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  1. #1
    blitz8's Avatar
    blitz8 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Trying to set 2nd date - HB is always busy

    Been texting with a girl I met off POF, we met once and that ended with a great k-close. Now, I've been trying to set up a second date and feel like I may be getting brushed off. She says that she wants to see me again, but then makes excuses (possibly legit?) anytime it comes up.

    Here is the latest exchange... she opened me at 7:49am ... I didn't respond until 10:42am and had some rapid fire fun and flirty texts, then as soon as I transition to talking about getting together....

    Me (11:42am): What's the rest of your week looking like?

    HB (12:35pm): Busy actually... vet appointments for my pups, my sister arrives Sunday and I a girls night and sports this weekend! I always end up slammed before company arrives!

    may have screwed up here trying to force the issue?
    Me (1:21pm): I have a window tonight around 8:08 and a craving for some wine, chocolate and gummy worms... you should join.

    HB (3:01pm): I wish I could, sounds fantastic but I'm meeting my gf for dinner tonight. Rain check?

    Me (4:53pm): Rain check huh? I'll make a deal with ya, you can either pick the day or what we do... I'll warn you, I have a nasty schedule the next few days.

    HB (10:06pm): Makes two of us on the schedule front! Hate to say it but I might not be free until after my parents leave on the 18th and I'm headed to the beach with my girls on the 19th... :/


    Now, I have not responded since. Figured I'd freeze her out a bit and was also worried anything I could come up with would come off bad.

    So, should I continue to freeze her out and see if she re-opens? or do I send her something totally random / unrelated to try to get back to flirty exchanges (and at what point do I even try to set up a date)? or am I already dead in the water?

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying to set 2nd date - HB is always busy

    "you should join"

    Not sure if it's bad, but I wouldn't say it... unless I was kidding. "Tomorrow's night I'm going to put my Super-Man costume at a gay bar to dance in the stage and do some strip. You should come, 'cause I need a bodyguard!"

    As for the answer... I think you should give an answer, 'cause the lack of answer could mean to her you got affected. Not that what she thinks matters...
    If you want to reply, say something simple "ok, next week we'll settle that " and then don't say nothing... at least if it's a date.

  3. #3
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying to set 2nd date - HB is always busy

    People are busy dude. I'm busy as sh1t. I work 50 hours a week on top of school and consistently hitting the gym. All of her excuses sound very legit. Don't be afraid to set something up for the future. Since you know she's the busy type don't wait until a day or 2 beforehand to set something up. Literally setup something now for like a week to a week and a half from now. Persist til you get a definite no then you freeze her out. Don't Freeze Out in the middle of trying to set something up. You have no reason not to trust her, and so many times people try to play detective. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong. Now get to gaming my friend!

    Edit: Forgot to say just turn it into a joke and then keep on persisting. "You'd think I was talking to Michelle Obama lol. I've been tied down lately too. The stars are suppose to align on *whatever day*, so I'm taking you out then." This is just a general text. Customize it however you see fit. It reflects my humor and my texting style.

    If she rejects after proposing a meetup wayy down the line. Then you can freeze her out. You're in a good position with her, but you just need more options. This only seems bad because it sounds like she's your only option. I could be wrong, but just don't expect anything. Expect the best, prepare for the worst.

  4. #4
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Trying to set 2nd date - HB is always busy

    Hey blitz8 not a bad deal on the texting man. Funny you say this because I was thinking about a scenario like this myself recently.

    First off I'm busy as heck the next two weeks and am not in a position to commit to seeing a woman very often. My stance on the issue is to game her until she can't take it anymore and has to say yes! This usually takes me 2-3 weeks after meeting a woman to get them to a comfortable place where I won't have to deal with a lot of flaking.

    She is flaking on you dude for a reason you need to make it apparent that you want her but that you are busy too in a non approval seeking way.

    Basically she sounds like she likes you but may be losing interest (flaky behavior). Build more comfort before asking again otherwise you may risk looking needy.

    Like I said get busy meeting other women if you can take it really easy on her (texting less frequently but stay in her radar) and don't get too invested in her since she is not investing in you.

    Last HB I was texting feed me a bunch of excuses why we couldn't meet up then rejected me. So keep it very light and just be casual.

    But yeah she is definitely showing pre-warning signs of rejection. My advice is to act like you don't care.

    Again like I said game her over the next 2-3 weeks and don't ask her again until you feel like she is more invested.

    Try to make the next 2-3 weeks about making yourself more scarce and more Alpha. You could easily turn the tables on her and get her chasing you by displaying Alpha male qualities.

    If you continue to focus on it though you will be driven to have her approval so just play the Aloft card for a while and then go Alpha on her.

  5. #5
    bendenherover is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Trying to set 2nd date - HB is always busy

    she sounds legitimately busy to me. if she kissed you and is still talking to you like she is she still is interested


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