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Thread: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

  1. #1
    Neu16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    I'm a white guy for what it's worth. I met a Mexican girl online and added her on Facebook. I realize that ratings are completely subjective to the person doing the rating but to me, I would consider this girl to be an 8 (very thin and beautiful but also pretty short, which is a quality that I happen to enjoy in a female anyway).

    When talking about the dating site we met on, she played it off as if she was not really interested in finding someone - she was just "curious" about the site. Through-out the first week of our conversation on FB, we got to know each other and things got flirty here and there but nothing too serious (we are both religious and sort of held a level of respect for each other) - i actually recieved quite a few mixed signals during this time. Keep in mind, when I first meet a girl, I never initiate a conversation - I let the girl do the chasing so I don't look needy.

    The girl is Catholic - she was talking about a women's retreat she would be goin to that weekend at catholic church nearby. She said there would be a ceremony Sunday evening and a mass afterwards and invited me to go for support. Even though, I personally am not Catholic and do not speak any amount of spanish, I agreed to go. Personally, I thought it would be a good experience and wanted to show this girl that even though I was out of my comfort zone, I was confident enough to hold my own. (Also, it's worth mentioning that I was the only white person at this church. Everyone was Mexican, they were all Catholic and they all spoke spanish - it was awkward to say the least)

    Apparently, I made a good first impression. After the even, she appoligized for it being so long and blah blah. We went our separate ways and she texted me within the hour to tell me she would make it up for it. (as in a date? Idk)

    This was two days ago. Since then, she has still seemed interested and still initiating conversations. Actually, today was my birthday but seems how I'm working, she offered to take me out for sushi this weekend.

    My problem is that, since we've met, even though she initiates and sends in depth messages like she's interested, she takes forever to reply every single message. At least 10 minutes, most of the time upward of 30-60 minutes. Your thoughts?

    Is it possible that shes just busy all the time? Or maybe she's texting a hundred people at once? Or perhaps she just takes a long time so that she can think about the perfect thing to say? Idk what to think. Or is she also trying to "game" me and stay on control?

  2. #2
    FlowTime is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    She's obviously busy , doing what? who knows . You don't want to know and you do not care.

    when she text you , do you usually reply right away?

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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    You've had many views, but no responses. I will sum this up:

    It's not a big deal. Trust me. 10 min is the average time. Wanting her to respond within 2 min is just impractical. Sometimes it happens, other times it doesn't. Don't overcomplicate things. You're doing fine.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    Neu16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    I don't wait a particular amount of a time. Usually 5-10 minutes or more. Usually not longer than a half hour unless I am busy - I don't want her to think shes bothering me. And occasionally I text back immediately but never more than once in a row. I just try to keep it interesting and unpredictable.

    Maybe I am over thinking idk. I doubt that she's THAT busy in between every text. I suspect there's an underlying reason but we shall see I guess

  5. #5
    FlowTime is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    Quote Originally Posted by Neu16 View Post
    Maybe I am over thinking idk. I doubt that she's THAT busy in between every text. I suspect there's an underlying reason but we shall see I guess
    Remain positive buddy , you might just hit a home run soon enough ! or at least 2nd base

    who knows maybe she really likes you and she "hides" her cellphone away for a few before checking it out again to see if you replied ! (girls do that , confirmed from my best female friend and her own friends)

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    That's good to know. Thanks man....

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    Update:

    I was little anxious to know why she was taking so long to get back so I called her out on it.

    Last night she t

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    Sorry, posted early by accident.

    Continued...

    Last night, she took almost two hours to get back. When she got back to me, she apologized and explained that she was held up outside talking to a neighbor. I was ok with the explanation she gave me - I mean I understand that people have lives. It was getting late though and I wanted to cut the 2-3 hours we could be texting, down to a phone call. I asked if she could talk and called her. After a little bit of small talk, I non-chalantly mentioned that it was taking for ever to receive her text messages. I made it sound like I thought maybe one of us has a weak reception or something - I didn't really "call her out" I guess. She then explained that she doesn't live through her phone and doesn't sit by it all day waiting for replies.

    At this point, I'm thinking there are a few possibilities that could be going on.
    Either...

    A) She's telling the truth and just doesn't wait on her phone hand and foot. (if this is the case though, how into me is she really? Maybe I'm just a "friend", or boredom text recipient to her)

    B) Shes lying and doesn't want me to know that shes crazy about me and that she's actually just having a hard time writing witty replies. (this doesn't seem to be the case though. Today, she is still taking forever to return texts. You would think she be tryin to qualify herself by texting back sooner.)

    C) use your imagination

    ...later on in the call, I happened to mention that I conceal carry a gun (I work in Detroit). I didn't realize at the time, I had just started a debate. She went on to explain that she don't think it's necessary for people to have guns and after debating for a few minutes, I got to the root issue of her concern. Her uncle had a gun in his house and didn't keep it locked up properly - one of the kids got ahold of it and started playing gun games with it and the son shot his sister. It's understandable to me as to why she is afraid of guns - I happen to think though that if she had a positive experience with a gun, she would be less concerned about them. (which is the case with most people). She told me that she don't mind that I have a gun but she don't want me to bring it when we go out together. I told her thats not going to happen. A few minutes later, I caved and said "how about this? I will refrain from bring it with me our first time going out. After that, hopefully you will feel comfortable enough with me and with the idea of me having a gun."
    I did this to salvage whatever chance we had at continuing our relationship. I though for sure I scared her away and wouldn't hear from her again but... Low and behold, she initiated a text with me this afternoon and we are still talking.

    Note: I don't care about anyone's politics or feelings on guns. I included that part of the conversation because I wanted to get your feedback on whether things ended up ok.

    Between the gun debate and the "calling her out" on her texting timeliness - or lack thereof rather - would you say I am in the clear? She seems to stille be interested to an extent - I mean, she did text me today. Any thoughts?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    Mate, don't ever ever tell her again about how long she takes to answer your texts. Unless if you do it in a funny way, but even so it's not good. You're being needy and clingy, which sucks and farks up your chances.

    Btw why the fark would you bring a gun to hang out with her? To kill some ducks to your romantic dinner?
    Girls are afraid of guns obviously, plus bragging about having a gun, to a woman, is an AFC signal... an insecurity signal.
    Try to be more funnier with her mate.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Girl initiates then takes forever to respond (long but interesting)

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    Mate, don't ever ever tell her again about how long she takes to answer your texts. Unless if you do it in a funny way, but even so it's not good. You're being needy and clingy, which sucks and farks up your chances.

    Btw why the fark would you bring a gun to hang out with her? To kill some ducks to your romantic dinner?
    Girls are afraid of guns obviously, plus bragging about having a gun, to a woman, is an AFC signal... an insecurity signal.
    Try to be more funnier with her mate.
    I second all of this - but why even mention you have a gun? That sounds like the start of a crappy horror movie. However, if she brings it up during the date, you can use what lenric said about duck hunting and how it won't work out now

    Also, learn to play the text game properly. Mirror her in terms of response time. She takes an hour, you take an hour. Reward her with a rapid text once in a while, but don't let it be the other way around. It's a tough habit to break, but it works. Not only will you not notice the time go by between texts, you'll see that she replies faster. Hell, do it right and she'll be glued to her phone for you
    Always leave her better than you found her.


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