Re: Letting her take control of the situation...
It happens bro, it happened to me. You need to work on your frame control, as something that is specific to your situation.
I had a similar thing happen to me. If you are a regular drinker after a couple months of no booze you need to remember the fact you will be a bit overly emotional as you can't suppress them with alcohol.
It is good that you realize your mistakes, but the important part is to learn from them.
Just remember, you need (and in this case I do believe you DID have) the groundwork laid for openness and honesty.
In my experience for emotionally weaker men like us, if you get REAL feelings for a girl and want more...after so long you will HAVE to tell her, and it is so scary because they will almost tell you they feel the same if they really like and care about you to avoid hurting you. At the same time any time you drop a bomb like this you need to prepare yourself to walk away.
I think of it like this. I get real feelings for a girl and for a while I'm good. Then I get to the point where I want more with her, I want exclusivity. I get together with her and talk to her, this kind of forces her to make a decision (which in my case is the same crap you heard. I feel the same way about you blah blah). After that conversation we are either together or not talking any more. Though I should note this has only happened to me once in the last year. If she DOES feel the same as me she will want to be with me. If she DOESN'T feel the same way she will give me some of that female bullshit like "I'm not ready". If she doesn't want to be with me then she obviously doesn't feel the same way as me then I'm wasting my time and it is time for me move on and get over her.
KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple