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Thread: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

  1. #1
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    I went out with a girl last night (Monday) on a FIRST date that went pretty well.

    Afterwards we went out for a walk for like 15 minutes, then we sat down on a park bench and talked for a bit.
    towards the end while talking, I asked her if I could put my arm around her, and she said lets wait a bit. So I didn't. At the end I said to her, meet one day next week perhaps? She said maybe but let me see what my schedule is. And as we walked away from each other she decided to give me a hug.

    My questions are as follows:
    Was it too early to ask to put my arm around her?

    What do I do now? Should I text her today and flirt? I am thinking of something like "Hey Giggle Goose, last night was very fun and I enjoyed it a lot"

  2. #2
    afcLEX is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    No it wasn't too early, but you shouldn't ask... just do it. Your happiness is what matters, so if you feel like putting your arm around her then do it. You shouldn't have discussed your next meeting either IMO. It just seems kind of clingy that you're still with her and already trying to set up another time together. You would have been better off saying "We need to get together again, I'll call/text you sometime so we can set something up."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    AFCLEX has got it right.


    Also, remember to start the touching early on. A HELLO hug or kiss on the cheek, an arm slap or rib poke/grab. Just little things to get her comfortable with touching. If you go for a bigger type of touch later, it will seem more natural.

    And never never never ask to touch her. It's weird. JUST DO IT LOL!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #4
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    Awesome. Those sound like good pieces of advice to me. A HELLO Hug, I never thought of that, but it's not a bad idea, especially to start the date with when I first see her.

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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    You shouldn't be thinking about whether its too early to do things as in a time frame.....it should be based off of reactions you get from her......Iv shagged girls withing 20 mins of meeting them and Iv had girls where it takes 10 dates to get laid......there is no rule for when it's appropriate to do something it's entirely situational.

    Linking x

  6. #6
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    Yeah dude, imagine you're about to have sex with her. Are you going to ask this questions:

    "hey honey, can I kiss you? Can I take off my clothes? Can I penetrate you?" It's weird. Just go with the flow. Oh and btw, create that flow.

    Also, it should be fluid. For example, when you see her say something like "yoyoyooooooo what's up, how's my favourite girl of the day???" and give her a huge hug. But do this with everyone. Especially girls. Be warm with people, it will make you less self-conscious and more confident/spontaneous with girls. It will make you better and happier!

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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    Mystery said it and I always found it spot on... sometimes it takes 3 0 minutes of quality time but can take up to 7 hrs. It all depends.

    However, touching is always good. Just keep it fun
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  8. #8
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    These are ALL things that I will have to change.

    One of the things that I definitely got to change is not askign about a 2nd date while on the first one. I usually ask about a 2nd one at the end of the first one. I should avoid that from now on.
    As for reading her body language, that is something I always struggle with. Last time I went out (with this date that I just asked if I could put my arm around her) I tried but I wasn't sure of what I was getting.

    I ended up getting put in the friend column by her, which sucks. I always go out on a first date with a girl, but I never get 2nd dates. The closest I came was with a girl who ended up flaking when we were going to go out a 2nd time.

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    It's all good. If you 2 are friends now, you'll meet her female friends. Learn from your mistakes and possibly you'll have the chance of going to a date with one of them and kissing them.

    Remember, try to always remain positive. You feel she just wants you as a friend. Good, you befriended a fantastic woman, who made herself available for you to correct your mistakes, get better with women and possibly meet her female friends

    Best of luck!!


    (btw, when a girl looks at your mouth, eyes, mouth, eyes, always laughs, she wants you)

  10. #10
    Abie23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: First date, too early to put arms around? and what do I do now?

    Well if I get put in the friend column, I don't bother hanging out with them again. I instantly remove their number from my phone, and delete their text messages. So it's over and done with.


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