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Thread: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

  1. #1
    monkeh87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Hey guys,

    So I've been seeing this girl that I met in town quite a lot recently, about 2-3 times a week for the last 4 weeks. There was massive attraction and eventually we went back to her house where I met her parents and sister, this was kind of a big move forward in my eyes even if her dog did pee on me as soon as I arrived.
    After much resistance (her saying she's trying to be a good girl) we finally had some awesome sex on Thursday night at mine, we had done foreplay prior to this within the first week. Every time we're together she holds my hand and treats me as if I'm her boyfriend, calling me "babe" and stuff.

    Anyway, the issue lies when we are not together she gives signals that contradict her feelings when we are together. This has been most noticeable in the last 2 days when we had a text conversation going yesterday morning and she just didn't bother responding to my last text (normally she would without a doubt). I didn't text her again until this morning with a simple text "Howdy my little cowgirl, hope your sunday is full of awesomeness xx" and she has not responded when she would have normally within an hour at the most. She was posting statuses on Facebook after I text her so she can't be busy.

    Should I just wait a couple days now and give her a call? It's almost as if she is gaming me! Her sister also added me on Facebook last night which I thought was a bit random considering I only briefly met her.

    She's f***ing with my mind right now and It's driving me crazy lol.

    Any help/advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Just take a step back and chill. What you should do is not text her until she initiates the conversation, and when she does don't jump on the text like you've been waiting for it. Play it off like you are disinterested and that you have better things to do than wait on her texts, it should get her back into it and chasing you. The idea is if you get complacent in a relationship and she's gotten all that she wants she'll get bored, Make her work for your attention. Good luck.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  3. #3
    monkeh87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Thanks for the advice dude she eventually texted me back last night saying "Aw i'm just so hungover I can't cope anymore hope you've had a lovely day xxx" and we exchanged a few texts, she sounded quite enthusiastic until my last text which she's completely ignoring again. As part of my last text I ended it saying "we should hang out " hoping that we could arrange something from that but have heard nothing for almost 24 hours (i guess the text could have come across as not worthy of a reply).

    Do you think she's looking for more attention? Or less attention? Should I just bite the bullet and just send a text to arrange a meet? I'd like to keep my dignity at the same time if possible.

    Any opinions from others would be great!
    Thanks

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Girls hate indecisiveness & love definite plans.
    So don't just ask her to "hang out"...

    You need to SELL IT!
    Tell her what you want to do & make it sound fun.

    Examples / ideas:

    "Craving pizza! Roll with me this Fri @ 8:13! you'll love their hand-tossed crust!"

    "Hey Sweet Face, 1 Big milkshake / 2 straws.... Saturday at 4:04"

    "Hey my little dancin queen, new club opening tomorrow. Get your boogie shoes ready - Pick u up at 7:33 "

    "Hey mamacita, margaritas Sat nite. Come to my place & we'll roll @ 7:27 ! Adios mi amiga!"




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  5. #5
    monkeh87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Thanks, It was a bit of a lame line but it doesn't normally take much to get her to meet.
    I'm just unsure what to do next as I don't want to come across as needy (who does) and I'm unsure what's going through her mind. Do you think I should just text her tonight with something similar to what you suggested?
    Thanks

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    I NEVER know what's going on in a girl's mind... LOL!
    So the thing I do is "make assumptions".

    "Hey whatcha doin? Wait, don't tell me lemme guess: You're taking a speed-knitting class so you can make me a scarf! You're soooo sweet! "

    (*Thanks to Race DePriest from "b4utxther" for that one!)

    But seriously, I often make comments assuming she's thinking of me & just waiting for me to call/text/set up a get-together..etc.
    (In a playful way)

    In addition to setting up "dates", the thing you want to do with texting is, use it to keep building the attraction when you're not with her.

    Just make the whole interaction as fun as possible. FUN will keep her interested & responding.



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  7. #7
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    I'm friends with girls like this and I'm even dating one right now with a situation that's identical: seeing each other several times per week, buying me shirts, treating me like her boyfriend, suddenly stopped all contact for 3 weeks, her dog peed on me, etc. (Okay maybe not the being peed on part.)

    The thing about girls is they're totally illogical and crazy, and even they don't fully understand why they react certain ways. She wants her space right now, so give her some. One of the main reasons girls will break up with a guy early on in a relationship is because he starts smothering her before she's ready.

