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  1. #1
    Asfalten is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Stood up / forgot / badly planned

    Hey guys..

    I met this girl 3 weeks ago and she spent the night, without anything 'happening' though.

    Since then, I have wanted to meet up with her again, but something has always come in the way.

    But this thursday, my college had this HUGE event, from 12 to 5.

    I talked to her about it, and she had to work till 5, so she couldnt join before late evening. But we agreed that she would give me a call when she was on her way.

    Alright, so the day came. I went with some friends to the event, and went to a nearby college-bar till 19:30 afterwards.

    At that time we were ready to go to downtown to some real bars or clubs. She hadnt called yet, so I called her and told her where I was going.

    An hour later(20:30), i texted her and told her we moved on to another bar. She replied that she had plans with some friends downtown, but didnt know where yet.

    An hour later again(21:30), I called her and she told me she was still at college with some friends. I told her we were moving to a new bar yet again, she asked me to write to her when we got there, but I said we would be there within 15 minutes.

    After that I thought, "fark it. I doubt she is comming downtown. I should have stayed at college!".

    I didnt hear from her anymore that night. sh1t!

    Alright so two days later, on saturday around noon, I wrote to her on FB, she replied sunday morning and a few messages later, she told me that she actually went downtown to meet with some friends, but went home because she had to work the next day.

    What.. The.. Actual.. fark.. sh1t!

    My impression was that we had plans, but looking back, i didnt really.
    I should have been a lot more specific, when making plans!

    But what should I do from here? What would you do?

    TL;DR
    I was downtown, thought I had plans with a girl. She also went downtown, but didnt tell me!

  2. #2
    batsy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Stood up / forgot / badly planned

    Tentative plans. No-no.

    You put yourself in a position where you are waiting for her to take action (call you). This is not good. Either tell her to meet you at XXX at xx:xx or some other time.

    So, she didn't call you after she finished working. You called her, then you texted her, then you called her again. Then you initiate 4th time in a row via FB and she takes a day to respond. Girls have FB notifications blowing their phone up all day. She took a day to write back.

    You were needy, you made the evening about her and she showed zero interest. If a girl wants to see you, she'll help you.

    You didn't have PLANS. A plan is to meet up with the girl at a certain place, at a certain time, hop places to xxx and then take her back to yours.

    Back off here and introduce a frame of challenge. You are being way too available.

  3. #3
    Asfalten is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Stood up / forgot / badly planned

    I might have been too available a couple of hours that night, but I dont think I have been the last couple of weeks.

    But how do you suppose I introduce that frame?

    Just backing off for good, in hopes that she will initiate something?


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