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  • 1 Post By Mr8Hyde6

Thread: I have no idea what she wants, how should I approach this?

  1. #1
    fmfan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question I have no idea what she wants, how should I approach this?

    We haven't met, but been getting to know each other the past 3 months, flirting with each other over text and phone, etc.

    However, she seemed off last week, basically conversation went:

    me - Wouldn't mind getting to know you more :-) x
    her - What do you want to know x
    me - Wondering when you are free at the weekend for me to call you? x
    her - Got a pretty busy weekend to be fair like i dunno if i'll have time! x
    me - It's alright I get the hint, i guess that offer of taking you out will have to go to somebody else x
    her - I just feel a bit weird about talking to someone on the phone and stuff that i've never met or seen, sorry if you think that is weird x
    me - was suggesting we could meet soon, but if that's what you really want... x
    her - Meeting a randomer though.. It's like, i dunno. x
    me - if it's because you like someone else then do that, at least you'll be happier. I'm alright meeting up but if you aren't then I can't force it.. You seem to have your mind made up x
    her - No its not that. But i have a very over protective best friend who seems to think you're going to kidnap me and keep me in your basement x
    me - Haha, sense of humour too! I wouldn't risk my future like that for the sake of a girl, but if its something you're not comfortable with, not much I can do.. I'd want you to be safe x
    her - And i do want to see ya but want to make my friend happy and prove it's legit first x

    Then I don't reply until early afternoon the next day..

    me - I'd only consider meeting you if it was a public place and you brought a mate along x

    Then she doesn't reply.

    Late that night I decide to unfollow some people on Twitter on my phone and unfollow her without realising I had done so she sends me a text about it (and somehow ignoring my earlier one). She also somehow realises I unfollowed her (accidentally) so she could have been on my profile?

    her - Unfollowing me, mature
    me - was unfollowing some people on my phone, must have clicked yours accidentally x"
    her - I doubt that very much
    me - It wasn't intentional
    her - I'ma bust yo assss
    me - You wish
    her - Stop being grumpy with me or i'll have to..
    me - ... 'accidentally' unfollow me!
    her - We going to keep arguing then yeah?
    me - Unless you have it in your heart to forgive me
    her - Sarcastic
    me - Shouldn't you be in bed?
    her - I'm older than you, so if i should be in bed you should definitely be asleep
    me - Not thinking of grassing me up are you?
    her - I won't tell if you don't
    me - Be our little secret

    This happened until 2am (my last reply being around 9am as I fell asleep)

    So basically, I have no idea what she wants. No idea if she is making excuses to not meet up or is scared to, but I decided to back off and not act as interested, or at least not give as much attention. Not sure what to do now though.. I feel like leaving it a week to see if she decides to make contact, or send her a text teasing her about the twitter thing? Why does she tell me she finds it weird talking to someone she hasn't met, yet reacts playfully towards the end? Unsure what she wants, how should I try to approach this?

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I have no idea what she wants, how should I approach this?

    From what it seems, I am guessing you met her via online.

    A lot of times, girls HATE the whole waiting game with online meeting.
    Where you went wrong is waited 3 weeks or so. It shouldn't be that long. You trying to convince her by saying it's ok if she is happy with someone else is needy. She sees that. I know you were trying to see if maybe she would of said something like, "no, I def wanna see you."

    But it wasn't playing out that way. She was getting a little flirty with the "ima bust yo a$$" thing so you should of went along with it in a different way. Been like, "you never met me know you wanna bust my a$$?"... You should of kept the flirting alive and not have dwelled on the unfollowing thing. Girls take that stuff so personally.

    I had an ex who I broke up with so I unfriended her on FB. Reason being is I didn't wanna see anything on her wall and didn't want to give her the pleasure of being able to creep mine. It actually drove her nuts, she texted me in the same manner too. She thought it was immature, I just didn't care.

    She realized it, 2 days later, calls me wanting me back. Don't let her control the conversation as she has.
    When my ex brought up the fb thing, I flat out controlled the conversation by ignoring it. Let her think of the reasons, who cares if her mind wanders.

    You have to play it cool and not get trapped in girl's emotional games. They love it and thrive on it, and guess what, they are DAMN good at it. Better than any man can be because they are bred to feel and understand emotions. Our weapon is logic and playing it cool.

    To be honest, she is timid to meet someone she doesn't know. Ease that for her. Don't play too cocky (as you did), but be confident and funny.

    If a girl wants to see you, she will. She uses her friend feeling scared about it as an excuse. It can mean two things, 1) she actually has a friend who is scared, BUT, she has been talking to her about you, or 2) she is making an excuse to not see you.

  3. #3
    fmfan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I have no idea what she wants, how should I approach this?

    Thanks for the response! Great advice.

    How would I go from here though? I was wondering whether to not contact her for a while and see if she does, or send her a text such as "am i still in your bad books?" but I feel that's the wrong thing to say..

    Been out the game for a while, wondering what to send, whether I should.. something to tease her?

  4. #4
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I have no idea what she wants, how should I approach this?

    It sounds to me (and forgive me, I admit I didn't read all the posts in their entirety, but I got the gist) that you've flirted and have gotten some general attraction, but haven't yet gained or built nay level of comfort or trust with her. For all she knows, you could be some kind of crazy serial killer or rapist, so she's got some right to be defensive (not that you are, of course).

    What I would suggest is (because she's been honest and told her being uncomfortable meeting a guy online) is try and do things that show her that you're taking her concerns into consideration and try to build that comfort with her.

    Things like offering to Skype/FaceTime, talking on the phone, etc. Things that are a bit more personal then texting or talking online.


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