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  1. #1
    GreatDane is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I think I blew it, need advice

    Background- Met her at new years dance, went on 4 dates, 2 make outs, then she had to fly to Alaska to work. Texted her about once per week, kept it flirty and fun. Mid-February she texted me at night saying that she misses me like crazy. We set up something to do when she gets back from Alaska. I wanted to "play it cool" and not tell her that I miss her a lot too. Found out she wouldn't be coming around until a few months, and she said she was way bummed out and missed me a lot. I decided try and be "super-unneedy" and told her I feel guilty that she misses me so much, because there's probably a lot of great stuff in Alaska that she missing because she is thinking about a guy that is 1,000 miles away from her.

    Needless to say I was kicking myself in the balls a few days later. Decided to act like nothing had happened and sent her a playful text

    Me: Today is a special day
    Her: Because
    Me: (with picture of mad hatter and rabbit in original alice in wonderland) Why, it's your unbirthday, of course! Happy unbirthday.
    Her: But of course! Why didn't I think of that?
    Me: It's okay. Everyone has their special moments (kinda referring to my own previous stupidity)
    Her: Indeed.

    Then a few nights ago I was going crazy thinking about her and we had this convo:

    Me: Look, I've got an early morning tomorrow and I can't fall asleep with you jumping around my mind like this. Please leave me alone for a minute.
    Her: Just do the Harlem Shake. All will be well.
    Me: That sounds like something that would just keep me awake. Maybe I'll use a sledgehammer instead.
    Her: Lemme know how that goes for you...
    Me: Didn't work. Now I have a goose egg on the side of my head and I'm still awake.
    Her: That is not ideal.
    Me: That sounds like something Stephen Hawkins' talking computer would say.

    No reply after that last one and not one since. Maybe I'm just freaking out too much, but I have noticed a definite shift in her tone since we were communicating before I decided to share my enlightenment with her. Should I wait for a long time and try calling her? I haven't called her the whole time. She flies back in May. I've dated and even kissed a few other girls, but it's just not the same. Any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I think I blew it, need advice

    Look at this way... She is 1000 miles away and contrary to that stupid saying, distance DOES NOT make the heart grow fonder.

    Don't take it too personal. It's probably the distance she is used to and her mind made her realize that "yeah, maybe I will meet him up when I get back." Otherwise, it's a few months away.

    I wouldn't of said the sledgehammer thing, the mad hatter thing was good, but the sledgehammer makes you look like you want to hurt yourself. Not saying you do, but you get my drift.

    Let it be man. Keep in touch so when she does get back, you can meet up and rekindle that flame. But distance is like seeping oxygen, it will smother that flame.

  3. #3
    Icarus's Avatar
    Icarus is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I think I blew it, need advice

    I'm going to start making my responses in the forms of lists. I like lists.

    1) When you mess up, don't call attention to it later. A lot of mistakes are only noticed when you acknowledge them.
    2) You obviously like this girl a lot, and you're letting your emotions make stupid decisions; you should have let her text you.
    3) Don't text her again until she texts you; you don't have control over the situation at this moment.

    Just wait her out. Unless theres something you aren't telling us, she will text you again; it's obvious when you are trying to force conversation IE: sending her weird photos of cartoons. You have to wait for that power pendulum swing back in your favor. You are over thinking this, someone doesn't go from missing you(AKA thinking about you on a regular enough basis to where she even texts how she feels to you) to not wanting to talk to you at all.
    Rule Number 1: You are not a PUA.

  4. #4
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I think I blew it, need advice

    During the initial periods of meeting someone and dating you have to display characteristics of being independent, aloof, confidence, and being alpha. A lot of new guys wonder what this alpha thing all about is but it just being a strong man and displaying a lot of confidence. The touchy feely stuff you did on sending her a birthday text and picture and the sledgehammer thing could possibly point to your lack of confidence and neediness and letís face it that type of stuff is good only after you have been in the relationship awhile and still should be used sparingly.

    Just let it go for now and get your life back on track so you wonít think about her so often and look forward to her coming back in May. You need to wait because she will call you but you have to get the upper hand again because now she has it and know it. The more you think about her and the longer it goes before she texts you or anything the more you will devise ways to get her to contact you the more it will make you seem desperate. I know it will be hard to wait for her contact but you will be better off for it and worth the wait.


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