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  • 1 Post By Mr8Hyde6
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Thread: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

  1. #1
    Neu16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Yesterday (Sunday), I texted a girl I have been talking to. I said hello and asked if she was still in Texas (she lost a loved one last week). She told me she was two hours from home. We exchanged a few small talk texts and I told her that I would be hanging with some friends and to let me know if she was up for it (it was a 18-20 drive home from Texas). She said she would let me know. She texted back "Heyy" a few hours later. When I replied, she didn't get back to me for a few minutes and said "I'm on my way to church, I'll ttul". Maybe it was a last minute decision? Otherwise, why text "hey" if you cant talk?

    After church she says:
    "Hey, what are you up to?"
    I told her then asked how church was
    Her: "Lmbo cool. It was good"
    Me: "are you at home?"
    Her: "no, I'm at a restaurant getting tacos lol"
    Me: "lol, well eat one for me too. Are you coming out or just going to stay home?
    Her: "I'm actually going to the Tigers game"
    Me: "ok cool. Well, have fun. I'll ttul"

    She text me this morning saying "hey. Good morning"
    I replied an hour and a half later and asked how the game was and what not. She told me then sort of let the conversation die off.

    Why did she text me good morning if she had nothing to say? She did absolutely nothing to carry the conversation. Does she just suck at talking? Did she want to tell me something but couldn't say it? Was it a pity text since she bailed on me yesterday? Or perhaps a boredom text?

    My options:

    A.) freeze her out. If I do this though and she texts back eventually, she will likely still not have much to say.

    B.) call her out. This is what I'm leaning towards. I know guys say "never call a girl out. It makes you sound needy" but I'm tired of playing games. I really just want to know if I'm wasting my time and energy or if I should invest it elsewhere.

    C.) continue carrying the current conversation. She ended with "yeah lol" and I didn't text back since. I have a few topics I can talk about with her but I don't want to waste my time if she is going to continue with the small talk.

    Attraction seems to be fading. Just to be clear. Setting up a date during the week isn't an option because we work opposite shifts. I feel like I need to talk to her this week and keep gaming/flirting until we can set up another date next weekend.

    That leads me to option...

    D.) wait until tonite and call her on the phone. That way I'm not putting up with boredom texts and I can actually carry a conversation with a tone of voice and at least somewhat gauge her interest. If I go with this option I can integrate either b.) or c.) but as I said before, I'm leanin towards calling her out.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Why she is doing that could be for many reasons... I have dealt with all kinds of texts from girls. From obsessive texters to hour wait response texters.


    It all is in the context of what you are saying to her.

    The text conversations you seem to be having do not have much substance or worth talking about. Even though you asked her questions, the questions are bland.

    Spice up the texts to something more exciting. You want to elicit a feeling or emotion from her in the texts. Even though it may be hard to read what her feelings are, if you engage in a fun text message exchange, you know she will enjoy it.


    I am not sure what the background between you two is so I can't really tell you to say something specific. But why not just text her to hang out. Tell her you are going out and to meet you somewhere. Make the text funny. Make it cocky confident. Don't get trapped in the same old "hows your day" conversations.

    Talking about church isn't really a fun thing to do. I've been to church and I can honestly say it isn't all that exciting.

    Also... it seems she is controlling the conversations because the topics are what she brings up or ends with... So be more controlling. end the conversation before she can. Don't respond immediately. Control where you want the conversation to go also.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr8Hyde6 View Post
    Why she is doing that could be for many reasons... I have dealt with all kinds of texts from girls. From obsessive texters to hour wait response texters.


    It all is in the context of what you are saying to her.

    The text conversations you seem to be having do not have much substance or worth talking about. Even though you asked her questions, the questions are bland.

    Spice up the texts to something more exciting. You want to elicit a feeling or emotion from her in the texts. Even though it may be hard to read what her feelings are, if you engage in a fun text message exchange, you know she will enjoy it.


    I am not sure what the background between you two is so I can't really tell you to say something specific. But why not just text her to hang out. Tell her you are going out and to meet you somewhere. Make the text funny. Make it cocky confident. Don't get trapped in the same old "hows your day" conversations.

    Talking about church isn't really a fun thing to do. I've been to church and I can honestly say it isn't all that exciting.

    Also... it seems she is controlling the conversations because the topics are what she brings up or ends with... So be more controlling. end the conversation before she can. Don't respond immediately. Control where you want the conversation to go also.
    This response is WAY too complicated IMO (I could be wrong though). I think she's just trying to get you to ask her to hang out and you've dropped the ball a bit.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  4. #4
    Neu16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Thanks both of you. Well Duke, I asked her yesterday if she wanted to hang out but by that time she had already made plans to go to the Tigers game. (I also mentioned beforehand when she was on her way home that I was going o be hanging with some friends and she was invited to go if she was up for it after the long drive. She said she would let me know but instead of actually coming out and saying she couldn't make it, she beat around the bush with the "hey, what are you doing?" and "hey" texts. To be honest, if she was going flake out, I'd rather her not get back to me at all. At least then I would know where she stands. My problem is that she keeps dragging this thing on for no forseeable reason.

