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Thread: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

  1. #1
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Quick backstory. A new girl started working at my job a few weeks back. I introduced my self and talked to her every so often. Wasn't until a couple a days ago I decided I'd tried to pick her up cause she's sexy. Anyway, I got her number and invited her out for coffee. I got her number last Thursday, and we were suppose to meet yesterday (Monday) for coffee. She couldn't make it because she had to pick up her brother from school. Her text:

    Her: Hey I need to reschedule I have to pick my brother up from school again

    I called her after this to reschedule. We were talking for like a minute then my phone cut off so I didn't get to reschedule. When my phone cut off she sent me this text:

    Her: I don't know what happened lol
    Me: lol my phone prolly cut off, it tends to do that. I'll call you in 10 minutes when I have more bars.

    She didn't respond to that text or pick up the call. So I waited out yesterday and planned on rescheduling today when I saw her in person.

    Today happens. She walks past me in the morning and says hi. I say hi and we talk for like 10 minutes. It's in front of all my co-workers (I work at a school), so I didn't try to really Kino (except for hi fives and when I was leaving I placed my hand on her shoulder to say bye). I told her we'll meet up today at 6:07 pm. She said she should be free but she'll let me know. This was like 5 minutes into the convo. I didn't want to rely on her contacting me so when I was leaving, I told her that I'd text her and that we'd link up later tonight. She said cool.

    Anyway, so I texted her at 4:28 this:

    Me: Hey twin 1.. Be ready to relax and chill out for a little bit. I'll meet you at the Starbucks on 59 and 127th at 7:03 pm sharp.

    Her: Hey Lonnie I'm not going to be able to make it. Sorry I just don't think it's a good idea. I rather leave our relationship at a coworker level. Hopefully you understand.

    I got rejected. I don't care, it happens all the time. I've never been in this particular situation though when a girl texts me about not moving the relationship forward.

    I was thinking about flipping it. I never said anything about a relationship. This is just her thinking forward. I would say something like:

    Me: Oh I may have given you the wrong impression. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm just looking to meet new people and to have fun. You seemed like you'd be a fun person to hang out with, that's all.

    Any help on how to respond before I respond would be much appreciated fellas. I know I've seen a few topics around here before on how to handle this type of situation, but I can't find any.

  2. #2
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Ok I decided to respond sooner rather than later because I didn't want to make it seem like I was butt hurt (which I'm not). This is how I responded:

    Me: Oh shoot, I may have given you the wrong impression. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything. I'm just looking to meet new people and to have fun.

    I don't know if it was a good response or not, but ultimately at the end of the day it makes it seem like I rejected her. I'm still interested in hearing what you guys have to say though. Stop viewing from the sidelines and leave some feedback!

  3. #3
    afcLEX is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Be persistent. She said "I just don't THINK...". in woman language that means it is possible. Otherwise she would have said "I do NOT want our relationship to leave work...".

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    Odlaw is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    You shouldn't have messaged her that in my opinion. Now she may automatically put you in the friend zone. I think you should have busted on her about thinking of you in a relationship. Maybe something like woah woah who said anything about a relationship? I just met you. That way you are not saying I don't want that with you but you also are not telling her that you do. I don't think you will be anything other than this girls friend. Which is ok because sexy chicks tend to have sexy friends. I am still fairly new so if any more experienced puas would like to add or comment onto my advise I would welcome it. Hope this helps man. GL.
    Any of you guys in the Dayton Oh area let me know and we will sarge.

  5. #5
    afcLEX is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    oh... and remember, girls don't want to look like sluts. So she needs to make sure that if she hangs out with you that you are not going to go around bragging to everybody at work, and she doesn't want you to think that she just goes out with every new guy at work. So like I said, be persistent.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Quote Originally Posted by afcLEX View Post
    Be persistent. She said "I just don't THINK...". in woman language that means it is possible. Otherwise she would have said "I do NOT want our relationship to leave work...".
    I could still persist I guess. I'll just place her on the back burner and talk to her like nothing ever happened. I'll text her occasionally and talk to her in person. I won't push for any meetups anytime soon. Not until I start to see some attraction arise. I appreciate it bruh!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Odlaw View Post
    You shouldn't have messaged her that in my opinion. Now she may automatically put you in the friend zone. I think you should have busted on her about thinking of you in a relationship. Maybe something like woah woah who said anything about a relationship? I just met you. That way you are not saying I don't want that with you but you also are not telling her that you do. I don't think you will be anything other than this girls friend. Which is ok because sexy chicks tend to have sexy friends. I am still fairly new so if any more experienced puas would like to add or comment onto my advise I would welcome it. Hope this helps man. GL.
    I like that response a lot better than mine. Tis all a learning experience so if this situation ever arises again I'll know how to respond. Thanks my man! If I get friend zone it won't get reinforced. When I see her in person, I'm taking nothing but risks and saying risky things. Basically, stop anything before it gets started. Use this as practice with only 2 possible outcomes, she'll love me or hate me lol. Again, she's on the back burner though..

    Quote Originally Posted by afcLEX View Post
    oh... and remember, girls don't want to look like sluts. So she needs to make sure that if she hangs out with you that you are not going to go around bragging to everybody at work, and she doesn't want you to think that she just goes out with every new guy at work. So like I said, be persistent.
    Makes sense. I'll still persist, but mainly only in person.

    Nice input guys! Any more feedback would be nice too..

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Quote Originally Posted by afcLEX View Post
    oh... and remember, girls don't want to look like sluts. So she needs to make sure that if she hangs out with you that you are not going to go around bragging to everybody at work, and she doesn't want you to think that she just goes out with every new guy at work. So like I said, be persistent.
    That makes sense. I think that's the reason she said what she said. He shouldn't have tried to pick her up in front of all the other workers. ( the way you was talking and very body watching probably made her feel like a slore or something along that line.) does that make sense?
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    That makes sense. I think that's the reason she said what she said. He shouldn't have tried to pick her up in front of all the other workers. ( the way you was talking and very body watching probably made her feel like a slore or something along that line.) does that make sense?
    Possibly, but I kept the conversation pretty basic. Nothing sexual or anything like that. The worst was re scheduling a time to grab coffee. People weren't really listening in anyway. We kinda were getting looked at a lot though, but that's just natural. If anything it's just her overplaying things in her head.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    Lol yeah, they are women they do that alot and I know I get mad at those types of stuff personally. But women feel that they are constantly being judged( especially by other women). Just hop back on the horse and giddie-up
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Got rejected. How should I frame my response?

    She responded. I didn't think she would..

    Her: Oh I guess I thought different when you were saying how beautiful I was lol

    That's not what happened lol. I got her number by going in direct. I was driving my car and she was walking. I pulled up to a stop sign and when she walked by I signaled for her to come. When she came I said, "don't take this the wrong way but........ dramatic pause......... you are absolutely gorgeous. Asked her what she was doing and pushed for the coffee date. She was busy so I got her number instead. That's the only thing I ever said to her about her looks. lol

    Where to go from here?


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