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  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    Met this girl in a club a couple of weeks ago, not much of a talk, I just liked her and waited for her to go to the toilet (she was with a guy) so I could stop her and ask her phone number and tell her I wanted to see her again (yeah, I know the most hardcore PUAs would say that's very much not alpha and AFC waiting for a single girl, but whatever ).

    After she agreed to meet, I texted her

    "cool And please don't be too excited you are going to meet me, you can relax and be yourself :P"

    and she replied "i won't its not a date, just meeting of two new friends but i'm afraid i dont remember you look like.. will you recognize me? ".

    How would you interpret this one and how would you react?

    I was thinking of going with something like "'course it's not a date, what are we, 80YO?"
    And then add some joke. Maybe something like "glad you were not expecting me to come with a bunch or red roses" .

  2. #2
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    Ignore it, persist with Kino, hit a small road block, reel back 5 min and start over.

    If she was with a guy and agreed to meet you, then you can be sure there is at least 1% of that is adventurous and fun. Find that 1% and escalate the ever living hell out of it.
    - CR

  3. #3
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    She flaked two hours before.

    My reply was in the end a bit strong, I can't help but wonder if the flake was because of my message.

    It was something like " yes I will recognize you, but if we meet in front of xxx and you wear something red, short and sexy it will be easier for everyone ".

    I knew she had to get up early today and tomorrow (like middle of the night actually) but it's still a flake and it could be because I failed to acknowledge it was not a date rather than the smart ass reply I actually went for.


    The jury is still out, I will let you know.

  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    Doesn't sound like there was much comfort building. Maybe not attraction building either. Do you know why we PUAs build comfort? This is what goes through her head meeting up with a guy she barely knows.

    "Ok he's either a stalker, rapist, or murderer. I can't meet him yet until I find out more."

    This is an oversimplification, but you get the idea. Essentially she doesn't need to find out more about you. She just needs to feel safe around you.

    Comfort is suppose to JUSTIFY why you want to continue with her. Doing it solely based on attraction is risky. She knows you know nothing about her and just think she's hot. And most women require something deeper. (Unless you get lucky and find a wild one lol) Qualification is more for building that justification, but it ties in with comfort as well.

    Her saying that it was just two friends meeting was a sign that it was too early. If you got to comfort phase then both of you would be open about your interest in each other and talking about continuing your relationship ie: dating. The fact that she wanted to disguise a date with you is either because she has a bf or there wasn't enough comfort built. (Maybe that guy was her bf lol.)
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    Thank you BatMan.

    The club talk was nice, but not too long and with her a bit drunk. There were a few SMS before but not much indeed.
    I told her my complete name and surname so she could either google me or find on Facebook and add me, that should have helped easing some fear I thought.

    I should have confirmed the friend thing in my SMS maybe.

    I copy past the conversation here:

    her: I'm sorry... I dont feel good. I got up early today and tomorrow is the same... Hope you don't mind meet me another day...
    (I know the wake up thingy from earlier texts, but I'm not trying to make excuses in my mind for the flake, just adding the info)

    Me (after 20 mins): Next time bring along a bottle of wine to be forgiven

    Do you think it should have been good to add here "my dear friend" at the end?
    What about asking her what the hell is she exactly doing so early? Does it sound desperate 2 messages in a row now before she replies, if ever?

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    That's good she has access to something like your FB. Anything that could just not get you bunched in with the creepy orbiters she has around.

    I've heard (and learned) that it takes between 5-20 min to get through the attraction phase. Attraction in 5 min? Yup. If you use push/pull at the right moment with a few disqualifiers you increase your chances dramatically. But in case you don't get to comfort (so many times I did not get to comfort) then it means you got to do it through the phone or texting. It's not ideal, but if she is a bit resistant for a meet up then you know you have to build more comfort and the phone is all you got. And FB lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says "it's not a date, just meeting of two new friends"

    Ehehe yeah .
    I would say she definitely checked the FB but didn't add me, which not only is OK but actually gave her some points for not being too rushed and too curious.

    Usually I don't mind cancellations if I don't care too much, but this one was a tough one to swallow, especially at first blush.
    To me she was the cutest in a pretty big club and seemed a witty one, and each message from her meant much more than any others. I was already fantasizing quite a bit about it.
    I know, I know, sounds very much one-itis AFC , but I wouldn't mind meeting a person I really like both physically and mentally to eventually start something more special, and thinking of myself as a smart, well learned guy in a Country where very few speak good English, it's not easy finding someone who fits the bill..


    I was thinking to freeze for 2-3 days and then charge again, I'm not yet ready to let the credits roll on this one .
    What do you think?


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