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  • 2 Post By The Red Baron

Thread: RB - On jealousy and insecurity

  1. #1
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default RB - On jealousy and insecurity



    jealousy is one of those things that plagues all but the most secure man. But itís unhealthy, and I want to discuss a little bit about why.

    At its core, jealousy is rooted in our own insecurity. We get jealous when we see someone attempting to hit on our girl. Some men respond physically. Others emotionally.

    Either way, your response is low value.

    We get jealous because we are afraid of losing what we have. Itís natural, we want to protect our own and have some security.

    Think about it. Jealousy stems from the fact that you are afraid of your partner going for someone else. If someone poses no threat then you wouldnít be jealous. Or rationally, you shouldnít be. If you are, you must acknowledge that somewhere, somehow, you see them as a threat. Even if it doesnít make sense, you do.

    But if youíre high value, alpha, desirable, why would she want something else?

    The problem with most responses to jealousy is that you canít simply convince someone through words that they should be with you. You need to show them through actions, which is what brought your partner to you to begin with. Responding to jealousy almost never serves any purpose except to appease our own insecurities.

    In fact ,it makes matters worse. Whining to someone for them to change their actions is distinctly low value. Youíre betraying your own insecurities. Itís distinctly AFC and lowers your value to your partner. It makes them more likely to leave than simply saying nothing at all.

    The best way to ensure that someone stays with you is to be high value, selective, desirable, fun, confident, etc. Everything weíve trained here to be. So if youíre still jealous and worried, consider why. Itís generally not your partner you need to change, itís you.

    I put this up a few months ago, but itís still a pretty good reference for what high value means.

    http://www.puaforums.com/game/17574-...e-control.html
    http://www.puaforums.com/game/17751-...nner-game.html
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  2. #2
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    Default Re: RB - On jealousy and insecurity

    Man I had this come up unexpectedly even though I know better. It didnt last too long but I was taken aback at how it felt. Havent felt it for a long time.

    Basically, I froze out a girl who has been giving me flakiness. She never came back and I was OK with it. But come to find out she's going out with a guy who I know. This guy has TERRIBLE game... just horrible. Not a bad looking guy, dresses like a thrift store LOL... but soo shallow and not interesting.

    In the end, I realized that perhaps she is a little desperate or as shallow as he is. Def not my type of girl. Also, he gives up control to her. Perhaps she likes that. But she would NEVER get that from me LOL.


    (AND FYI RB: This is the same girl I asked for help from you months back LOL)
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


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    Default Re: RB - On jealousy and insecurity

    When it comes to jealousy and women, I honestly don't care. If another guy likes my girl, whatever. That just means that he likes what I like. When I was with my ex, I was flattered when other guys tried to hit on her. I did keep her, however, because I was a great boyfriend for her, and when I mean great I mean a constant kiss-ass to someone who was mega obsessive about church and 5 year old humor.

    However, when it comes to jealousy and other men, I will have problems from occassion to occassion. I can't help it when I want to be in the position that a successful man is in. However, I use that jealousy and frustration to fuel me and try to make myself even better than I am right now. So far, it has worked very well in terms of motivating me and driving me further.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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