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  1. #1
    Asfalten is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default [STORY-TIME] Interested, hard-to-get or just friendly?

    Hello guys.

    First of all, SORRY for all the text, but hopefully it is a good story
    I want to bring you up to speed so you have some context.

    Dont sugarcoat it. A side of me is already saying "Bail on this HB, she is a waste of time". And another side has ONITIS, overanalyze and wants to keep trying.

    She NEVER initiates contact, but ALWAYS replies to my texts and within 2-3 min.

    Anyway... STORY TIME, and I want your thoughts BADLY.
    Suggestions / feedback on what I could have done differently and what I should do next, if anything.

    The backstory:

    I met a girl and we hit it off. She showed some big ioi's and a week later she spent the night at my place.
    Anyway.. Nothing special..

    After that, I was too needy and came on too strong. Over the next 4 weeks i tried to setup 2 new meets, but first she had other plans, the next she flaked.

    I completely ignored her and two weeks later she "accidentally" runs into me at a café (she knew I would be there). She fiddle's with my hair to get my attention and say hello. She came alone, sits with someone she barely knows. Later, when she is about to leave, she comes up and hugs me, we say goodbye and I say "maby I see you friday?" (at a bar we both know). She says maby.

    She shows up the next friday, hugs me and says "I promised I'd be here.." We sit and talk, drink with some mutual friends. She has too many shots and gets pretty drunk. I dont really talk to her the rest of the evening, except when I see her leaving. When I ask her where she is off to, she says "downtown to meet my guy..." - When I ask her if she really has a guy, she seems to take it back by saying "... just some asshole" or something similar.

    Last meet:

    I chose to take that as a failed sh1t-test, and ignore it.
    Some days later, i start building rapport via texts and it is going pretty well. She tells me she was glad to see me again and when I ask if she is free the weekend next week, she says no, but she is free THIS weekend. I arrange a meet there, but tell her that I have to go "early".

    On the day of the meet, she texts me, asking me when I will be at the bar. I answer and ask her the same. She replies "same time as you then", and also tells me she has been out bathing with a friend at the middle of the night, the day before. Later, around the time of the meet, she texts me that she is on her way, but "... it is going pretty slow."

    She gets there, Im with some friends, she sits next to me. We talk and play some mild drinking-games with the others. She kept laughing, flicking my nose and slapping me gently each time I tease her. I just took that as some IOI, and I ended up giving her a neck-massage somehow. She told me I was good at it and I playfully replied "yea, I know".

    As we talk, I ask about the story she told me about her bathing with a friend last night. Long story short, she was with a male friend out skinny-dipping and they spent the night together. She told me how he was a bit "pathetic" with his hangover this morning. I doubt anything happened between them.

    She's a smoker and when she was leaving to have a smoke, I asked if I could have one(she knows I dont smoke), and she says "No, you shouldnt smoke.". I said "Alright mom", she just laughed (later that day she called me dad).

    After about an hour she sits down at the bar and talk with some friends. Leaving her purse at the table. Later, when I go to get another drink, I sit down beside her and we talk some more, but she seems distant and bored of me. Anyway, it was time for me to go soon anyway. I dont really remember how we said goodbye, but that doesnt matter.

    I come back:
    I got home to let some friends in who where staying the weekend. After about 3 hours I text her:

    Me: [Sooo.. Are you sober enough to be around?]
    Her: [Haha sure sure ]
    Me: [Still at the bar, or have you moved on?]
    Her: [We're still at the bar]
    Me: [Should we continue the party if I drop by?]
    Her: [Maby ]
    Me: [I'll take that as a yes ]

    Great text-game. I should have stopped at the first text, sh1t.
    I probably shouldnt have come back at all. Anyway...

    I get to the bar again, and the evening progresses with her still begin pretty distant / tired / bored.
    I stayed there for about 2 hours before going home to my guests again.

    These are the major points which happened during that time:

    I met another girl, who I rejected the week before. I didnt want to talk to her, so she slapped me and poured a drink in my hair.
    She (my HB) got angry at her and told her that wasnt okay. I just laughed and told her it was fine.

    I see her kissing a girl, who afterwards writes something on her breasts.
    She dances with a guy she knows and later gets a massage from him when they are out having a smoke.
    While talking to her she at one point says "... I dont understand why you came back here."

