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  • 3 Post By sidewinder89

Thread: Need help with non-responsive girl over text

  1. #1
    jpdrake is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Need help with non-responsive girl over text

    Hey guys -- I'm in need of some serious advice / help...

    I've been using some MM / PUA material off and on for a while and it's given me a lot of confidence out in the field. I'm already an outgoing, conversational guy so it wasn't as hard to incorporate.

    I went out this past weekend with a friend when I met this girl that completely blew me away. We had an amazing night drinking, dancing, and getting to know each other. From what I remember, my game was solid. I know it's a mistake to get attached, but I'm completely sold on this girl and I really want to date her.

    Here's my problem:

    I shot her a few texts the next morning (Sunday) and she was pretty non responsive. (Both of her answers were 20 minutes delayed, and 50 minutes delayed) She might have been at work, I'm not sure.

    I decided to wait 3 days before calling her -- I was sick, so it helped to wait. Called her last night, and left a fun voicemail.

    2 hours later she responds with this: "Just got home from the library, got your voicemail! Lol" (She's a student, so I'm assuming she's been busy studying)

    I was out with friends so I responded: "Hey I'm bowling with friends at The Alley, you're welcome to come!"

    Her (quick response): "Ahh I would, but it's been such a long day! I'm probably about to go to bed lol"

    Me (30 minutes later, I was busy): "Haha ok. I'll be running errands downtown tomorrow. You should join me for a coffee break"

    And that's where I'm at. No response since last night and I'm starting to think this girl isn't that interested.

    What should I do now? Should I give her a couple of days and try again?

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with non-responsive girl over text

    Some folks will tell you to do something.

    I'm gonna tell you to leave it. Why? She refused 2 invitations. Plus, she refused the first one without re-framing it. Something like "oh, I'm going to sleep. Do you want to take a break tomorrow/any day and go to the coffee/etc?".

    Moreover, she didn't accept your invitation and you followed up with another one, it's not very good. Actually, kinda needy/supplicating.

  3. #3
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with non-responsive girl over text

    Ok you've done a few things wrong here...

    There is no need to call a girl before you've met them! Phone conversations are awkward at the best of times, why do it with a girl who barely knows you. Don't do it. Just text in future until, you've met a few times.

    You've also pushed for a meet-up faar too soon. You need to re-establish the attraction with a few flirty texts before you just push for a meet-up! To cap it off you've invited her to come out with your friends! NOOOOOOOO, no girl is going to come and meet your friends for a first date.

    Stop bombarding her with invites! You're coming across as desperate. If a girl turns down an invitation and doesn't offer a time to re-arrange then she is saying "I'm not attracted to you enough to agree to a date". You need to calm down and take a step back, just send her a fun flirty text in a few days or a cliffhanger statement e.g. "I just saw something hilarious and instantly thought of you..."

    From there wait until the attraction is there then when you invite her out again, be more alpha. Something like, "I'm hatching an ingenious plan to steal an ice cream truck, meet me at [insert location] at 4:23, I need a wheelman "

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with non-responsive girl over text

    To add to sidewinder89's response:

    Only do an invite AFTER you have put her in a good mood. It'll remind her of the fun guy you are and she will be much more receptive to an invite. Don't just throw it out there.

    The reason why you do this is because it's letting her know, on a subconscious level, "Hey, this girl is fun. I feel like inviting her out now because I forgot how fun she is." It will make her feel like she's EARNED the invite while you are putting her in a fun mood so she'll WANT to see you.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with non-responsive girl over text

    I agree with BatMan's statement. Play a little hard to get to get them to chase you by putting them in a fun mood then going for an invite.

    You did do the invite right after she texted you and maybe could have done a convo to build momentum a little to get her invested and wanting more. Besides why would you want to go out with a girl unless she is really into you?

    Also I think maybe you could try instead of saying "I'm bowling you should join us" as this may be too needy by you having to wait for her instead say "I'm out right now but I would love to see you and continue this on another level." That way you are not throwing yourself out there revealing your fun plans it kinda doesn't challenge her since you told her everything.

    By being a little more subtle about your invites this will allow you to check her compliance first plus may make her curious about what you are doing and who you are doing it with. Don't reveal your plans maybe unless she asks just make her work for it.


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