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  • 1 Post By lucifer7
  • 1 Post By petro

Thread: Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

    I met this girl that I already know a bit but with whom nothing happened so far.

    She had been asking for a possible meetup more than once.

    PARK AND WAY HOME
    We went to the park, she brought most of the picnic gears and I was (a bit) late as usual.
    We sat and drank wine for like 30 mins.
    It started raining so she proposed a pub, I proposed my place but then we settle for hers as she had left the windows open.

    She had to wake up at 6, so I said "damn, does it mean I have to wake up at 6 as well?".
    I wasn't even thinking about the implications, it just came natural to ask and she said "you won't stay for sure", but then added "I can give you spare keys".

    ON THE TRAM
    In the 1st tram she was standing really really close to me.
    On the 2nd tram we were sitting, I had the biscuits between my legs and when she took one she smiled and said "smart move" hinting at the fact she had to reach close to my crotch to get one.

    HER PLACE
    At her place she lightens the candle, she says to "make the atmosphere, but nothing will happen don't expect anything". I said "I don't expect anything". Maybe I should have shut up .
    I sat on a couch, she slouched to another one in front.

    She asked if I was seeing someone, I said "nobody in particular". She was seeing someone, and wasn't sure if she wanted it to get more serious.

    A couple of times we just looked at each other and she raised the eyebrows twice, quickly, an expression I've never seen but that I interpreted as a possible ioi for a move.

    We were talking, and I thought about making a move when the bottle of wine was at around half.
    But she lit up a joint, which I only later realized had no tobacco in it and was really strong.
    A bit high and drunk, I didn't think much about the sexual escalation thinking it might have naturally morphed into just moving to bed together.
    She was high and not much sexual Tension after that. Soon after she got terribly sleepy.

    BOOTED OUT
    I realized my time was over too late, when she got up to check the tram connections.
    I said "oh, you're kicking me out", to which she replied she was really tired and needed to wake up really early.

    I invited her to sit with me more than once, even got up to extend my hand a bit while she walked away from the PC. Insisted a bit, not too desperately I believe , but nothing by then.
    The good mood and vibe was totally gone, just a tired girl now.

    At the door I lingered on for the hug to go for a kiss, but nothing, as I expected.

    Waiting for the tram I thought about a last attempt text saying I would have liked to sleep there, but deemed it as desperate and left it there.


    YOUR OPINIONS
    When would you have done the move?
    Park, too soon I thought.
    Good vibes in the tram, both cool and relaxed, sipping the wine. Maybe I could have put my arm around her while we were sitting close?
    Writing her now, the day after, or leave it like this?

    I'd appreciate your opinions .

  2. #2
    puafua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

    When she said "Don't expect anything" Who "makes the atmosphere" whithout any romantic desire? I would have told her "It's not me I am worried about doing anything....You bring me here and try to seduce me by setting the mood." This can sometimes turn the table, and puts the ball into your court.

  3. #3
    petro is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

    Im no expert but ill give you my opinion.
    Quote Originally Posted by lucifer7 View Post
    I met this girl that I already know a bit but with whom nothing happened so far.

    She had been asking for a possible meetup more than once.

    PARK AND WAY HOME
    We went to the park, she brought most of the picnic gears and I was (a bit) late as usual.
    We sat and drank wine for like 30 mins.
    It started raining so she proposed a pub, I proposed my place but then we settle for hers as she had left the windows open.

    She had to wake up at 6, so I said "damn, does it mean I have to wake up at 6 as well?".
    I wasn't even thinking about the implications, it just came natural to ask and she said "you won't stay for sure",
    She thought it was a possibility, id take it as an ioi
    but then added "I can give you spare keys". ioi2

    ON THE TRAM
    In the 1st tram she was standing really really close to me.
    On the 2nd tram we were sitting, I had the biscuits between my legs and when she took one she smiled and said "smart move" ioi3 hinting at the fact she had to reach close to my crotch to get one.
    i would have tried to k close here

    HER PLACE
    At her place she lightens the candle, she says to "make the atmosphere, but nothing will happen don't expect anything (shit test)". I said "I don't expect anything (failed)". Maybe I should have shut up .
    lol i wouldnt say shut up,"wow you gotta at least buy me dinner first" usualy makes them laugh and kinda switches it up like shes trying to seduce you or "hey! you're the one lighting candles here"
    I sat on a couch, she slouched to another one in front.

