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  1. #1
    puafua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    So, I have been spending a lot of time, the past few weeks, with a girl I haven't seen in 8 years. She wants to do everything with me. Her body language says she likes me and when we are together she always stays really late. she is always pushing and touching me, including leaning on me on the couch. Then later apologizes for invading my personal space. Usually, we text each other nearly every day. This weekend we both went out of town (separate places) we told each other to have a good weekend. It is Monday now and we still haven't texted each other. Should I Freeze Out and see if she texts me or should I make contact and suggest she stop over? I am also a little afraid that I have waited too long to kiss close, but we both just came out of long term relationships. I have dated and f-closed a few girls since my breakup and usually I am not this nervous when it comes to women. For some reason I just don't want to mess things up with this girl. any input?

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    Given the fact the two of you came out of long relationships, it's alright that you haven't kissed her yet. If you had wanted to do so early, you could have done it though.

    Right now, you're big problem is that you are depending on this situation way too much. You are investing too much concentration and effort, and that can lead to self sabotage. What you need to do is dump all of your worries and fears and just have confidence in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can do just about anything when it comes to picking up and doing stuff with any girl.

    In terms of what you should do now, don't freeze her out. Usually in most situations, Freeze Out is never the answer. You would benefit more by firing up a flirty conversation with her. Fire it up with a reference to a nickname, a past fun moment, and so on. When she sees your message, you want her to think of the fun talks the two of you have had, and the potentail fun the two of you could have if she continues to stick with you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    puafua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    That makes sense. I will contact her without making it seem awkward. She did want me to cook for her this week. I think I might text her with something like the "I went to see if you were in jail ...." bit. Or would that seem like I am just trying to find some reason to text her. Maybe I should just text her because I want to know how she is and make plans.

  4. #4
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    Yes, you are.
    It doesn't really matter that much how much time went since your last relationship, you're attracted to her and she's attracted to you. Meet her up and kiss her. If her body language invites you to (looking at your mouth, reinitiating conversations, touching you, etc. Also, touch her. Don't be Robocop).

    Don't expect however the boyfriend/girlfriend business. Too early. But kiss her. Whenever there is mutual attraction, kissing must be the first result.

    Oh and by the way mate, don't text her all day long. She'll get bored of you. You'll get bored of her. Or she'll get bored of you and you'll want even more of her.

    Best of luck and remember, kiss kiss!

  5. #5
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    Yeah it sounds as though she was primed for escalation and wanted you to, but you didn't... In my opinion it is always best to try and escalate... I don't mean just lean in necessarily. But test the waters. Kino, touch her arm, her shoulder see what resistance you meet.

    If she's comfortable with your touch kissing is a very easy next step. Remember kino then kiss.

  6. #6
    Zeus101's Avatar
    Zeus101 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    If you start asking yourself if you could have/should have kissed her or not, the chances are you could have kissed her already. Its often the self doubt/ hesitation that makes guys get nervous, dont spend time thinking about it and act upon it, show confidence. Even if its just on the cheek to make sure you arent getting mixed signals as thats easier to recover from than a full on lunge at lips kiss.

    -Zeus

  7. #7
    puafua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    Ok, so I get the picture. Next step, I probably won't be able to see her for a week because I am really busy. How am I going to keep her interested in the meantime. Should I just set up a time and place next week?

  8. #8
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    Flirty texts to build a little rapport. Set the groundwork first and build the attraction back then set up a date for the weekend or something. From here you can flirt and future project things that can happen on a date.

  9. #9
    Zeus101's Avatar
    Zeus101 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I waiting too long to kiss close?

    Yeah, the occasional flirty text so not to lose disinterest. Backing off for a bit whilst youre busy alone will make her more interested for your attention, knowing that she isnt on your mind the whole time and has to work for your attention/texts. Being too needy and texting loads/replying quickly can sometimes scare the girl off as its too easy for her, only talking from experience here! arrange a date, something original, keep the texting interesting, no boring short texts about crap!

    -Zeus


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