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  1. #1
    Jimbo501 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    Hi Guys,

    Basically I went away for the weekend to a city that I go every so often and ended up in a club dancing, quite intimetley, with a cute girl. It was loud in there so we didn't talk much, although she was trying to say something to me a couple of times, then gave up as it was so loud and we carried on dancing. Never got her name or talked, that was it.

    Now my mate has found her via pictures of the night we were at on facebook, do I add her!? Is that creepy?

    I want to, but need your guys help please.....how would I open the conversation without seeming creepy!?

    I would usually not add her in fear of seeming creepy, but I guess I have nothing to lose and the fact she was dancing with me could be a good sign?

    Ideas on a good opener would be massively appreciated!!! You guys are awesome...

  2. #2
    vaebaen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    I would have my friend friend her then post on her wall then act like u seen your friends post and comment on it to after her then see if he adds u if not add her later less creepy

  3. #3
    Jimbo501 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    It's a tricky one....

    I can message her without adding I suppose.

    Something like "Nice moves on Friday... ;-) "

    Is that good or bad!?

  4. #4
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
    FriendzoneDominator is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    Just add her! Definitely!

    I do that many times a week, and it's the approach that works best.

    Just put yourself in her shoes for a second: "Oh, this cute guy I met messaged me on FB, but he didn't add me! What does that mean? He might be some sort of player and just want to set up a date, but doesn't give a shit about me!".

    Then when you she has accepted you, you can message her some day later, but make sure to have something interesting to say. I generally go with "I'm going to these parties that will be awesome; do you have any plans?", but of course you might find something like a common interest on her profile that you just have to message about like "Oh, what server are you playing on?".

    If she doesn't accept you it's no problem either! She probably just want to know you better first, so then after a week (again when you have something interesting to say) you can message her and talk a little and she will finally confirm your friends-request. Or you can just meet her again and again, and if you build enough rapport, she'll accept you then.

    I've had girls who accept me first after months of partying together.

    So just add her! You have nothing to lose except that FB might be angry so that you can't add people for awhile, but that isn't a big problem really.

  5. #5
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    Make a comment saying something to the effect of:

    "That guy you were dancing with looked like trouble... you better keep an eye on him!! "

    Something playful that also expresses confidence is gonna be your best bet.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    vaebaen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    You can do it that way but if you do it my way and she adds you you got bonus points

  7. #7
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    "That guy you were dancing with looked like trouble... you better keep an eye on him!"

    Last week I added a girl after the discussion after I looked at her FB page:
    Me: Why the f*** are you friends with these idiots (who happen to be "friends" with me too)?
    Her: I need to keep an eye on them because I'm building up a case for the police against them.
    Me: I need to add you and learn more about the stupid shit they've done (stalking and stuff).

    I bet you can't find that pick-up in any school book!

    I'm not into her, but she's really fun and useful, and this morning she had an afterparty from where I brought a totally wonderful girl that only has a tiny tiny BF-problem across the sea, but I feel the BF destroyer is starting to work.

  8. #8
    tlicious is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    Feel like T-mal got the answer to your question.

    one thing is for sure, you should definitely add her. getting your friend to add her and making a comment on their conversation (really?? wtf?) is just unnecessary trouble. Don't be afraid to be straightforward, you are the man and she will want you to be a man.

  9. #9
    Jimbo501 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    Went with T-Mal's one, seemed the best.

    Not keen on letting my friend add her first, that doesn't seem right. I like T-Mal's advice, its confident and a little cheeky too. Something like "We should hang out sometime, once you've had some more dance lessons" could work too i think.

    Cheers guys, helped a lot.....I would never have usually said something like this....!

  10. #10
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Facebook dilemma, advice for a newbie?

    You can get away with saying just about anything if you do it with confidence...

    And if you think there's a chance something might be taken as being too harsh or brash; just use a "wink" or "smiley" or "tongue sticking out" emoticon, to indicate you're being silly & just kinda razzing her.

    I've said some pretty bold & seemingly risky things that worked amazingly well. (Sometimes taking a big "kill shot" is exactly what the girl wants you to do.)

    It takes practice to be able to do it without coming off as arrogant or domineering...

    When you text, email, or chat with a girl, it's not always easy for the intended inflection to come across properly... but again, that's where emoticons can be your friend!

    Example:
    "Look, quit complaining & put your big girl panties on! Your whiny, bratty attitude is gonna make me puke... heehee!!"

    Without the "laugh" & emoticons added in, I would come across as being a complete douche-bag.
    But WITH them, it's teasing/bantering/razzing... basically just a little sarcastic humor (which actually fits my personality).

    I'm not saying you have to be that over-the-top... but it's an example of how you can get away with saying something bold if you want to.



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