I was wondering if I could get a little feedback on a first date, and the resulting fall-out. I'll try to be as detailed as possible about the whole thing, but naturally won't be able to recall everything perfectly the first go-around so feel free to ask questions! Thank you in advance, and here goes...
I've had a range of success with attractive women via online dating over the years, and met this girl on Match; a 9/10 all day. Well, we exchanged a few messages, and she admitted that she was flattered that I was interested in her, and repeatedly told me that I was kind, handsome, funny, and wanted to meet up with me at some point. It took about a month and a half though, as she was going through severe anxiety issues at the time (found out later on the date it was 3 different counselors she was seeing at one time), but wouldn't you know that she sent a message to me on FB when she was ready to "get out there" again saying she wanted to meet up (apparently I was still somewhere in the forefront of her mind despite not communicating for over a month). So, after crafting a funny and adventurous reply, she was full of anticipation... gave me her # without me even asking for it. Told her I'd be gone for a bit on a trip, and didn't bother to contact her until about a week or so after I got the number. From there, I used "Magnetic Messaging" (Bobby Rio) as my text templates... conversations were kept very brief, and always entertaining to the point where she told me to stop as people were looking at her weird for randomly bursting out laughing in the middle of the gym. So, she tells me she's free on Saturday afternoon, Sunday, or Monday evening, and mentions a few times how she is really looking forward to meeting me finally.
So, date comes, and right off the bat we have great rapport. The plan was drinks and food for a bit, then ice skating. I made sure to initiate physical contact within the first couple minutes, touching her arm & shoulder, and have her undivided attention... making her smile, getting her to open up slowly-but-surely, etc. Then, I neg her a bit... she starts to tell me about allergies and mentions that she has psoriasis all over her body and I was like "Wait... what?! It's the first date, and you tell me you have Psoriasis all over your body?" And she just FREEZES like a deer caught in headlights. This was hilarious... it put her in a real closed, timid posture like I was the last person on the planet she would expect to hear that from, and told me "Oh my god, you're so mean!"--so, I took advantage of her posture to then put my arm around her and hold her tight like she needed to be cheered up and she moved her body into me... totally receptive. Create a little chaos, and then bring order. Oh, by the way... the psoriasis wasn't visible at all, haha.
Anyway, night goes on and the physical contact escalates and I'll introduce some sexual tension every now and then by coming off as a compassionate listener, but interject it with something that will just totally throw her off her game. Working like a charm... in fact, before we knew it, it was 8:25 and the skating rink closed at 8:50. As a result, we wound up just continuing the date there, with her saying we can go ice skating another day, which was cool. So, I gave her a massage that put her half-way to sleep, and told her to massage my hand in return since it's sore as heck now. She obliged and, being a pedicure/manicure gal, she gave me the best hand massage of a life time. Once she was done with the hand massage, she proceeded to put my hand on her leg, where I kept it up until the point where I noticed she was cold and pulled her in close to warm her up (huge smile on her face when I did this).
For the last hour of the date, I could tell that her waking up at 5 am that day to fly back to upstate NY from NYC, plus the massage, was really taking its toll on her. So, she grabbed my leg and said something to the extent of "alright, it's not you at all but I really am exhausted now" and I understood so I busted on her for being boring to get her laughing, then helped her into her coat, gave her my arm to walk her out, and guided her to her car.
At this point, I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek, and she said that it was "great to finally meet me!" with a big smile on her face, and mentioned ice skating again. I mentioned tomorrow and she said that'd be perfect, and then I went in for a kiss and, while not a long one, it was a short kiss on the lips. I should also mention that she was pretty clear that she's not looking for a relationship, but just dating and friends for now. Makes sense given that she's still a (in her words) "work in progress".
So, fast-forward to the day after... I open up with a "magnetic" text to setup the ice skate date for the day around noon, and she mentions how she's still in bed and even missed her 8 am yoga class, and probably wouldn't have energy to do much of anything. No reaction to the humorous part of my text as she did in all interactions prior to meeting me. So, I followed up with a comment about how the NYC trip + the salad from the pub must have really of done a number on her, and she replied about 6 hours later agreeing, and mentioned how she slept through the entire day. Additionally, she's got a "raging headache" and found out her mother is unable to find a job at our city (she works across the country), meaning she won't return, and actually asked her to move across country to meet her so she was feeling pretty crappy from that. So, I figured the best thing for me to do was just back off... I'm not her boyfriend, just some dude she had a fun first date with. Contacted her today in the morning with a clever yet cheesy text to get her laughing (as the prior ones have) that doubled as an attempt to set up a date with her. No reply to the humor aspect of it all, just a:
"Sorry I can not tonight. I work late"
I just left it at that, no reason to continue texting, and she wasn't lying... I told her 8 PM, and she gets out of work at at least 7:30 today (her long day of the week).
Now, I'm not looking to get into a relationship either... just got out of a 2+ year one in early December that made me feel like a chained-up animal (finally FREE!). So, my approach here is to simply listen to what she said... she wants dating (sex) and friends (meet new people... ie. - introduce my awesome friends to her), which rocks. Thing is, I am getting absolutely NO emotional reaction out of any of her replies now... she's not initiating any texts, and even with Bobby Rio's stuff, I'm curious as to if anybody has any feedback as to how to build intrigue in her again. If we were on a date together, that wouldn't be an issue at all.. but seems like I need to re-ignite that spark over the phone in order to get to that second date.
This is confusing to me, because I've never had a first date go great, and then not have an awesome response from xyz woman afterward. Friend of mine suggested just keeping it casual... contact her once a week if I have something fun going on, and invite her out.
PS - That outdoor ice skating rink is only open till this Sunday, not sure if inviting her out to something today (thursday) and then trying to follow up on that on sunday without the right approach would be the best thing to do in this scenario...