    She asked if I was seeing someone, I said "nobody in particular". She was seeing someone, and wasn't sure if she wanted it to get more serious.
    Here she knows youre single and is where i would have moved in for more intimate kissing then escalated
    A couple of times we just looked at each other and she raised the eyebrows twice, quickly, an expression I've never seen but that I interpreted as a possible IOI for a move.

    We were talking, and I thought about making a move when the bottle of wine was at around half.
    But she lit up a joint,
    (i would have been fucked here lol i cant interact with ppl let alone women stoned) try to keep weed out of the occasion, but maybe thats just me
    which I only later realized had no tobacco in it and was really strong.
    A bit high and drunk, I didn't think much about the sexual escalation thinking it might have naturally morphed into just moving to bed together.
    She was high and not much sexual tension after that. Soon after she got terribly sleepy.

    BOOTED OUT
    I realized my time was over too late, when she got up to check the tram connections.
    I said "oh, you're kicking me out"
    instead of this i would have tried "You look tired wanna go lay in your bed" as a last resort
    , to which she replied she was really tired and needed to wake up really early.

    I invited her to sit with me more than once,
    "im a little cold/you look cold come warm up over here" could have worked or ive found playfully hitting her with a pillow then run to the couch while she comes after you to work
    even got up to extend my hand a bit while she walked away from the PC. Insisted a bit, not too desperately I believe , but nothing by then.
    The good mood and vibe was totally gone, just a tired girl now.

    At the door I lingered on for the hug to go for a kiss, but nothing, as I expected.

    Waiting for the tram I thought about a last attempt text saying I would have liked to sleep there, but deemed it as desperate and left it there.
    Good thing you didnt text her after


    YOUR OPINIONS
    When would you have done the move?
    Park, too soon I thought.
    Good vibes in the tram, both cool and relaxed, sipping the wine. Maybe I could have put my arm around her while we were sitting close? Would have been a start to some Kino
    Writing her now, the day after, or leave it like this?
    My advice would be contact her once during the week, keep it friendly, not to long. Then contact her a second time on the weekend for another date, maybe tell her to meet you some where. At least k close on that second date. From what you wrote i think you could have f closed if you did the right things.

    I'd appreciate your opinions .
    As i said, im no expert but this should help. Good luck bro

  4. #4
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

    She now says she doesn't want to see me again "after my very inappropriate behaviour".
    And after I asked if I had left the corkscrew and mints there she says she trashed the mints.

    Do you guys think it's a question of "distorted remembering"?
    I absolutely didn't force things physically at all except for going for the awkward kiss at the door when I already knew it was too late but even there, backed off immediately.

    Still, this reaction seems to me way over the top even considering the psychological distortion.

    I wouldn't want it to affect me too much but if there's something that bothers me is having people feel bad because of me and here she comes blaming me for "very inappropriate behaviour", but who invites a guy home with a wine and then gets all worked up for a move?
    It's actually affecting me, and not because I lost a chance, but because of what she's accusing me of...



    How would you reply?
    Make a joke if she also wants to make a Macumba on the corkscrew, or telling her what she's saying is unfair or... ?

  5. #5
    petro is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

    Well dont try and convince her with logic how what she is saying is unfair, that wont get you any where even though i think its unfair. She could just be testing you to see if your persistent or to test your boundaries or to see how you react DO NOT LET IT AFFECT YOU. Go get your corkscrew and while youre there try to set up another meet up

  6. #6
    Odlaw is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Back to her place but asked to leave: when to make the move?

    You rejected her. That is how she sees it anyways. She "set the atmosphere" for you but said "Don't expect anything to happen" strictly to make herself feel better about it if something did happen. For the most part what she says does not matter. About a week ago I posted this - http://www.puaforums.com/pick-up-fie...t-me-laid.html you can read it if you want for the details but I had a girl in my ride on a D1 that said this immediately after our first kiss "I'm not sleeping with you on the first date." 15 minutes later she was grinding on top of me topless. You should have made the move because now she feels rejected. The way I see it a girl will never penalize you (Think less of you or make her not want to be around you) for making a move to early. In fact they will think "Wow this guy knows how to go after what he wants" Granted she wont be dropping her panties or anything but she will think more of you for making the move early than she will if you don't make it at all.
    Any of you guys in the Dayton Oh area let me know and we will sarge.


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