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  • 1 Post By uluvtheLD

Thread: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

  1. #1
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Angry Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Hello,
    A while back i started working hard on this area and i met this girl that i have come to love very much.i posted a few days back as to haw i moved on but the things is her memories keep hunting me.there's is this side of me that wants to master pua...i sold myself as the guy who really cared and something happened.

    i was afraid of being too needy so sometimes i wouldn't call her on purpose cuz i really liked her.the truth is she told me she loves me and i told her later.the only escalation i've done is kissing as she is a justifier(devalues sex) and since i loved her i wanted to appreciate her for her, the main reason why i run is i think i subconsciously communicated i will abandon her, but have deep feeling for her.

    currently she is not answering my calls.i think if i keep calling her i will run into the friend zone

    my question is haw do i get this girl and also master this area of my life.

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    You don't "love" her. You are infatuated with or lusting after her. You can't "love" someone until you've dealt with the worst shit they can throw at you, and then a little more, and still care for them.

    Are you being needy? Yes! Do you sound like a little bitch? Yes! If she isn't putting out should you move on? Yes!

    My guess is that you're a young guy/kid who still barely knows how the world works. If so, you're not going to listen to me anyway. So get your heart broke, mope around for a bit, then come back when you're ready to listen.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    uluvtheLD is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    Hello,
    A while back i started working hard on this area and i met this girl that i have come to love very much.i posted a few days back as to haw i moved on but the things is her memories keep hunting me.there's is this side of me that wants to master pua...i sold myself as the guy who really cared and something happened.

    i was afraid of being too needy so sometimes i wouldn't call her on purpose cuz i really liked her.the truth is she told me she loves me and i told her later.the only escalation i've done is kissing as she is a justifier(devalues sex) and since i loved her i wanted to appreciate her for her, the main reason why i run is i think i subconsciously communicated i will abandon her, but have deep feeling for her.

    currently she is not answering my calls.i think if i keep calling her i will run into the friend zone

    my question is haw do i get this girl and also master this area of my life.
    I agree with everything TheDuke is saying exept that the girl also sounds like she is very young and naive. In which case she also sounds super needy (especially since she said she loves you).

    Dont totally ignore her. But dont do all the chasing. Just relax and take her out, have a good time, and keep escalating. Youve already kissed her, now work yoru game towards getting to know her better and do more physical things with her as you do.

  4. #4
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    You don't "love" her. You are infatuated with or lusting after her. You can't "love" someone until you've dealt with the worst sh1t they can throw at you, and then a little more, and still care for them.

    Are you being needy? Yes! Do you sound like a little bitch? Yes! If she isn't putting out should you move on? Yes!

    My guess is that you're a young guy/kid who still barely knows how the world works. If so, you're not going to listen to me anyway. So get your heart broke, mope around for a bit, then come back when you're ready to listen.
    Thanks for your reply.I admit i kind of bent the rules a little bit here.. i do not understand the part you said about throwing every sh1t at you and showing you still care.I'm a young adult but level headed and responsible and am not going to let her lock me down.I actually decided to open up to other girls by reaching out after posting.so far got a few feedback(Number Close)Looking forward to becoming a master pua.thanks again

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Smile Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by uluvtheLD View Post
    I agree with everything TheDuke is saying exept that the girl also sounds like she is very young and naive. In which case she also sounds super needy (especially since she said she loves you).

    Don't totally ignore her. But dont do all the chasing. Just relax and take her out, have a good time, and keep escalating. Youve already kissed her, now work yoru game towards getting to know her better and do more physical things with her as you do.
    hey man.can't thank you enough for this post..i'm definitely considering that.for now i'll just keep seeing other girls..i cared for her but this is my shot.i'll keep posting updates.thanks

  6. #6
    OhSnap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    I usted to be like that myself, once I noticed I had crazy reactions from girls I went nuts and started chasing. I had this girl following me everywhere I went and when I started acting up. She backed off. I believed just like you I loved her but later too realize she's rather low value and I backed off. This happended once more later on and I backed off right after.

    What I have to say is stop seeking for girl's reaction, make your own fun, if she doesn't appeal to you (Doesn't answer calls, texts, answers you cold when talking ) just move on and find other people that are fun. Don't break your head for these girls even if you've been needy. When they see you later on stronger then ever they'll be drooling for you. Well.. they're most likely to get more attracted to you or attracted once more.

    Self love, avoiding validation and moving on its gonna help you out.

  7. #7
    monoposto is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    Thanks for your reply.I admit i kind of bent the rules a little bit here.. i do not understand the part you said about throwing every sh1t at you and showing you still care.I'm a young adult but level headed and responsible and am not going to let her lock me down.I actually decided to open up to other girls by reaching out after posting.so far got a few feedback(Number Close)Looking forward to becoming a master pua.thanks again
    What TheDuke is saying is, you can't truly love someone until you've been through very hard times with them, i.e. dealing with loss of family member, depression, them bringing you down/hurting you emotionally, etc.

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Cool Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by OhSnap View Post
    I usted to be like that myself, once I noticed I had crazy reactions from girls I went nuts and started chasing. I had this girl following me everywhere I went and when I started acting up. She backed off. I believed just like you I loved her but later too realize she's rather low value and I backed off. This happended once more later on and I backed off right after.

    What I have to say is stop seeking for girl's reaction, make your own fun, if she doesn't appeal to you (Doesn't answer calls, texts, answers you cold when talking ) just move on and find other people that are fun. Don't break your head for these girls even if you've been needy. When they see you later on stronger then ever they'll be drooling for you. Well.. they're most likely to get more attracted to you or attracted once more.

    Self love, avoiding validation and moving on its gonna help you out.
    Woah.Sounds like that girl was really attracted you.why did you let her chase you that hard.i agree on the point of not following reaction and creating your own reality.i've definitely done that in the past but learnt quickly.i saw this dynamic as different because to be really frank i was guilty.etc.moved on anyways haven't still called her.working on other things.thanks

  9. #9
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Post Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by monoposto View Post
    What TheDuke is saying is, you can't truly love someone until you've been through very hard times with them, i.e. dealing with loss of family member, depression, them bringing you down/hurting you emotionally, etc.

    ok thats nice.awesome!!!thank s

  10. #10
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Post Re: Need help with this girl i love ..not my girfriend

    Update:
    So i got this new girl on whatsapp I've been chatting since yesterday.i wanted to delete the other one from my list since her number is stacked on my other sim.i visit her page and see something very wierd.

    a)She keeps changing her profile photo when i was there
    b)When i came and i saw her i immediately logged off and came back on and her time seen was i min after i had left.had to reply the other girl.
    c)She seems to be appear online fews secs after i arrive then changes photos..

    How would one go about initiating convo in this situation.have done a lot of phone game but online not that much.

    N.B.i did not type anything i just ignored it.but makes me think could be an ioi.

    before i ended this post she is at it again.


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