I usually don't initiate many posts, but this one I'm starting so I can refer back to it as it seems I keep seeing the same issue come up over and over in so many of the posts I'm reading. It's concerns "inner game" vs. "outer game" vs. "state" (nuance stuff).
It's 3am, I've had 3 beers, and I'm probably about to be either vague or long-winded, but in any case, I'm brain dumping anyway...
After 6 years of constant studying and practicing around the world, I believe, and can assure you that that the absolute single most fundamental, number one, factor that dictates, without fail, the level of success anyone will have is this "game" is something that we don't really have a good name for. It's what what some people call "state", I call "energy", some called "turned on", some call "in the zone", others call "natural" and what star wars nerds call "the force."
Does it mean being "hyper?" - Nope. Being hyper can sometimes help and sometimes hurt. What about being loud or agressive? Nope... Not even close
So what is it??
Damn it, after all this time, I can't put a pin on it. In fact I can only describe it.
Is it confidence? - Well not really. I mean confidence helps, but hell, we are all overly-confident in many things, but not others, right?. And most of us have recognized how to remain humble in many cases, so this definitely isn't it.
What about "fearlessness?" -- Kind of, but not 100%. Fear and danger are entirely different things, but even knowing you are in danger of failing with a girl, and "not caring" because you are fearless just isn't what this "thing" is that I am trying to describe.
What about "being alpha." -- No. Alphas are assholes. Even when we know we can out game, out talk, out smart, out fight and out do any guy around us... Those of us who have felt this "thing" recognize that it can be fun sometimes to be an alpha, but it's not what really causes this magnetic and euphoric appeal that causes women to absolutely gravitate towards us.
What about "just not giving a sh1t" -- It's not this either. I mean, personally, I always care to some extent because I want to succeed all the time.
What about "cocky-funny"...? Nope. I mean this often happens when we are "in-state" but if we are truly "in this zone" then we can turn on a dime when necessary and recognize that we cocky-funny needs to go away for a few minutes and we need to put on a new game face because the situation just changed.
So maybe it's "absolutely situational awareness with the ability to act with an academy award winning performance"...? Is that it? Well not really, because when we really are in this zone, we don't even have the Mindset that we are acting. In fact, we are just existing and everything is flowing through us, like a drug, almost beyond our control...
The only way I can describe this "thing" it is this: Somewhere in everyones life, they have an ability to be in a zone where everything just clicks. They can see things in slow motion. They feel good physically, they know they can have what they want, they are just happy with who they are in that moment, they are enjoying themselves, and for a moment in time the feel like they are in complete control. They are partially fearless, partially not giving a sh1t, and partially just in the center of their very own universe. But more than anything, everyone around them can FEEL this and are magnetically drawn towards them for reasons that they can't even understand.
Go watch the Matrix, and try to imagine being Neo during the "bullet time" video sequences. Imagine that level of control. Then imagine the cool force-sh1t that darth vader has, the charisma that tom cruise in Top Gun had, and the euphoria you feel after maybe 1 beer (just enough to feel good). Consolidate all of that into a single shot of "good feeling" and then inject it into your veins and just go out and enjoy life. Imagine meeting your HB10 and knowing that everyone around you is thinking of YOU as the HB10. You are the absolute sh1t, you are happy, cool, confident, and just don't even care because you are enjoying your life and happy to know that you can have whatever you want.
During that moment in time, you will find that your success rate climbs to an ungodly high level, girls talk to you, guys talk to you, everyone loves you, and you absolutely feel on top of the world. All of the stupid-ass routines that NEVER worked for you actually work like a charm now. In fact, you get away with saying the dumbest sh1t in the world, and it STILL WORKS. You can't explain why. The only thing you can do is explain the "feeling" that you have when all this comes together.
Then... for no reason, along the path of life, whether it's an hour, a week, or a month later, that "thing" goes away, and you find yourself going through the same motions and routines trying to get it back, but nothing works! You panic. You can't figure out how you "lost your groove" or "whether the force is now gone" and you can only get frustrated and go through the same steps as before trying to get that "thing" back.
For some people, injecting drugs can give them back a high. For some, it's alcohol. For some, it's money, fame, and speed. But with being social and PUA, it's not so black and white. It's a mixture of your own psychology, sociological surroundings, life situations, relationship situations, etc.. all rolled up into one.
The one thing about being in in this community, it's damn near ceartain that studying, communicating, and practicing everything we learn will eventually cause us to wake up from life find this "thing" inside of us which brings together ALL the feelings that I've described above. Yet even when that moment happens, and it will, no one that I know of (including me) can ever seem to really explain how it happened, how to repeat it, or how to make it "turn on" on command.
The first time you ever recognize you are TRULY in-state and that you out-game/out-perform/and out-do everyone around you for a moment in time, you are going to sit there in bewilderment and probably sh1t your pants.
As stupid as this sounds, there really is this moment of enlightenment where you sit back, look at the world around you and say to yourself "oh my god. i cannot believe i can now see the world as i see it now. and i have idea why i had to spend years reading books and doing approaches and all that crazy stuff. i could have done whatever i wanted the entire time, met women at-will, and realized that the only thing that ever really mattered is that the people around me FEEL the energy that I am now giving off."
The energy that you give off during these moments of "being in state" will hands-down over-shadow anything and everything you've ever done in your "outer game" and when it hits for the first time, you will recognize the power of "inner game."
Even now after all this time, I cannot get to this level of "state" on-command. In fact, I don't know anyone who can. I just know damn well how to recognize it, and how to really just enjoy it and make myself turn off "game" when I feel it and just enjoy it like a drug (no i'm not a drug addict).
Maybe somewhere deep down, we've come in touch with our own ability to just be happy with who we are and where we are... Maybe it's that socially, we as males have been so sexually repressed because women have controlled the keys to vagina for thousands of years and, more importantly, our lives since we first discovered our penis pre-puberty. Maybe it's that we feel like for a brief moment in time that neither women, nor pussy, nor alpha males, or our work or situational life controls us. We are who we want to be.
So maybe, the real word for this "thing" is: freedom. Temporary, but absolute, freedom... And once you find, and feel, this freedom, you will realized that you've experienced a side of life that few, if any, people ever do in their x-years of existence on this planet. This may never "fix us" nor will it remove all the problems from our lives, but undoubtedly it will change us forever; in a good way.
And that is how I describe being "in state."