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  1. #1
    jackstraw98 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default addressing red flags in a new relationship

    so i know this site is primarily for pickups but since this is a dating/relationship section i want to ask a few things. i've applied a lot of the mentality i've picked up reading on here more and more over the last several months and while i haven't been banging the whole city it definitely improved my Mindset. anyway i recently decided to actually start an exclusive relationship with a girl but what is still pretty early on there's been some things that have been frustrating.

    ok, I want to prefact the redflags by saying that I live in South America in the Caribbean. we've had a few little spats although its never gotten nasty, just things where I think different ways of seeing things (I don't like to put everything off on "culture") was sharpened. the other night we went bowling with a buddy and his girl and then went out. the plan was to go to a disco, we ended up in a more bar-like place, then went to the disco but it was crowded, there was a cover, etc, so we went to another bar like place....i had a good night (this was a gringo style night out). however when we got back to my place she has not happy we never went to the disco and how she felt I had ignored her because she said the first place looked boring. I at no time really picked up on her not being happy and honestly thought we had a good night even though we didn't go out dancing.

    after a quick spat, we talked about it, had makeup sex and things seemed ok. the next morning though, she was a grouch. we made breakfast and man, nothing i did was right, it was honestly pretty annoying, but I wasn't going to fight with her about it, I just let her do the cooking. that night she did text me and apologized.

    last night after not talking for a couple days i called her to see how she had been, how work was etc...i asked her to come over to make lunch friday, and she gave me the dreaded te confirmo (I'll let you know/I'll confirm) on Thursday....this answer from a lot of girls was what led me to this site in teh first place.

    now maybe i'm being paranoid and reflecting just how much I hate that answer. She was surely hungover the other morning and she is giving exams all week to her preschoolers (4 year olds taking ethics exams, circle the picture of the kids sharing, haha, I thought the US education system had too many exams). she did apologize for her attitude and so far she hasn't pulled any of the maybe/not committing to a plan stuff (anybody that's lived in the Caribbean/Latin America I'm sure knows that people do this crap all the time).

    overall I'm not so concerned that she's not interested or she's playing me, but I want to help steer things to keep this from becoming habit or cyclical early in the relationship. part of me feels talking very clearly is good as given the culture/language difference communication is really key but I also don't want to be overly needy. right now I'm just going to wait to hear from her about lunch, but I also kind of want to make it clear that I hate that answer.

  2. #2
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    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: addressing red flags in a new relationship

    I donít see any red flags from her but from you! Surprised! It seems like you let your buddy and his girl make all the decisions of where you will go especially if you and your lady friend wanted to go dancing and you end up at a boring bar. Your new lady friend is looking for you to be decisive and exciting and you are just giving her another AFC. Also asking her to come over and make lunch is showing neediness and by her not giving you a definite answer should be a sign that you are headed for the friendzone.

    Arrange a date where you do something fun and exciting just the two of you and be decisive on things. Leave your buddy and his girl at home or let them go to the boring bars by themselves. You need to work on your game more so read articles and post on this site about things to do on a date, being alpha etc. Because the way you are headed now you will lose her. Good luck man!


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