Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    24seven's Avatar
    24seven is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 60, Level: 1
    Level completed: 20%, Points required for next Level: 40
    Overall activity: 20.0%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Wales, UK
    Posts
    7
    Points
    60
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default POF profile critique

    Ok so I've just been through a few threads and posts on here to help me re-write my profile. I thought it was a bit too honest and clean and thus dreary, so here's what I've gone with.

    Before:
    Headline: Just another fish in the sea?

    Hey, I'm [B[my real first name]/B] and yes, I am a real princess! I'm one of those easy going, knows where he wants to be in 10 years types of people, but I don't take life too seriously and will make a joke out of pretty much anything! I'd like to go on more adventures than I do, random unplanned holidays travelling off the beaten path, deciding on the spur of the moment instead of following a guide, but I want someone to share that with.

    I'm a big Motorsport fan & a bit of a classic car lover, but don't mistake me for just another chav in McDonalds car park - I might cry! I do have a gym membership. I go maybe twice a week tops so I'm not a massive fitness freak. I get plenty of exercise on my bike and have a few free weights at home which do me well. I'm a good cook so I eat healthily on top which all works well. I've got quite broad taste in music & films - my favourite band is Pearl Jam and favourite film is Back to the Future.

    I'd like to meet someone with their feet on the ground, doesn't take things too seriously and is as happy to tell an offensive joke as she is to hear one. Someone to order a pizza with and cwtch up to in front of a film at the weekends. Someone who will join me when I go off on a random philosophical/nonsensical ramble. As far as looks go I'm really not a shallow person so I don't have "a type" although I do have a little soft spot for red heads.

    Also if you're an artist you please come and help me design a sleeve, because I seriously cannot draw anything more complicated than stick men! :P
    FYI "cwtch" is a sort of made-up but in-common-use word in Wales for cuddle/snuggle etc.

    And now:

    Headline: Do people with one webbed foot swim in circles?

    Before you ask yes, I am a real princess! I know where I want to be in 10 years time, but first I want to go on some adventures and someone's going to have to come with me to make sure my parents know if I die bungee jumping or in a drunken bar fight with a gang of Tibetan monks!

    I like music & films. Everyone does, don't they? My favourite band is Pearl Jam and favourite film is Back to the Future.

    If you're a redhead, get in my bed. If you're not, get in my bed. I'm not shallow, I don't have a type, but you have to be funny and laugh at my jokes though. That is a deal breaker!

    So any thoughts? I'm worried it might be a little too cocky and vague more than anything. Any advice or comments would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: POF profile critique

    I'd change "Princess" to "Prince" first of all....
    (Unless you're a girl)

    The revision is kinda funny... but it comes across as a little too "try hard".

    You want to build more curiosity & intrigue, by making your profile more "engaging", so that it makes them interested & draws them in.

    Don't give too much information... but DO give them SOME, so that they're able to get a little insight on who you are.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    24seven's Avatar
    24seven is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 60, Level: 1
    Level completed: 20%, Points required for next Level: 40
    Overall activity: 20.0%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Wales, UK
    Posts
    7
    Points
    60
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: POF profile critique

    Thanks For the feedback. The princess thing is related to one of the drop-down menu options where you can choose a personality type, it has things like Foodie, Hippie, Starving Artist etc. I went with princess and made it into a joke to avoid being singled out as any specific type which might put off particular groups.

    Is it the "Get in my bed" thing that stands out as trying too hard? That was the bit I thought might be too cocky really but if that's what you meant by trying too hard I can see what you mean.

  4. #4
    24seven's Avatar
    24seven is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 60, Level: 1
    Level completed: 20%, Points required for next Level: 40
    Overall activity: 20.0%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Wales, UK
    Posts
    7
    Points
    60
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: POF profile critique

    Ok wow, so I think I'm going to leave it as it currently is, slightly modified from above. 3 number closes in one evening. Probably nothing for you guys but considering in my life I've probably only managed double that already, I'll take it! Definitely glad I found this site now.

  5. #5
    Sal_Paradise's Avatar
    Sal_Paradise is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 580, Level: 11
    Level completed: 60%, Points required for next Level: 20
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Cincinnati, OH
    Posts
    127
    Points
    580
    Level
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    34

    Default Re: POF profile critique

    I think it's pretty awesome especially the get in my bed part. I might take out the band and movie since it's not really interesting or entertaining


Similar Threads

  1. Profile critique please!
    By archard in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 11-28-2012, 03:47 PM
  2. Can Use A POF Profile Critique
    By Vegas in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 11-27-2012, 05:23 AM
  3. Critique my POF Profile!
    By TheManSohan in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 08-21-2012, 09:18 AM
  4. Profile help and critique
    By Scarpa in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 08-05-2012, 10:58 PM
  5. Critique my OKC Profile!
    By NTBCupid in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 06-27-2012, 10:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com