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  1. #1
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to talk to girl who has added you.

    Hey everyone,

    I've seen a lot of threads round this part of the forum asking how to open girls who added you on facebook.

    So I thought I would create a thread that talks about dealing with a girl who has added you, you have a few mutual friends, but you don't know her and she's basically a stranger. This doesn't just have to be about me but open to everyone.

    This happened to me recently and this is how I've dealt with it so far. I think its going ok but would like to hear your thoughts if you had any, or how others have approached this situation in the past.

    Right so, this strange girl who I don't know added me and then liked my profile picture, I left it a couple days before I sent her this message yesterday:

    "Hey, who are you and what are you doing on my computer?! :P"

    That was a line taken from a thread round here somewhere lol.

    anyway it seemed to work quite well as an opener as this is her reply:

    "How very abrupt :P
    Your pic came up on 'people you may know' and I thought I recognised you. On closer inspection, you were not who I thought, however you seem like an interesting individual so thought I might say hello, hope that's alright? How many instruments do you play?!!"

    This has given me loads I can talk about so I sent quite a long message in return. I think this works better at first with a stranger sending occasional messages rather than instant messages. I've seen other peoples conversations on here just die in instant messaging with a stranger.

    Anyway just thought this method has worked quite well so far so I thought I would share it. If you're interested or feel you can offer any advice. Here's the rest of the conversation so far:

    "Haha of course. I did something like that a few days ago, I thought I recognised someone and I was looking at her and we made eye contact for a few seconds except I didn't say hello, so I just looked like some weird guy staring at people..
    I play drums/percussion and piano, I had to sacrifice playing guitar otherwise I'd get nothing done. Do you play anything? I'm guessing you're really into music from our mutual friends. It's weird I don't know you actually, but I don't really see those guys very often anymore."

    Her:

    "lol I have gone as far as waving frantically at someone, who also was not who I thought!
    Awesome I am massively into music, taught myself a little guitar and piano, but unfortunately I'm better at listening to it rather than playing it! Who are your top 5 bands?
    Yeah right, I expect our paths have probably crossed at some point, but I only see them every couple of months or so now. Where do you usually go out?"

    I realise saying I looked a bit weird the other day was a dlv but its true and I thought it could build comfort and encourage conversation which I think it did. I'm gonna reply to this message and then hopefully start instant chatting maybe and try and seed a date into the conversation somehow.

    Anyway, thanks for reading that lengthy post, speak to ya soon

  2. #2
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to talk to girl who has added you.

    Actually I do need help answering her questions. They're boring. How do I control the conversation to keep it interesting? this is a sticking point of mine.

    Basically she mentioned shes waved at a stranger by accident before, then asked me my top five bands, and where do I usually go out?

    If I answer her questions and ask em back, thats boring. How do I keep it interesting??

  3. #3
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
    FriendzoneDominator is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to talk to girl who has added you.

    Answer the question half-hearted. You don't want to come out as you ignore it, but show that it's boring. Example:

    I like classical metal like Judas Priest, but depending on my mood, I appreciate hardstyle, synth and totally random stuff too.

    Have you done the cube test? It's a great way to get to know you

    (I just did the cube with a friend, and she loved it. I already knew her so my answer was pretty spot on, but if it's wrong is fine too. A tip for doing it via chat though: Start writing the analysis while she's describing the ladder, flowers, horse and clouds so that she doesn't have to wait in the end.)

  4. #4
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to talk to girl who has added you.

    Hey cheers for the advice, I already answered it though but it was quite similiar to what you said anyway. I answered her questions briefly and spoke about what music I like. I told her a few of the places I've been recently and asked her if she 'frequents any of those fine establishments' [my strange sense of humour at work here, and also im trying to seed some sort of date into it]
    before I ended it with the serious question thing ive just read about on here lol

    I said before I keep talking to you I have got a serious question that I need to ask you.

    Without saying what it was. Its probably gonna just be "Deep Purple or Led Zeppelin?" Shes into rock and metal and honestly, I won't be impressed if she answers with Led Zeppelin.:P

  5. #5
    MaestroMusician is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to talk to girl who has added you.

    I've heard about the cube and seen vids of style doing it. I don't think I know enough about it to do it in person, I could try online as you say. It sounds like a fairly difficult way of getting to know her though, is it worth it? hmm.. Maybe if I get the conversation going towards psychology I could do it so it wouldn't seem out of the blue.

  6. #6
    FriendzoneDominator's Avatar
    FriendzoneDominator is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to talk to girl who has added you.

    Yes, you get so many talking points about herself, her career, friends and most importantly: everything she wants from a lover.

    Another tip: If the discussion gets boring in the future, just go back to the cube conversation and ask more about some details there. I suck at relating stuff to music, but if you don't, you can say stuff like "I understand why you like this song/band, because it makes you feel xxx and you really want yyy bla bla".

    I hate discussing music, but now I start to think..."You know that song with the beat that goes, goes, goes, on, on, thrusting its way into your very soul... in, in, in, Oif! and Done!" (OK, I'm not trying hard here, but you get the idea. )


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