    Give her space, date other girls, live your life for a while, DATE OTHER GIRLS, and don't worry about it. It's most likely some illogical thing in her life that she can't explain. In the mean time, be casually persistent and continue inviting her out every once in a while. Stay positive, she'll eventually say yes.

    Whatever you do, make sure you don't get emotional toward her. The biggest turn on to any other human, girls especially but also many guys, is being fully independent and yourself, and as though you could run the world on your shoulders if necessary.


    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    Girls hate indecisiveness & love definite plans.
    So don't just ask her to "hang out"...

    You need to SELL IT!
    Tell her what you want to do & make it sound fun.

    Examples / ideas:

    "Craving pizza! Roll with me this Fri @ 8:13! you'll love their hand-tossed crust!"

    "Hey Sweet Face, 1 Big milkshake / 2 straws.... Saturday at 4:04"

    "Hey my little dancin queen, new club opening tomorrow. Get your boogie shoes ready - Pick u up at 7:33 "

    "Hey mamacita, margaritas Sat nite. Come to my place & we'll roll @ 7:27 ! Adios mi amiga!"


    T-Mal, I love your texting and conversation guide, and I always have to chuckle at these examples when I see them. I think they're great and definitely need to be toned toward the type of girl you're messaging. I think if I sent any of those messages verbatim, I'd never be taken seriously by the kinds of women I date!

  8. #8
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    LOL!!

    Yeah, I DO tend to go after a certain "type" of girl...

    I like the ones who are smart & opinionated... ones who are witty & sarcastic, with a tendency to dish it out as well as being able to take it when it comes to razzing & teasing.

    The type of girl who usually intimidates most guys...

    (They seem to be the ones who understand my semi-bizarre sense of humor the best.)


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  9. #9
    Ra1d is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Essential17 View Post
    I'm friends with girls like this and I'm even dating one right now with a situation that's identical: seeing each other several times per week, buying me shirts, treating me like her boyfriend, suddenly stopped all contact for 3 weeks, her dog peed on me, etc. (Okay maybe not the being peed on part.)

    The thing about girls is they're totally illogical and crazy, and even they don't fully understand why they react certain ways. She wants her space right now, so give her some. One of the main reasons girls will break up with a guy early on in a relationship is because he starts smothering her before she's ready.

    Give her space, date other girls, live your life for a while, DATE OTHER GIRLS, and don't worry about it. It's most likely some illogical thing in her life that she can't explain. In the mean time, be casually persistent and continue inviting her out every once in a while. Stay positive, she'll eventually say yes.

    Whatever you do, make sure you don't get emotional toward her. The biggest turn on to any other human, girls especially but also many guys, is being fully independent and yourself, and as though you could run the world on your shoulders if necessary.




    T-Mal, I love your texting and conversation guide, and I always have to chuckle at these examples when I see them. I think they're great and definitely need to be toned toward the type of girl you're messaging. I think if I sent any of those messages verbatim, I'd never be taken seriously by the kinds of women I date!
    There's also the "problematic" part,where you think.Don't think.Try it.
    Like it was explained in the guide itself,girls respond with their feelings.

    For example,if you ask for an opinion in a club(like the famous Mystery openers),most of the time if there are guys in a set,they would either just not give a damn or ignore you assuming you're trying to hit on the girls.Or even be aggressive about it.

    But not the girls,most of them will try to respond and even relate to what you're saying,if they don't,usually it's the person asking for an opinion's doing something wrong.

  10. #10
    monkeh87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Not responding to texts when we're pretty much going out?

    Thanks guys I think I'm a step closer to understanding this girl! I kinda think now that she just wants to have a casual relationship, possibly caused by her realising that we were getting a bit emotionally attached. I also think her age has a major part to play, she's only 19 (I'm 25) and relatively immature for her age, she probably doesn't know what she wants right now.

    Obviously though I'd still like to continue seeing her, whilst dating other girls of course! I sent her a text bringing up the idea of going rock climbing during the week, it's a hobby of mine and we've talked about going before. She replied,

    "do you mind if we do that like next week or something? I've just got such a busy week and so stressed, the though of the abseiling bit a sec will stress me right out haha xx"

    So how do you guys think I should deal with that? I'm unsure whether to suggest another date idea for this week or to just play Mr Cool and wait for her to come chasing me. I'd like to see her before I head back home for Easter at the end of next week.

    Thanks


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