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Thread: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

  1. #1
    firenice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    So I met this chick on POF, talked to her on the phone and exchanged pics and what not. Anyhow, went on a date that went so well it lasted a full 24 hours, which is odd because I NEVER have dates like this. Took her to an amusement park, during which she commented on how she's never met a man like me and all the others were boys in comparison blah blah. She kissed me first, and I reciprocated later and spent several hours all over each other. Took her to dinner after and ended up hooking up in the back of my truck. Ended up taking her home around the same time I picked her up the day before.

    Next day, she takes me to a secluded beach, we fool around a bit, talk about what we wanted yadda yadda. As i'm taking her home we set our date for next weekend as she drives 3 hours a day for work, and has school. Fine.

    Monday comes and I get morning texts of "have a nice day, can't wait to see you" etc. Text throughout the day when we're able, called her when I got out of class and had a decent phone call as I was driving to the gym, she kept begging me to tell her what we were doing saturday (both dates were surprises that I did not tell her in advance, just to be ready. Tuesday same thing, morning text and tells me she has a nasty sinus infection and is feeling like crap, I offer to bring her soup to which she replies she doesn't like anyone around her when she's sick except her mother, later I tried calling around 8ish to see how she's feeling to which she doesn't answer or text.

    Next morning I send her the "hug a retard day" text and she responds by calling me the nickname she has chosen for me. She then says "I have to be honest, I might have to cancel saturday because it feels like i'm getting worse and the doctor signed me out from work all week" I tell her "jeeze, that bad? Well you'll be missed saturday" "she responds "i'm really sorry, I was really looking forward to saturday" to which I reply "well i'll make sure to take pictures of all the fun you missed out on" "who knows, maybe you'll feel better by then, got some projects to finish i'll call you later"

    About 7 hours goes by and I call, she doesn't answer again. So I instinctively delete her number, and the texts, call logs, etc. Anything that will tempt me to contact her.

    Now is this because she is legitimately sick? Or did I do something wrong with my texting? I'll admit I was texting a bit much but it never went stale and the conversations were flowing smoothly. Since she never actually cancelled saturday should I send her a text friday along the lines of "see you tomorrow"? And allow her to cancel if she is feeling ill?

    Couple things to note, after our phone call monday night she deleted her POF account. Handsy, very handsy, holding hands, groping etc. when we're together. I've left out descriptive details about the dates because I KNOW they were perfect. This is the first girl in a while that I actually "like" so i'm dwelling on the past days unlike I usually do. Normally, I just forget and move to the next, but this one, she's a keeper IMO and I want to see where it goes.

    So, do I lay back and wait for her to contact me? Or do I play it like everything is the same?

  2. #2
    firenice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Any input at all? Did I fuck things up? Should I proceed with saturday as planned?

  3. #3
    rockd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Sounds to me like she is just sick. You've been sick before, how much do you want to hang out with people or talk to people when your a shriveling mess, your voice sounds terrible, and you feel like sh1t. Probably close to no one. Especially the person your currently seeing.

    Hold off for a little till she gets better, it sounds like she is pretty into you. From your post it looks like you are coming off a bit clingy. With the calls everyday, and texts in the morning. A lot of times a girl doesn't want to know exactly when your going to talk to her next, so try to leave off the "i'll call you later". It sets up an obligation you don't need, if you want to call her, call her, she doesn't need to know everything. If she feels better than she will tell you she can go on saturday, it sounds like you planned to go without her anyway. Do it, and when you guys meet up again talk about how fun it was, maybe take a friend. She needs to know that you like having her around, but if she isn't it won't affect you. Deleting everything about her after two days of NC is far too hasty. You need to detach yourself from her presence.

    She's sick, just wait it out.

  4. #4
    firenice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Quote Originally Posted by rockd View Post
    Sounds to me like she is just sick. You've been sick before, how much do you want to hang out with people or talk to people when your a shriveling mess, your voice sounds terrible, and you feel like sh1t. Probably close to no one. Especially the person your currently seeing.

