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  • 3 Post By EMSaenz
  • 2 Post By costarica
  • 2 Post By costarica

Thread: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

  1. #1
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    So, I've been on a couple of dates with this lady (the one I actually mentioned in my last thread - Apparently im dating a brick).

    All good, great connection, second date finished with a kiss, tons of plans for the future (I like to make the most aggressive suggestions: "we'll go to the Bahamas and have an exotic drink on the beach!"; and then change to slight less demanding plans). Great!

    Next day, waited for her text. Again all good. Monday she asked if we had a date for the week. Yeah we did. Tuesday I see her (the date was wednesday) and she was with friends and not in the most ideal place for affection so I simply said hello and asked how she was. Like I always do.

    This time I noticed she was probably expecting something more, but we did not talk it over on whether we were starting a relationship or not.

    So all of a sudden she flakes to our date. I didn't say it was ok, I let her know I had booked something for us, but I wouldn't have fun with her tired and ill.

    She replies all the time. Apologizing and such. But I've noticed she is upset. Shorter replies, emotionless...

    I'm gonna take the fact that she's still texting as an ioi. She's only off at something I did.

    My question is: what exactly to do?

    At the moment I didn't reply back to her last text, I have the policy of not replying to stupidity. Whenever I read something I don't like I just don't reply.

    In this case I'm quite clueless. Should I call her and ask her to be honest? Should I wait till I see her again and then talk to her (which would only be next tuesday, so like 5 days after the last text)?

    Moving on is not a problem, don't mean to sound AFC, but I actually had some good expectations about my future with this lady and I absolutely hate to leave things in unsolved terms.

    Regards,
    Jok3r
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  2. #2
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    The amount of text I wrote is probably a good indicator that I should not text her now. I have no emotional control at the moment. It's like I lost one of my testicles and my testosterone levels just halved
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    Forget about it. She missed a date and apologized. It sounds like everything is still good. Let it go and ask her out again. Don't let yourself fall into a state of insecurity. You had your chance to punish her and you did, a little but enough. If you continue badgering her about it, you'll seem petty and jealous - don't be that guy.
    Carpe diem!

  4. #4
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    You probably didn't do anything.

    Most likely:

    1. She has another guy competing for her attention.
    2. She has emotional baggage issues that prevents her from getting close (ie: she's been hurt too many times).

    In any event your plan of attack should be:

    STEP 1 - EMSaenz << he is correct here. The first time with this, just let it go, give her a small spanking and allow her to correct her behavior.

    STEP 2 - If she doesn't correct it then:
    a. Escalate and start the process over again. it's the same concept as LMR. She was attracted once, so she can be attracted again. but this time assume you have competition when you are not around.

    STEP 3 - If she STILL doesn't correct it then either:
    a. ** ask her point-blank what the hell her problem is and whether she wants to continue or not and if not, to stop wasting your time (last resort).
    b. ** OR be nicer and just ask if there are any things preventing her from feeling as good as she once did with you... << my personal preference.

    STEP 4 - CONTROVERSIAL - This is something I do ALL THE TIME, but some people will probably tell you it can backfire (which it can, but it has never with me) - Leave small "remember me's" on her body like drawing a small mark in magic marker on her butt, or, my personal favorite, leave a hickey on her inner thigh or boob just near her panty-line or inside her bra area. Then I will, maybe once a day, text her and say, "hey, touch my mark and breathe slow and imagine me there. you know that's hot. can't wait till next time " -- this is a slight NLP thing I did that gets her in a sexual escalated mood out of the blue when you aren't even there... The downside to this (hasn't happened to me, but it's a risk worth mentioning) is that she can think you are a freak and afraid to hook up with you again because she is seeing other guys. I've always just said, "hey, if any other guys see this, just let them know they are RENTING my property now" and I laugh about it. This indicates that you are slightly possessive but that you are also sexual aware. This is extremely, extremely addicting to most girls (from my experience anyway).
    - CR

  5. #5
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    Great advice! Just texted her asking if she's better from her illness and decided to throw in a nickname we had sorted and I had never used.