    At one point, someone I know(but not that well) talks to her and I hear this:
    Him: [... (my name) got some gode points.]
    Her: [... what did I just say?]

    Dont know what it was about, but I can imagine her, telling him, that she isnt interested in me.

    Not to confuse you, lets say the current weekend is #1, the next is #2 and the next is #3.
    Alright, so as I said ealier, she told me she was busy weekend #2, so we meet this weekend, but I had to go "early".

    Alright, so now, as I was about to leave again, she seems to be alot more friendly and open again. As I hug her goodbye, she jumps onto me, legs around my waist. I hold her for a few seconds, before putting her down again.

    As I know she is busy weekend #2, i ask about #3, as there is a big May-party in town. She isnt ready as she has exams two days after that, but then says "but I might be ready next weekend" (weekend #2). As I wait for my ride, we go talk at the bar and playfully dance a bit. As I leave, she says "I'm also going to leave soon."

    THE END!

    This is farking with my head.
    Did she want a reaction from me when she tells me about her skinny-dipping, spending the night with someone else and later dancing and getting massages from another guy?
    Should I make it clearer that I am interested?
    Is she afraid to show interest herself?
    Is she just a tease, seeking attention from whoever she can?
    Is this a friendzone and I just cant see it?

    But most importantly should I initiate contact later this week, build some more rapport/comfort and setup a meet for weekend #2?
    Or should I move on, or maby hope that she will contact me(im 90% sure she wont, unless she runs into me in person.)

    TL;DR: Apparently I have mild schizophrenia and cannot decide what to do

  2. #2
    metalmulisha is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: [STORY-TIME] Interested, hard-to-get or just friendly?

    im not so much of an expert on this but it looks like you were given many opportunities to k-close.especially when she jumped on you.she is clearly interested and is probably waiting for you to make a move,take charge man!.that skinny dipping story was obviously her flirting with you,she was trying to get you to think of her naked.i suggest making a move quickly before her attraction dies.you may even have an chance to f-close but you may want to test the waters with the k-close first.go out there and do it,remember to keep it fun and keep her guessing

  3. #3
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    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: [STORY-TIME] Interested, hard-to-get or just friendly?

    I couldn't count how many IOIs there were. Come again, why didn't you kiss her yet?
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  4. #4
    punkbyblood is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: [STORY-TIME] Interested, hard-to-get or just friendly?

    You just forgot to close, that's all. Sometimes I do that too if I've been drinking too much.

  5. #5
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    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: [STORY-TIME] Interested, hard-to-get or just friendly?

    Quote Originally Posted by punkbyblood View Post
    You just forgot to close, that's all. Sometimes I do that too if I've been drinking too much.
    Same thing happens to me if I get too crazy at a college party. I miss out on opportunities, and I end up banging my head against the wall afterwards. Ever since my 20th Birthday, I have been hyper careful on the drinking. I'll have enough to have a good time and get really livened up, but I won't go over that. This is mainly because my desire is to get the ladies at the parties, and being under the affluence of inchohol will do me no good.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #6
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: [STORY-TIME] Interested, hard-to-get or just friendly?

    OK first off, respect for being so honest and not sugar coating this at all. I'll do the same with my reply

    Personally I disagree with the above posts...

    To me she seems like a trashy girl who basically wants the attention from any and every guy she can. She might be good for a fling but don't go for a relationship with her.... it will end badly and she won't stay faithful.

    There is no way you should be showing more interest! She knows you're interested; that's the problem. You've been throwing out date invitations like confetti... stop it! And stop using the word "maybe". It's really beta and needy. less of the whole "are you free this weekend maybe?" NO!

    She was telling you about a guy she went skinny dipping with and then "spent the night with" so farked basically. I'd have bailed right there and then, do not listen to her tell you about other dudes she's farking... it's disrespectful.

    I could go on but basically she's flaked on you multiple times, told you she's farking other guys and blows hot and cold to keep you interested. If you want to close her just ditch the beta behaviour and go for it... wait a week or so and see how things lie then send her an energetic re-engage text.

    personally I'd say cut her loose and go after other girls she's not worth the aggro.


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