    I ended up texting her an hour later

    Me: "I see you get distracted easy ".
    Her: "what do you mean?"
    Me: "nothing haha"
    (I thought she was going to play along but apparently not)
    Her: "ok lol"

    I ignored her for a few hours then she texted me with some more small talk and the same thing just happened - it died off. Next time she sends a boring message like "hey", I'm just going to ignore her. (we are friends on FB so if she sees me messing around on there, she will know Im ignoring her which is what I want). If she calls me out later on for ignoring her, I will just come out and tell her I'm not interested in being her "text buddy" or boredom text recipient and that if she wants to talk, she can call. And if she doesn't call me out, I will just continue to freeze her out. If she don't get back to me after that, I know where she stands.

    Also, my texts are usually fun and exiting but I start out with small talk. I don't imitate texts with "hi, how are yous"? If I actually engage in a conversation, I will ask about something we've talked about before that way she knows I've been paying attention -- like how her trip to Texas was and how church was and then I'll ask specific questions about those things. I do this because, I know women like to talk about themselves - they are just waiting to be asked.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Dude, she's giving you IOIs, so you give her IODs? Are you punishing her good behaviour, so that she sees she's not supposed to like you?

    Start flirting with her, it's really not her the one being boring. You are the one being boring, because you're supposed to lead the conversation, I mean, you have the dick and the balls, so you should be leading a funny, flirty conversation. Instead of it, you're being so fucking boring as seeing a 90 year-old guy scratching his balls and you're mad because she's trying to talk to you and engage you.

    Yeah, it's good to ask open questions to women, so that they can talk about themselves, but it is also good to tease them, otherwise you're just the fucking psychologist.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Quote Originally Posted by Neu16 View Post
    Thanks both of you. Well Duke, I asked her yesterday if she wanted to hang out but by that time she had already made plans to go to the Tigers game. (I also mentioned beforehand when she was on her way home that I was going o be hanging with some friends and she was invited to go if she was up for it after the long drive. She said she would let me know but instead of actually coming out and saying she couldn't make it, she beat around the bush with the "hey, what are you doing?" and "hey" texts. To be honest, if she was going flake out, I'd rather her not get back to me at all. At least then I would know where she stands. My problem is that she keeps dragging this thing on for no forseeable reason.

    I ended up texting her an hour later

    Me: "I see you get distracted easy ".
    Her: "what do you mean?"
    Me: "nothing haha"
    (I thought she was going to play along but apparently not)
    Her: "ok lol"

    I ignored her for a few hours then she texted me with some more small talk and the same thing just happened - it died off. Next time she sends a boring message like "hey", I'm just going to ignore her. (we are friends on FB so if she sees me messing around on there, she will know Im ignoring her which is what I want). If she calls me out later on for ignoring her, I will just come out and tell her I'm not interested in being her "text buddy" or boredom text recipient and that if she wants to talk, she can call. And if she doesn't call me out, I will just continue to freeze her out. If she don't get back to me after that, I know where she stands.

    Also, my texts are usually fun and exiting but I start out with small talk. I don't imitate texts with "hi, how are yous"? If I actually engage in a conversation, I will ask about something we've talked about before that way she knows I've been paying attention -- like how her trip to Texas was and how church was and then I'll ask specific questions about those things. I do this because, I know women like to talk about themselves - they are just waiting to be asked.
    I don't believe in having small talk or conversations via text. In my book you text for two reasons: (1) logistics and (2) fun flirting. If you text anything else you're doing it wrong IMO.

    Anyways, by saying "nothing, haha" you sounded like a passive-aggressive asshole. Never make a statement and then say "nothing" unless you're actually trying to be an ass. Nothing, I repeat, nothing, pisses me off more than when people do this. It makes me want to punch people in the side of the frickin head. If you said something you didn't say it for no fucking reason, so just tell me why the fuck you said it.

    Sorry to rant... not in the best mood. But you get my drift.

    As for not wanting to hang out, you didn't give her much of a chance. I highly doubt she wants to hang out with you AND your friends. Freezing a girl out is a drastic measure and too many posters on this forum automatically decide to freeze girls out when things go wrong. AND to add to that, most of the time things went wrong because the poster fucked up, not the HB. Freezing a girl out should be reserved for extreme situations.

    Personally, I think you're using a "Freeze Out" as an excuse to not take responsibility for yourself and to not take initiative. Give her a phone call and say, "Let's hang out!" If she says no, then you know where you stand.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    I understand what you guys are saying. Duke, I wasn't trying to be an ass - I was just hoping that by saying "nothing haha" that it would make her want to drag it out of me. I was totally willing to explain myself, I just wanted her to try a little harder. I realize it probably wasn't the best move. As for the texting thing, I completely agree Duke. It should be reserved for building rapport and setting up dates which is what I try to use it for. I almost never initiate the text convo anyway - its usually her. And when she does, I feel like I have to reply to keep her interested. Understand that I'm not claiming to be a professional pua. I'm an AFC just looking for advice - that's why I'm here. I appreciate all the feedback. As for the hanging with me or me+friends, I figured she would be ok with it. She cancelled our date last week to invite me over to have dinner with her family. I figured she would be willing to put up with the extra company.

    Lenric, thanks or the kind words haha. Jk. I get what your saying. I'm going to try to flirt more when we are actually texting - Im always afraid of coming across as aggressive though. I like subtle flirting that way it actually leaves her wondering. Shes a devout Catholic so I doubt she will be accepting to overly aggressive flirting. At the same time, I realize Ive been too reserved and need to flirt more to keep her interest which is what I will try to do.

  8. #8
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pity/boredom text or does she just suck at holding a conversation??

    Best of luck dude, her religion is pointless for your flirting. Emotion beats logic.


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