Part 3: What you all are actually interested in
And now, we finally come to that one thing that everyone here wants to see the most: using the Facebook Messenger. The messenger is one of those crucial things to when it comes to picking up women on Facebook. Know how to use it, and you’re golden. Fail to do so, and you will only build bad rep for yourself.
How should I start a conversation with her Swagman?
Well, I can tell you that being a college student, I have had ZERO success with almost all of the canned openers. I say almost because there is one canned opener that has worked, and I do continue to use from time to time. I can most definitely tell you that “hello” or “hey” will get you jack squat, so avoid those like the plague. When it comes to opening, you have to separate yourself from the normal Facebook crowd in a good way. After all, no girl will respond to the boring typical guy.
There’s multiple ways you can go about with firing up that first initial contact. I’ll go through a few of the most successful ones I’ve had:
Poke, Pull, and Play
This was one of the first canned openers that I had ever tested when it came to facebook game. In the early stages of doing it, and to this day, it has yielded some success, especially with the people I already had some contact with.
It’s quite simple to execute. All you have to do is poke her, and when she pokes back, message her the following:
“Did you just poke me?”
From there, all you have to do is just tease her and play along with it.
My only issue with the Poke Method is that its success rate is about in the middle. First, you need to depend on the belief that she will poke back. Second, you need to depend on the belief that when you send her the message, she will reply back. Third, you need to depend on the belief that she will play along AND continue to do so. If at any point one of these fails, then you’re basically screwed when it comes to her. However, when it does work, it can yield some pretty fun and decent results.
The Stalker Method
Despite the name I gave it, this is actually the most successful method I have had yet. Every time I have used this, I have never gotten a negative response back, nor has it never gotten me zero replies. One thing to note before we get into this: This works best for people in school, same workplace as the target, same city or area as the target, just basically any situation where it is possible to see her in public.
The reason I have named this the Stalker Method is because of the fact that this will involve a bit of creeping on her profile. You may call it “reconnaissance”, but let’s be real: it’s creeping.
Anyways, the first part to this is to friend her. This helps for two reasons. One, it lays down the first block of association between you two. Two, as you will see latter in the guide, it helps to be Facebook friends for a bit instead of some random guy messaging you.
Next, you need to check out her likes, where she’s been, what she’s done, what her hobbies are, anything you can get on her. As you’re going through this, keep in mind of any similar things the two of you share. For example, if you both like T-Pain, keep that in mind. Find commonalities between the two of you, because you’re going to expose it in the next part.
The last part to this is to lie and open. Your opener will be a question relating to a mutual aspect the two of you share that in the most likely case is definitely not true. However, her interest will be piqued. The key to this is to make it seem like you saw her in public doing something related to your similar interest. And don’t worry about the lying part. As they say in pick-up, “It isn’t lying, it’s flirting”.
Here is an example: There was this girl I was interested in on Facebook, but the two of us had never met. I knew we both went to the same college, but that was about it. However, after a bit of creeping, I discovered that the two of us shared a mutual love for jazz, especially Duke Ellington. So, after immediately recognizing that in relation to the interest there was a jazz festival of the same name, I opened with the following on her:
“Excuse me, but did I see you wearing an Essentially Ellington shirt today?”
This opener immediately sparked a conversation that ran for weeks and still goes on today. Why did it work? First, I struck a major interest of hers, and even if it is true or not, she’s going to be interested. Second, we've been friends on Facebook for a while, so it is possible for me to have noticed what she looks like in public, and it completely eliminates the feeling that I actually creeped on her profile to get everything I needed for that opener. As I once heard, the best way to sell your product is to make it look like you’re not selling anything. Same thing goes with opening to women on Facebook. Although women can easily detect when a guy is hitting on them, it’s easy to throw them off if you play your cards right.
Here’s another example:
There was another girl that I was interested in on Facebook, but one that again I had never met before. However, I had noticed that we both liked dubstep. So, drawing upon my knowledge of all things bass, I dropped this opener on her:
“Excuse me, but did I see you today jamming to Bassnectar?”
Needless to say, this also worked well for me. Here are some other ones I have used:
(Humanities Major) “Hey, didn't I see you reading some Virginia Woolfe earlier in the library?” (Woolfe is associated with the Humanities)
(Running) “Excuse me, but weren't you the girl that was blazing through the crowd during that 5k?
Thanks Swagman, but these things look like they take a whole load of time. Is there a quicker way?
Sadly, not really. The biggest misconception that guys rushing to Facebook make is that the rules to picking up women on there is the same as on a dating website. There are huge differences between the two, the most prominent of them being that the woman you are hitting on randomly may not be interested in someone randomly hitting on her. This will result in her either ignoring you or blocking you. If you do strike gold, then good for you.
Picking up women on Facebook in the initial stages is an “ease into it” phase. Move too quickly, and she will freak. However, you can wait all you want with her. A week, a month, a year, three years, whatever floats your boat.
Swagman, when should I message her?
Anytime. Facebook messaging is just simply text messaging. It doesn’t matter when she’s on when you send one. If you send a message, all you need to be conscious about is the time intervals in when you send it. Don’t immediately respond to her, because this just shows that you are a guy who doesn’t have a life. Add some spontaneity to it, I didn’t respond to one girl for three days. And then after that, I just responded and sent the conversation back on course.
Alright, what should I message her?
Facebook messaging game is just glorified text game that can show you if she’s ignoring you or not. Same rules apply to basic conversation: flirt with her, increase attraction, build interest, the works. It’s better, because the ability to interact with her is increased significantly by the ability to send links, interact with her wall and posts, and so on. In all things considering, however, they are virtually the same.
How do I get her number Swagman?
If you play your cards right, she will give her number to you when she’s ready. It’s all a matter of how much she trusts you and how much attraction and interest you have built. If you have done it pretty well, then the next time you cut off a conversation, she will give it to you.
If you are that impatient, however, there are ways to get a number out of her. One method I like, and that I found on the forums, involves asking her to text you instead of messaging you, even though she doesn't have your number. This will spur a mini-conversation that will end in her giving you her number. However, given that it’s Facebook, and women are generally more protective of themselves on the site, I think it would be very difficult to get a number out of her without the proper level of attraction and interest.