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  • 2 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

  1. #1
    Harky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    So there is this girl that started in my class a couple of months back, and I decided to get to know her better. Turns out she's a virgin (at 18), which surprised me alot. So I decided to hang out with her a few times, to see what happens. I built alot of attraction and noticed multiple ioi's popping, and I hopped right into rapport. We got to know each other and eventually she started sexting me, asking me about relationships, telling me that I'm the perfect guy for her, talking about kissing me.

    Here's where the hard part comes. A few weeks ago she told me about a certain guy that she'd crushed on for "almost a year", that's been in a relationship the whole time with another girl. She says that she doesn't want to enter a relationship because all she wants is him, and says stuff like "I could be in a relationship with you, but you have to accept me loving him", which I took for a congruence-test.

    So we hung out one day at my place, ended up kissing, and her response was "No, we can't do this!", complaining about her "one true love". She's still sexting and talking about a relationship with me. She's acting like she's in love with me but denies it. However, she's told other girls to "go grab him before I take him for myself", apparently everyone needs a fair shot.. heh.

    I'm very much into this girl (more than I usually am), but this is just messing with my head. Any ideas of what's going on? Cheers in advance.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    This is one of those instances you have to stand firm & tell her exactly what you want, & what you expect.

    "It's me & only me... otherwise I'm not doing this."

    A girl who is "in love" with someone she's never even been in a relationship with either has illusions of grandeur, or she's a mental case.

    Personally, I'd cut this one loose & move on.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    She sounds like she's way to dramatic, almost like she's trying to make this type of situation happen. It all sounds like a big game to me, I personally would not take part in it.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  4. #4
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    She sounds like a complete nutter butter

    If you want a shot then I'd say cut her off give her T-mal's ultimatum, then freeze her out and wait for her to come to you. She wants things she can't have, so best route possible is to make yourself unavailable.

    To be honest I really don't think she is emotionally mature enough for a relationship. If you go there I have strong suspicions it would end badly for you so save yourself some grief.

  5. #5
    Harky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    Thanks for all the replies!
    Def not continuing with this one. She can play her games on some other poor boy heh

  6. #6
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    I understand this one, I just had to cut loose the most beautiful woman I have ever dated over some stuff like this, except she had been in a relationship with a guy, and I knew something was still going on and it made her be weird, but she wouldn't tell me the truth, or lie to me about it either for that matter. She never really wanted to end it with him, and never really got her closure.

    Sometimes, no matter how much we don't want to, we have to walk away. If she ever told me I had to accept her loving him to be with her, I would totally end it right there, like a dick too .
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  7. #7
    Mark Cassidy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    Broken heart girls are dangerous. You'll want to help her, be her hero but you don't understand that this "I'm broken and I need attention and love" is just a phase, not her way to be.

    And when she'll dump you, not need so much attention, not rely on you / not consider you so important, you'll wonder what happened.

    So it's best if you stay away. It's not a rule but common sense.

  8. #8
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    It sounds to me like she's living through you to get what she wants (and isn't getting) from someone else. No matter how good her intentions might seem to be, there's no use trying to be with someone who's always looking out of the corner of her eye at someone else.

    Plan and simply, your stance should be "it's me and only me, there's no room to love someone else".

    She also sounds like she's a stage-10 clinger. And I would stay away from them anyway. She sounds like you'd be a first for a lot of things with her, and if things went south, things would be VERY bad.

  9. #9
    justindc is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    T-Mal hit that on the head. I avoid these types - they have no idea what they want, talk constantly, and the lame projected-love sex is not nearly as spontaneous or fun as with a healthy un-mind-fucked person, definitely not worth the headache from all their drama..

  10. #10
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with 'broken hearted' girl

    So, she's a virgin. My advice (learned the hard way...): let it go.

    I dated one virgin for one and a half year, we had no sex, no matter how hard we tried (even oral sex, she didn't to a thing), and yes, she loved me, I know it for sure.

    And if she's kind (my ex-gf was...), it will be very painfull to you when the break up time comes, since it's going to be you who will break up, because on her mind, things will work out.


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