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  1. #1
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    So I decided I needed a change for all the other girls I was talking too. I met this girl online and we were emailing yesterday and decided to meet. Originally it was under the auspices of FWB cause I realized I need some ass while I'm working the other girls. I just ended another FWB cause she wanted more, and I realized after all this time of being single it would be nice to have a steady girlfriend. But in the meantime when I'm working that out cause I'm picky i thought a hookup would be nice.

    She had something similar where he wanted more and after the initial part where he said he wanted to be friends she got turned off to the idea of being with him. And he did what the girl did to me really wanted more and she wasn't feeling it so was worried bout the next guy doing the same, as was I. Says she is looking for a real friendship

    So any met her for a dinner she had suggested had great conversation couple hours later she invited me over we laughed joked, watched stupid porn, messed around not full close cause time of the month but sure close to me. Then she watched tv an hour later I went home.

    Problem: The type of girls I normally FWB are the ones I'm not as mentally attracted too so eventually I end it but it was sortof fun. This chick I can tell right away I like her mentally as well . Hell if I know if we could date cause I just met her and that takes time. But I'm a little worried I set up a situation with some chick I could end up liking more, and getting burned cause the frame was set up for FWB.

    Advice?

  2. #2
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: sh1t I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    most of the time you can convert a fwb into a relationship, but it's hard as hell (not impossible) to convert a relationship into a fwb.

    In your case, start it as an FWB and if you start to like her more and want a relationship, just tell get her thoughts on it. She probably wouldn't stop putting out just because you started to like her unless she thought it was getting weird.

    Watch out for this though. As soon as you start to like her more and you know she is hooking up with other guys, it'll mess with your head. better to end it at that point or move into a relationship phase unless you really can just detach.
    - CR

  3. #3
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    When should I contact this girl next ?

  4. #4
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    (Being that even though its fwb we did f close)

    Just don't wanna be too eager

  5. #5
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    In situations like this, you almost have to go "reverse psychology" on the girl.
    You need to make it HER idea, if things lead to more.

    The most effective way to do this is, tell her things like, "Now don't start falling for me... because you're the type of girl who could totally get to me."

    or

    "Don't fall in love with me... because I'm not sure I could resist you if that happened. So keep your distance.." *with a wink & a smile.

    Things along those lines present it kind of like a "challenge"... which girls crave!

    Girls are effected by feelings & emotions & they make decisions because of them.

    That's how I ended up getting my Fiancee...

    We were "just dating" & were almost like a FWB situation.
    But I saw something about her that I was totally affected by & I wanted her to be "The ONE".
    So, I had to figure out a way to make HER want more.

    That's when I started heavy seduction & building extreme attraction... as well as told her things similar to the examples above.

    It didn't take very long before she started mentioning that she was interested in seeing where things could go & wanted more.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    That's a great idea. She actually said that to me . Before we met and I said don't worry and blah blah. How do I turn it around now? When is the proper time to contact her again.

  7. #7
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    The time to contact a girl is "when you feel like contacting her".


    There's no specific "right time"... so don't over-think it or worry about it.

    If you're in the mood to get ahold of her, just do it.

    Also-
    Did she JUST say "don't fall for me / fall in love with me"?

    Or did she also imply that she could fall for you too?
    (That's gonna be the key with this.)


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    She said that she had a guy who she was having a fwb with who was too into her., and I mentioned I had the same. Before she told me she said what happens when u fall for me.

    The problem with me is that I get over eager with girls. Wanna contact the next day etc

  9. #9
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shit I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    It's totally cool to contact the next day.
    Actually, girls WANT you to.

    Just don't come across as being needy or clingy.

    Do tell her you had a great time.
    Do tell her you're interested in seeing her again.

    But don't "smother" her or bombard her with texts, emails, or phone calls.

    My friend Dean Cortez shared a great quote last week:

    Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.

    Basically, allow her to have space. Express an ability to be perfectly fine on your own, while at the same time, show an interest in & appreciation of being with her.

    Just don't suffocate her.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: sh1t I met a girl for Friends with Benefits and I think I could her

    So today I asked her to chill later in the week. She said depending on work, but then realized she couldn't do the fwb. I told her the same, and said if you just wanna hang out without all the labels I'm down. Basically I realized this was a really cool chick and not the type I'm just wanna have a fwb. Since she just had broken up with someone who told me I had a really good time blah blah but I felt really sad when you left, and who knows probably the usual emotional pool of stuff a lot of women have.

    So I realize the timing is off, but can I save this. I asked her to chill ago, and she is seemed on and off . Told her that I realized I was done using people for sex, and she asking oh then what are you going to do for sex? She had a great time, and so did so I think its silly to have a semi-connection with someone and never see them. Is this saveable?


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