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Thread: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

  1. #1
    Perez91 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    I went on a date with an okcupid girl and really liked her. We talked for over an hour and a half and then it got awkward when I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. We did go for the walk but we were running out of topics and I regretted not ending the date after coffee.

    I have not heard from her and was wondering if I should message her and tell her I had fun and would like to ask her on a real date? Or if she was suppose to have messaged me if she was interested?


    I'm new to this online dating thing.

  2. #2
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    Quote Originally Posted by Perez91 View Post
    I went on a date with an okcupid girl and really liked her. We talked for over an hour and a half and then it got awkward when I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. We did go for the walk but we were running out of topics and I regretted not ending the date after coffee.

    I have not heard from her and was wondering if I should message her and tell her I had fun and would like to ask her on a real date? Or if she was suppose to have messaged me if she was interested?


    I'm new to this online dating thing.
    You have her number, right? CALL HER. Anything else is passive aggressive and will just re-affirm (in her mind) that you're beta and not worthy. You need to reassure her without seeming like that's what you're trying to do. Know what you're gonna say and make sure it's funny and seems spontaneous. Refer to something you laughed about on the date. Anticipate what she might say and have responses prepared. Ask her if she'd like to meet up with you again. Then ask her out somewhere fun that you've thought of in advance. Don't be afraid to make it somewhere a little intimate but it has to be somewhere you can talk and show her you're the guy for her. I would advise escalating to at least a k-close on this date but that's really your call. If she's not into it, tell her you had a great time but you didn't think it was the right fit either and you just didn't wanna give up on her too quickly if she felt differently. Be a gentleman, not mean or sarcastic in any way.

    OK, now as for what you did wrong initially...
    You should NEVER have that kind of first date with an Internet chick...you need to set a false time constraint to avoid exactly this type of situation and also ease her mind so that way, she gets it in her head that she can relax because it's "only half an hour." I don't advise going over half an hour for the exact reasons you encountered. You should whet her appetite and leave her wanting more. You want her to go home and touch herself that night while she thinks about you, not think "Another weirdo". If she feels like she's already heard everything you have to say, why should she go out with you again yknow? Plus, maybe you don't even really like her once you meet up with her. You really just wanna get a feel for things on your first date with an Internet stranger. Got it now?

    Urbancowboy out!

  3. #3
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    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    Listen to the boy of the black and white female animals, he's right.
    You should have a false time constraint. Always

    Well, not always, if you're about to fuck her, it's not that good to be short on time, otherwise she'll see you as a fast gunner or disinterested.

    1h and a half with her? Dude, that's too long. Keep it for a maximum of half and hour at the coffee. If she's up to your standards, you can always walk with her a little bit, some tickling, or some hand wrestling or shit like that...

    But always have a time constraint. Don't give excuses, don't say "oh, I'm sorry, I can't be with you any longer, because I gotta go here and here", just state "well, now I gotta go". Leave when you feel the meet is blasting. It will leave her hanging for more.

    Props and listen to urbancowboy, he knows it

  4. #4
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    Listen to the boy of the black and white female animals, he's right.
    You should have a false time constraint. Always

    Well, not always, if you're about to fark her, it's not that good to be short on time, otherwise she'll see you as a fast gunner or disinterested.

    1h and a half with her? Dude, that's too long. Keep it for a maximum of half and hour at the coffee. If she's up to your standards, you can always walk with her a little bit, some tickling, or some hand wrestling or sh1t like that...

    But always have a time constraint. Don't give excuses, don't say "oh, I'm sorry, I can't be with you any longer, because I gotta go here and here", just state "well, now I gotta go". Leave when you feel the meet is blasting. It will leave her hanging for more.

    Props and listen to urbancowboy, he knows it
    Ah, only thing I disagree on is saying suddenly "Oh, I have to go." It seems a little awkward and strange to me. Personally, I'd tell her ahead of time "Yeah but I can only meet you for half an hour before I have to go back to work/whatever." You wanna seem busy and important without being arrogant.

  5. #5
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    True that, you're right mate.
    However, gotta say that I prefer saying nothing and simply walk towards my car when talking to a girl in the street. You're simply... leading. She doesn't know if you can stay for 1 more hour or one more minute because you didn't tell her. I like this way. :P

  6. #6
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    True that, you're right mate.
    However, gotta say that I prefer saying nothing and simply walk towards my car when talking to a girl in the street. You're simply... leading. She doesn't know if you can stay for 1 more hour or one more minute because you didn't tell her. I like this way. :P
    That just cracks me up for some reason. That's just too good, hahaha. The best thing would be if she just follows you into the backseat and well, you know...

  7. #7
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Went on date with okcupid girl, don't know how to proceed

    Ahahahah you know it mate, that would be pure gold


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