    Hold off for a little till she gets better, it sounds like she is pretty into you. From your post it looks like you are coming off a bit clingy. With the calls everyday, and texts in the morning. A lot of times a girl doesn't want to know exactly when your going to talk to her next, so try to leave off the "i'll call you later". It sets up an obligation you don't need, if you want to call her, call her, she doesn't need to know everything. If she feels better than she will tell you she can go on saturday, it sounds like you planned to go without her anyway. Do it, and when you guys meet up again talk about how fun it was, maybe take a friend. She needs to know that you like having her around, but if she isn't it won't affect you. Deleting everything about her after two days of NC is far too hasty. You need to detach yourself from her presence.

    She's sick, just wait it out.
    Mmm, guess that's just my own issue then. I go anywhere i've made plans for regardless of my injury/sickness. But I digress,I put on the "i'll call you later" because personally I hate texting. I see what you're saying though, I deleted everything because it helps me dwell on it less. I know she was super into me, crazy into me.

    I didn't even think about it because she was the one initiating the texts until wednesday that is (with the intention of seeing how she was feeling), I call after she texts because again, I hate texting. My original thought was to not contact her until she calls me. But since she never actually cancelled, should I proceed as if she's still attending?

  5. #5
    rockd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Get used to texting, learn to love it or live with it. I'd rather call and do when I can, but texting is a huge part of game. You're going to regret not being great at it when you've already messed up. Be proactive, not reactive.

    If by proceed you mean go by yourself or with a friend on saturday sure. Considering how often you text each other and from what it looks like in your post (because I don't know the whole situation obviously) she seems to be digging you. If you think it's appropriate give her a light hearted, funny text saturday. Maybe like, "Hey Ms. Sniffles(or Mrs. Kleenex), feeling up for some fun?"

  6. #6
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Take breath, relax, don't stress so much. I give you props on trying to prevent yourself from trying to respond too much but some self control is more affective than erasing numbers.

    If you think you are reading too far into it you are over thinking it. That is all there is to it.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  7. #7
    firenice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Quote Originally Posted by rockd View Post
    Get used to texting, learn to love it or live with it. I'd rather call and do when I can, but texting is a huge part of game. You're going to regret not being great at it when you've already messed up. Be proactive, not reactive.

    If by proceed you mean go by yourself or with a friend on saturday sure. Considering how often you text each other and from what it looks like in your post (because I don't know the whole situation obviously) she seems to be digging you. If you think it's appropriate give her a light hearted, funny text saturday. Maybe like, "Hey Ms. Sniffles(or Mrs. Kleenex), feeling up for some fun?"
    Yeah I meant proceed like the date is still on and sending her a text along the lines of "i'll be there around 10" or whatever.
    Quote Originally Posted by hometownextra View Post
    Take breath, relax, don't stress so much. I give you props on trying to prevent yourself from trying to respond too much but some self control is more affective than erasing numbers.

    If you think you are reading too far into it you are over thinking it. That is all there is to it.
    I deleted the stuff to keep me from over analyzing, i'm scientific by nature so i'll spend a ton of time going back and re-reading. I have an uncanny ability to memorize numbers so I can still contact her, its just makes it more conscious when I actually punch in her number.

    Guess i'll just wait it out.

  8. #8
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Nothing wrong with stepping back looking at the situation, then getting yourself composed and re approach the situation. Like to see you playing it smart props on that. Just remember better to rethink the push a bad frame and completely eff it up
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  9. #9
    rockd is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Yes, be careful about how you apply game. If you use game in the wrong way you'll hurt your chances. If you Freeze Out a girl that didn't deserve it you will probably screw it up.

  10. #10
    firenice is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hopefully overthinking, dates went great, she went cold

    Quote Originally Posted by hometownextra View Post
    Nothing wrong with stepping back looking at the situation, then getting yourself composed and re approach the situation. Like to see you playing it smart props on that. Just remember better to rethink the push a bad frame and completely eff it up
    Advice i've been getting is that I already fucked it up. One half of me says to just wash my hands of it and wait for her to contact me, then other half says to proceed as if the date is still on. I got her to fall for me by being me, I guess i'll just play it out as my gut says to. Funny how when I don't give a shit I can't get them to leave, but right when that changes everything starts to matter.


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