowed down

    Great advice. Seems I'm doing as I should.


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