    I'll try and escalate if I get a neg, I'll ask what I can do to make her feel better. If I get another neg then my head is clear and I'm ok with moving on. I just need to be sure I'm guilt free.

    Doubt there's any other competition, and even so, I know I'm top notch

    Thanks!
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  6. #6
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    If you believe there is no other competition, then trust me on this: practice.

    Once you have escalated a girl to kissing-compliance, then consider yourself in a world where you should either use it or practice with it.

    Consider the amount of time you spend actually getting girls to the kiss-compliance phase. At that point, if you know or believe you are going to lose it, then it's the BEST time to practice things you have never done before just to see how things play out for you. Don't waste practice time on ones that you want to keep because those are the girls you can just be normal or use what works.

    For example, in this case, just keep doing something until you just blow out. Literally. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain (even if it's only experience). I NEVER EVER EVER let a girl out of my grips without a few last "well hell, let me try this and see what happens."

    You will find more often than not that 1) you take more risks once you care less, and 2) those extended risks are what truly gets you to a self-awareness and ability-level that you normally wouldn't get to without risk-taking.

    My cocky-funny game became top-notch because of the last-minute pitches i threw to girls who I was "losing" and then they picked up the ball and threw it back... I realized that going out on a limb with some of the things you do and say requires 1) not overly-caring about the result, 2) the balls to actually do something that you woudn't normally do, and 3) accepting that the risk rate can be dramatically higher. But eventually this becomes second-nature and you wake up one day and realize that you can now throw all kinds of pitches that no one else in your social circle can do because you've tested so many off-the-wall things.

    For example, I have a girl that I left in Costa Rica and I knew I wouldn't see her for maybe 2 months and I knew she was seeing other guys. So each week I text her to write my name on her boobs with a marker and send me a pic. She actually did it, and when I got back she was on me daily. It's little things like this that I now realize I can do all the time, but when I first started, I don't think I would have had the nerve to do because it seemed just too far out there...

    Long story short: 1) use it, 2) lose it, or 3) practice with it. #2 should never be an option.
    - CR

  7. #7
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    I'm the most cocky funny guy in the world. On our last date I didn't even tell her where we were going, she only knew when we arrive. I told her we were going to the Bahamas but she had to swim across the ocean.

    Random farks are easy and doable. Random kisses even easier. But I've noticed that ever since I start dating more seriously, even when I don't lose my "alpha posture" some sh1t seems to happen. I've noticed that what I've done wrong in the past is actually assuming early that sh1t has happened, what changes my posture completely.

    This time I'm trying to never mention the negative aspects of her texts. Or better said, I don't approach the negative as a negative, I reply with a positive.

    So far it has been working fine.

    A movie that has changed a lot my perspective in life is "The Secret". Positive thinking -> positive outcome. Most of the time at least. So I'll enjoy this one. Keep my posture, try everything out.
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  8. #8
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    News flash: apparently it's all good again. She corrected her behaviour. On for some more fun.

    Much appreciated.
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  9. #9
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly upset/hurt - Disregard or Act?

    Update:

    Well, she appears to still be upset or whatever is equivalent to having the period without being the time for it.

    So she now didn't reply to a flirty text. Even though her last text actually involved info about her day that I didn't ask. So shitloads of mixed signals.

    Here's the deal: I got a date with another woman and I have at least another two that I can get a date with in the near future. For as nice as this sounds, there is one thing that I absolutely hate:

    Not knowing! I prefer to be rejected for the most humiliating reason, but not knowing why there as been such a drastic change in behaviour is something that drives me crazy.

    I'm pretty sure it's because she was expecting a warmer greeting when I saw her after our second date, but in all fairness it wasn't the time or place for it.

    So, I don't think calling her out is the best, it usually just destroys everything even more. But not doing anything will probably do the same... What advice can you give?
    Veni, vidi, vici.


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